Two Eds and a Bro
by Hetalia Red
Summary: Since his parents have gone missing, 16 year old Edd has been staying with his best friend Eddy and his family. Unknown to Eddy, Edd had harbored a crush on Eddy for a while. To make things more complicated, Eddy's brother moves back in and decides to introduce the two teens to his decadent lifestyle. This story does contain EddEddy and BroEdd, you have been warned.
1. Chapter 1

Warning: This story does contain slash. Please find another story if that bothers you. Also Ed, Edd, and Eddy and its characters doesn't belong to me, they belong to AKA Cartoon and Danny Antonucci.

"Eddy. Eddward. It's time to wake up!" A hoarse voice called from the other side of the door. Eddward awoken at six in the morning and had gotten ready before anybody in the house was awake. He had been counting his ant farm before the matriarch of the McGee household had called them from behind the door. Eddy, on the other hand, was still sleeping like a log.

"I've been up for quite some time, Mrs. McGee." Double D announced, opening up the door. "But I'll wake Eddy you for you."

"You're a peach," The plump middle-aged woman with a lit cigarette in her hand smiled warmly. "He promised to help me move Matthew's boxes today."

"I'll inform him of his responsibilities." Double D quickly changed the subject to satiate his own curiosity, "Have Mother and Father been found yet?" The sixteen year old inhaled sharply, hoping for a miracle that his beloved parents have been found. Edd's parents went missing after returning home from a business trip. A missing persons report was filed soon after and Eddy's mother agreed to let Edd stay with them until his parents were found. After a month, some of his belongings were moved into Eddy's room.

Eddy's mother sighed, "I'm sorry, Eddward. I wish I can tell you that I know where Marian and Sam are."

"Much obliged," His eyes were downcast, "I want to thank you for your kind hospitality these last six months. I am grateful that you would allow me to live here even though I'm not family."

"Don't mention it, sweetheart," she coughed after taking a puff from her cigarette, "you're a good kid. Shame that my two boys are not as respectful as you are." Edd could only smile, not wanting to badmouth one of his best friends from childhood. Sure, Eddy was foul-mouthed and crass, but underneath that was a guy that cared deeply for his friends and craved acceptance from others.

"Well, I suppose I better get ready. We have a long day ahead of us." Before he could say anything else, she was already heading down the hallway about to do her daily routine. Edd turned towards the sleeping lump that took over three-fourths of the bed that cocooned himself under the purple blanket. Eddy was a bed hog. The fact that Eddy's bed could fit him, Edd, and Ed comfortably didn't matter. Eddy still stretched out his arms and legs when they both went to bed.

"Eddy, wake up," Edd shook his friend from his slumber. Eddy mumbled in his sleep and rolled over on his side. Edd sighed with annoyance at his friend's unwillingness to get himself out of bed. He knew of another way to get his friend out of bed without resorting to painstaking trying to replicate counterfeit money to flash in his friend's face. Edd's fingers ghosted over Eddy's midsection and began their dance as Eddy squirmed and laughed.

"Ah, c'mon Sockhead! It's Saturday! Can't I sleep in today?" Eddy said between laughs, "Alright! Alright! I give! I give up! I'm waking up! I'm waking up! Geez, Sockhead!" Eddy sighed with relief once he stopped being tickled. "Why did you wake me up?"

"Well, Eddy. Your mother wanted to make sure you made good on your promise to help her move boxes for a certain Matthew fellow." Edd explained.

"Uh-huh," Eddy nodded, sneering, "Having him move in would be as fun as having my teeth pulled."

"Why Eddy. I think it's wonderful to have a new house guest. They might want to share the tales of adventures they have taken to various parts of our vast planet. They might also be a poor well-educated soul who is looking to stay here while they complete their degree. Can you imagine hearing chatter about what goes on in college?"

"In your dreams," Eddy rolled his eyes, "you don't know who Matthew is. Do you?"

"I cannot say that I've ever met the guy before," Edd admitted.

"Oh you've met him before," Eddy grinned at the confusion written across the intelligent teen's face. He wrapped his arm around his friend's waist and mimicked the person's voice, "I like you, Girlfriend! You've got spunk!"

Edd paled when Eddy gave his impression of the person that he remembered not to fondly. "Your brother is moving in here?!" Edd shuddered at the memory of Eddy's brother. They had met him when they were 12 years old. After a long day trip of traveling out of the Cul-de-Sac to the amusement park Mondo A-Go Go, they found Eddy's brother by complete accident, thanks to Eddy's lie about his brother being a whaler. Edd, Ed, the Kanker sisters, and the kids of the Cul-de-Sac discovered the truth about Eddy's brother; he was a lowlife that did not think twice about abusing his own little brother.

"Eddy, this might be a dangerous situation. Let's not forget the callous way he treated you when we were both prepubescent boys."

"He hated kids," Eddy shrugged, "but think of it this way, Sockhead. I can still get into his good graces since I'm not a kid anymore."

"I don't know, Eddy. We might need to ask Kevin and Nazz for a second opinion on your brother. They seem to have met his acquaintance before his stellar career as a carnival worker."

"That's a great idea," Eddy replied enthusiastically, getting up from his bed, "we'll ask ol' Shovel Chin what my brother was like before he moved away and find out how to get on my Bro's good side. My folks are going to get the first load while we wait." Eddy pointed out the window towards his parents getting into a rental truck. "Mom told me last night when you were too busy scrubbing the hell out of our bathroom. She and Dad are going to drive the moving truck to my brother's house and pack up his heavy shit. My bro's driving his car here with his smaller stuff. That gives us just enough time to talk to Kevin and get Lumpy to help us."

Eddy began to undress. Even though Edd had seen his friend naked many times since they were toddlers, he tried to avert his gaze away from his friend's bare body. Puberty was a strange thing. Even before puberty, the sight of nude bodies made him extremely uncomfortable. The sight of naked bodies still made him uncomfortable. However, the sight of Eddy's nude body was enough to make his heart flutter and his palms sweat. He stared at the disco ball to distract him from the fact that his friend was in his birthday suit.

"Hey Sockhead." When Edd turned towards the sound of Eddy's voice, his friend was already dressed, "you alright?"

"Yes Eddy. I'm alright." He straightened, trying to give Eddy the false impression that he was nonchalant.

"Eh, whatever," Eddy shrugged. "C'mon, Double D."

Edd followed Eddy out of the house. Over the fence of Eddy's yard, they found Kevin working on his motorcycle. Some things in Rethink Avenue have a tendency of remaining consistent. Kevin's love for bikes was one of them. Kevin wiped the sweat from his brow and peered over the fence at the two teens that were watching him. "What do you two dorks want?"

"Hey Kev," Eddy greeted, chuckling nervously, "I've got a question to ask you."

"If you want to ride my bike, you already know the question to that." All three of them knew that Kevin barely let anyone touch his bikes.

"Pardon me, Kevin," Edd waved at their ginger-haired neighbor, "Eddy is desperately reconsidering trying to reconnect with his brutish brother. You see, Eddy's brother is moving back in with his parents and Eddy is hoping that his brother is more sympathetic towards him since he's not a child."

"Eddy's brother is moving back here?" Kevin's eyes widened and his skin became several shades paler. He looked between Edd and Eddy to see if either of them was trying to trick him. Once he seen that they both were serious, he grimaced. "I'm warning you right now, Dorky. If that psycho lays one hand on Nazz, I'll put that son of a bitch in the hospital."

"Okay Kevin," Eddy rubbed the back of his neck nervously, "So what do you know about my brother?"

"Not much, man." Kevin replied, "My cousin Sasha went out with him for a short while, but shit didn't work out. Other than that, other teens were scared of him. Even the ones that he went out with were scared of him. If he wasn't scaring the shit of people, he was scamming people and chasing tail."

"Thanks Kevin," Eddy nodded, feeling as envious of his brother's life before Mondo-A Go Go just as he did when he considered his brother his hero.

"Don't mention it," Kevin put his bike helmet on and swung his leg over the bike. He revved up the engine. The engine of his motorcycle purred and he gave them a lazy wave. "Good luck dorks! Catch ya later!"

"Well, that went well," Edd smiled awkwardly as he watched Kevin ride off.

"If you say so," Eddy muttered as he started to walk towards Ed's house.

"Eddy, I thought we were going to take the van," Edd ran, trying to keep up with Eddy.

"To go to Ed's house? It's only a couple of houses away," Eddy kept walking while Edd struggled to keep up with Eddy's pace. The house Ed lived in with his parents and his sister his whole life was apple green with a rock pond in the backyard. Sarah was viewing fashion magazines with her friend Jimmy on a couple of lawn chairs. The redhead peered over the magazine to sneer at the sight of Eddy. Ever since the three Eds became more accepted by the other kids of the Cul de Sac, Sarah had treated Edd and her own brother better. However, she still despised Eddy. The feeling was mutual. "What do you want, Fathead!" Sarah screamed at Eddy.

"I'm here to get Ed," Eddy gritted his teeth, resisting the urge to yell at Sarah, "So where is he?"

"Ed went out, you stupid fuck." Sarah had a smug grin on her face, "he went to go see his three girlfriends and he won't be back until after sundown."

"Girlfriend?" Edd asked her incredulously.

"Three of them?" Eddy asked just as shocked as the other teen was.

"Yeah, he has three girlfriends now," Sarah smirked, "Do you?"

"Of course I do, you twerp," Eddy lied.

"You're such a liar," Sarah taunted, "I bet you're a virgin too!"

Jimmy giggled, "Leave the virgin baby alone, Sarah. It's not his fault girls are not attracted to cheapskates who wear cheap cologne and shampoo." The two prepubescent children laughed coldly.

Edd choose to remain quiet. Anything that he would've said to Sarah would've put Ed or them into the danger zone. He noticed that Eddy was trying to keep his cool as well. He had gotten better at his temper since he was 12, but he still blew up on Sarah on occasions. Eddy snorted and turned around to head back to his house with Edd trailing behind him. "That fucking spoiled bitch!" Eddy muttered. "Her and her little ass-kisser boyfriend get on my last fucking nerve!"

A decrepit Camaro was parked outside of Eddy's house next to Eddy's purple van. _"Oh no," _Edd thought, _"Hopefully that's not his car!" _ Sure enough, a figure came out of the car a second later. A grin revealing a gold tooth greeted them. The person still wore the same red plaid shirt, brown cap, and gray jeans that he had seen the man in when Edd had first him. The only thing that had changed was that the person didn't have their sunglasses and his bright yellow jersey. Instead, the man wore a plain black sleeveless shirt. The man also had a beer in his hand. The devil had come to the Cul-de-Sac.

* * *

Author's Note: I've actually been an off-and-on Ed, Edd, and Eddy fan since I was a child. I got the idea for this fanfiction from watching the Ed, Edd, and Eddy movie and viewing fan art. Please rate and review. I would like to hear how you guys enjoyed the story so far. Also to people who liked my Hetalia fanfic, I haven't abandoned `Badge of Dishonor,' just hang tight for an update on that story.


	2. Almost Men

Edd and Eddy walked hesitantly towards the driveway, neither one of them saying a word. Eddy's brother watched them in amusement. Edd felt like a gazelle looking at an Arabian wolf. Eddy's brother smiled a terrifying smile that reminded him of the way the Grinch grinned. Even though Edd was almost a man, Eddy's brother still terrified him.

"Hiya bro!" Eddy faked a grin as he spoke to his brother. Edd knew that Eddy was still terrified of his own brother, but tried so hard to hide the fact. What a paradox it was. Eddy loved his own brother, but was terrified of his brother's wrath.

"Hey Pipsqueak," Matthew greeted, "are you and your girlfriend just going to stand there or are you going to help me move my shit in?" Edd was miffed by the girlfriend comment. Did he really look like a girl to the man?

"In a minute," Eddy replied and walked towards him, "so what happened for you to be moving back here?"

"I got fired from Mondo A-Go Go," Matthew replied bitterly, "Some bitch turned me in for beating up her kid. It's not my fault she raised her kid to be such a whiny snot-nosed prick. My days of making cotton candy for ankle-biters are over!"

"Charming," Edd muttered sarcastically. There is nothing more horrid to Edd than a man who thinks nothing of beating a child at a carnival. The shocking thing was that Matthew worked at that carnival for so many years without getting fired, possibly turning other kids into his own personal punching bags while on the job.

"So the sockhead princess finally speaks," Matthew grinned at Edd. "Why don't you come closer and be more social. I don't bite unless you want me to."

"Ha ha," Edd rolled his eyes, moving closer to Matthew and Eddy.

"So, bro," Eddy continued the previous conversation, "what are you planning on doing next?"

"Well, I'm either planning on becoming a street pharmacist or something like that. I haven't thought too far ahead."

"I'm sure whatever you pick would be wonderful career for a law abiding citizen such as yourself," It seemed that sarcasm was quickly becoming a third language to Edd whenever Eddy's brother opened his mouth.

Matthew just laughed, "I can see why you're still with him, Pipsqueak. Your girlfriend still has spunk after all of these years. So, have you fucked him yet?"

Edd turned bright pink and Eddy's jaw dropped at his brother's inappropriate question. "Very funny, Bro. Double D's my best friend. We're not like that."

Eddy's brother chuckled, "Sure you're not. I'm sure that putting on mom's clothes and high heels was also just for fun, right?"

"I only did that a couple of scams. It's not like I enjoy wearing women's clothing!" Eddy's face was turning the same color as his brother's plaid shirt. It seemed that Eddy's brother still got a sadistic thrill out of humiliating Eddy. If Edd didn't do anything, there probably would've been a fight on Eddy's front lawn between two brothers. The lanky teen was surprised by Eddy's amount of self control so far. Eddy had always been short-fused and blew up whenever things didn't go according to what he had planned. It must have taken a certain amount of self restraint for Eddy not to blow up from having his sexual prowess, or lack thereof, questioned by Sarah and Jimmy and his masculinity challenged by his own brother.

Edd stepped between the brothers before things got a chance to escalate, "hey Eddy, let's start moving your brother's stuff in."

"Okay Double D," Eddy agreed, his face slowly turning back to his normal shade, "let's get cracking."

Before either one of them could open one of the car doors, Matthew loudly cleared his throat to get their attention. "Wait just a second, Pipsqueak. I don't want my shit getting broke and Sockhead Princess here looks like he can barely lift up a teddy bear. Why don't you get the stuff and I'll find a couple of things to keep your girlfriend busy with."

"Okay," Eddy replied, starting to get an armful of his brother's clothes. Edd had never seen Eddy so subservient to anybody before.

Edd frowned, "I'll have you know that I carry a box quite adequately."

"You look like the type of guy that is very neat and clean," The older man commented, completely ignoring Edd's insistence that he was not as weak as the man claimed.

"Why, yes. I do pride myself at cleanliness." One of the things Edd could keep humble about was his preference for keeping everything neat. In fact, the mere sight of filth or dirt was enough to drive him insane.

"Good," Matthew flopped down on the armchair and finished off his beer, "you can fix me lunch and none of that rabbit food either. When you're done with that, I got another thing for you to do."

"And if I refuse?" Edd crossed his arms defiantly. He was not sure if he had a death wish, but he was not going to let Matthew treat Eddy and him like slaves. He gulped loudly when the man yanked him by the wrists.

Their noses almost touched. The nauseating scent of beer, cologne, and cigarettes filled Edd's nose. His slim wrists started to hurt in the man's grip. "Listen, Sockhead," Matthew hissed as Edd's legs started to shake, "if you don't follow my orders, I'll have you something far worse."

Edd shuddered and pulled himself away from the man, "does hamburger and fries seem alright to you?" He did not know what Matthew meant by him doing something far worse than what he was already doing, but he was content at never finding out.

"That sounds perfect," Matthew grinned, satisfied with Edd's compliance, "No cheese though, I'm lactose intolerant. Also, I like my burger burnt." Edd nodded quietly and headed into the kitchen to feed the new discourteous house member.

Eddy came back in carrying a large cardboard box. "Jesus, what the fuck do you have inside of this? It weighs a ton!" Eddy asked, leaning against the wall to rest for a bit.

"Your girlfriend's dildo," The man replied, "if you even dare to look inside that box, I'll cut your hand off. Capisce?"

"Yeah, I heard ya." Eddy mumbled, carrying the box into his brother's room.

Edd adjusted the fire on the stove, careful not to burn the pan. He also got the fryer going and waited for it to warm up. While he cooked the fries and hamburger, Eddy continued to carry stuff in. Eddy politely declined Edd's offer to cook him lunch. At least one of the brothers was considerate of others. Well, Eddy was considerate of him and Ed when he was not trying to scam the neighborhood. He cherished his friendship with Ed and Eddy. The two were always there for him when he first moved to Peach Creek. He did not dare to ruin his friendship with Eddy over his own traitorous hormones. So he kept his crush on his best friend a secret from him.

Eddy already disappeared to his room when Edd finally got Matthew's food cooked. Edd put only ketchup on Eddy's brother's hamburger and didn't put anything on the fries. He carried the food to the man on a Styrofoam plate.

"Well, what do you know," Matthew took the plate from Edd, "Pipsqueak's girlfriend knows his way around the kitchen too.

"It's just a hamburger and fries," Edd shrugged, gritting his teeth at the `girlfriend' comment.

"Well, most of guys I knew at Mondo A-Go Go who didn't work at the food stands fixed themselves Hot Pockets and Ramen noodles every day," Matthew took a bite out of one of the fries. "Your food even tastes as good as it smells. Your next task is just to sit next to me. I was going to have you clean my shoes while I ate, but I decided to have you sit with me since you did a great job at cooking." He scooted over and patted the spot next to him. Edd hesitantly sat next to the man on the armchair. The armchair in Eddy's sitting room, if one could even call it that, was large enough to fit two people comfortably. To Edd's discomfort, the man also put his arm around his shoulders. He clenched his jaw to prevent himself from telling the man to give him back his personal space.

"Why thank you," He figured that trying to have a civilized conversation with Matthew couldn't hurt, "so how old are you?"

"I'm 24 years old," The man replied. That meant that Matthew was 20 years old when Edd had first met him. "I suppose you're the same age as Pipsqueak."

"Eddy and I are the same age with a few months difference between us. How long did you work at Mondo A-Go Go?"

"I worked there for five miserable years," Matthew said sourly, "I can't stand kids and I only took the job to get away from Dad."

Edd made a mental note to ask Eddy for more details on the estrangement between Matthew and his father later. "Maybe you can get a job at your father's used automobile business."

"Hell no." Matthew frowned.

"Eddy's been working there on weekends for a month now and he seems to enjoy working there," Edd smiled proudly at Eddy's ability to earn money legitimately without resorting to scams. "He enjoys the money that he earns every mouth."

"What? Oh fuck no!" Matthew then yelled out towards the direction of Eddy's room, "Pipsqueak! Get your ass in here!"

Eddy quickly scurried into the living room, not having time to react to the sight of his own brother putting his arm around one of his best friends, "what's wrong, bro?"

"Everything is wrong, Eddy Skipper McGee," Eddy flinched at his brother using his full name; "you and your girlfriend here are fucking goody two-shoes. You two might as well join those Urban Ranger ankle-biting faggots. I thought I taught you better than this. You're working with dad? That self-centered son-of-a-bitch?!" Matthew shoved his plate onto the walnut side table. He quickly reached over Edd and grabbed the cigarettes on the table that most likely belonged to Eddy's parents.

Edd and Eddy stared at the man, shell-shocked. Guilt overwhelmed his thoughts. He had unwilling thrown Eddy to the Big Bad Wolf without meaning to. Edd might have been an only child, but he knew that most brothers would've been proud of the fact that their sibling had become part of the workforce, but not Eddy's brother. After lighting up the cigarette and inhaling the thick smoke, the man seemed to relax. Edd tried to get up, but the man still had a tight grip on his shoulder. "Alright, I'm calm. I'm calm. I've been away for a while and shit. Don't worry, Pipsqueak. Your big bro is here now and I'll get you on the right track that definitely does not involve working for that old douche."

"Oh Matthew, what is the right track that you believe is best for us and how are you going to get us on that path?" Edd asked quietly, not wanting to anger Matthew.

"I'm glad you asked that, Sockhead. You two have been sheltered away from experiencing the freedom adults can enjoy. You know what I'm talking about. Shit like getting tattoos and sneaking into bars. I was doing that shit at your age and it was some of the best times I've had as a teen."

"I'm game for that," Eddy declared, enthusiastically. He was always eager to have the same freedom as an adult. Edd decided that he would talk to Eddy later when his brother was out of earshot about the possible consequences that could come out of what his brother was suggesting. He already had a headache thinking about the endless consequences that would result from going to adult venues and partaking in same vices as adults do. Even though he would be eighteen in two years and was almost a man, he was unsure if he or Eddy was ready for that type of freedom.


	3. Dinner with a bro

Eddy's parents arrived back with the rest of Matthew's stuff. He was given the task of wiping everything down while Eddy had to lift parts of a waterbed and help his dad lift a dresser and various other items into his brother's room. Eddy laid down on his own bed from the exhaustion from having to move his brother back in, "I was thinking, Double D."

"Yes, Eddy?" Edd sat in the white and purple ball chair across from Eddy's bed. Once Eddy had a pink polka-dotted chair where the ball chair was, but Ed broke the chair by accident two years previously. Eddy blew his top at Ed over it and Ed frantically trying to beg Eddy for mercy. Eddy calmed down after a few minutes when he seen Ed crying that Eddy's "dark side" scared him. Edd had to admit, the ball chair does fit the retro theme of Eddy's room.

"I was thinking that we could get some extra cash selling booze to the other kids in the neighborhood," Eddy was already formulating how he would be able to pull off the sales without getting caught.

"Eddy, reselling alcohol to other minors is illegal and would tarnish our good reputation." Edd walked over to his friend and laid next to him, taking his hand between both of his to plead with stockier teen, "please reconsider your brother's proposition, Eddy. You have your whole future ahead of you. You're going to be a great business major, Eddy."

"Gee, thanks mom." Eddy rolled his eyes, "there's still nothing you can do to change my mind though. So, quit being a killjoy already. I've got plenty of places to do and see before we graduate. It's not like I'm forcing you to come along with me."

"No, but your brother is," Edd sighed, "even if he wasn't, I couldn't just leave you alone while you willingly throw yourself into the lion den."

Eddy had no idea how to respond to that. He and Edd were called to the dinner table. His friend's words repeated over and over again in his head while he walked wordlessly to the kitchen table. Edd would stick by his side even if he believed what Eddy did was foolish? _`Why would Sockhead do that? Why does Ed do it? Why have they been by my side for so long? What's in it for them?' _Eddy's thoughts were interrupted by his mother's command for him to sit at the table. Edd sat next to him and Matthew sat at the other end of Edd away from his parents. The savory smell of his mother's homemade calzone tempted Eddy's nose and he took a bite of the meal.

He looked around his family members and Edd. Edd was quietly taking small bites of calzone into his mouth and chewing them slowly. His dad was eating quickly, shooting glares at his brother. Eddy turned to his brother, surprised that the man was not eating. Instead the man was also shooting the patriarch of the house dirty looks and turning towards Edd and giving the teen a look that Eddy couldn't read. Was his own brother planning on scamming his best friend? Eddy's mother was in the same position as Eddy was; looking between his father and his brother and hoping that the two didn't start an argument.

"Shouldn't Sockhead be eating with his folks?" Matthew questioned Eddy and their mother.

"Who's Sock- oh!" Eddy's mother put down the fork for a bit and wiped her mouth with a napkin, "Eddward's parents went missing six months ago and he's been staying with us until his parents are found."

"Whose room has Eddy's little girlfriend been sleeping in?" Eddy's groaned at the "girlfriend" comment and Eddy's father didn't look very pleased.

"He's been sleeping in Eddy's room on his bed," Mrs. McGee answered.

Eddy's brother burst out laughing, causing the rest of the table just to stare at him "is that so? Well -"

"If you're going to turn this conversation into an inappropriate one, you can just take your plate and leave to your room!" Eddy's father barked, a vein bulging out of his forehead.

"You want an appropriate conversation, old man?" Matthew snarled, "okay, you old fuck, you're about to get one. I didn't tell ya this, but tonight seems like a good night to break the news to you. You're a piece of shit dad!"

"What did you call me?!" Eddy's father yelled.

Eddy's mother had quickly shooed Edd and Eddy out of the kitchen with their plates and instructed them to eat in Eddy's room. She didn't want them in the middle of an argument between Matthew and his own father. Eddy led Edd into a spacious broom closet when his mother wasn't looking andwatched the scene with concern.

Matthew grinned cruelly, "You need your ears cleaned out, you old prick? You're a piece of shit dad! There! Let's talk about that for a few minutes. Let's talk about how you kicked me out of the house when I was Pipsqueak's age. That would be a great place to talk about what kind of parent you actually are!"

Eddy's father grabbed Matthew by the front of his shirt, about to push him into the wall when Eddy's mother stepped between them, "Matthew! Honey! Stop it!" She turned to her husband. "Please, dear! Your health isn't what it used to be. We both agreed that Matthew should stay here until he gets a place of his own. Please just try to be civil with him."

"No Margaret! You agreed to have him stay in our house," Eddy's father started stomping away from the kitchen, "I'll be eating in our bedroom if you need me."

"You go do that," Matthew snapped. He noticed his mother shakily reaching into the pocket of her dress and pulled out a cigarette. Matthew took a lighter out from his gray jeans and lit the cigarette for his mom, "take it easy tonight, Mom." He patted his mom on the shoulder before going into his own room. Edd and Eddy crept into his room without being noticed.

The next few hours went by quickly. Neither of the teens spoke about the hostility between Eddy's father and his brother. Eddy sat on his bed reading his "Jiggy Uncensored" magazine while Edd read an encyclopedia on diseases. Edd excused himself from the room for a bit, not mentioning much else about where he was planning on going.

Edd gently rapped at the wooden door of his destination. Loud rock music had played from behind the door. The room was in the upper level of the house as it always had been. A gruff voice answered from behind the door, "Come In." The music was shut off a second before Edd opened the door. The room had looked a bit different from when he last viewed it back when he was just twelve. The walls of the room were the same color with light gray carpeting and a black throw rug in the middle of the room. The room still had the odd decorations such as the large stuffed camel, the harp, and the robotic arms on the wall. However the room did contain some changes. In spot where the car that Ed, Eddy and him destroyed when they were only twelve years old used to be was a large king-sized waterbed with plain black blankets. A stereo system and the large box Eddy was threatened over stood in front of the bricked off window. A nightstand with a red lava lamp stood in place of the bed that folded up into a refrigerator. Other than that, the room was just about the same as he remembered it.

The owner of the room laid on the waterbed in just his boxers. Edd pulled his sockhat over his face, a deep red blush formed on his cheeks. "Please make yourself decent! I have something imperative that I need to talk to you about."

"My room, my rules, girlfriend!" Matthew leaned back against the metal headboard of the bed, smirking.

"Ugh!" Edd pulled his sockhat away from his eyes and tried to only focus on the man from the neck up. "L-look here! Eddy has a promising future ahead of him. He doesn't need any immoral distractions to get in the way of that. Please, let Eddy become an adult first before you have that type of brotherly bonding."

"Too bad, Sockhead Princess," Matthew smirked, "I'm not changing my plans for showing you and Eddy around the fun parts of this dump of a town. Though, I have a couple of questions to ask you since you like to stick your nose into my business."

"I was not prying into your personal affairs," Edd huffed, "what do you want to question me about?"

"Well, the first thing I want to know about is whose kid you are. You can't be this much of a pain in the ass without learning it from some bitch. So which one of these cul-de-sac housewives is your bitch mom? I doubt that one of the trailer trash cunts from Park n' Flush is your mom."

Edd folded his arms, "my sweet, adoring parents are Sam and Marian!"

"Marian, huh?" Eddy's brother rubbed his goatee, trying to place the name with a face, "oh yeah, I remember that dark-haired, stuck up bitch. Mrs. Doctor Bitch thought she could bitch at me for smoking whenever she came to my house for coffee. I let it slide though. She was one of the women I peeked in on when I was twelve. I peeked in on her changing quite a few times until her douche husband caught me outside of their bedroom window. I also peeked in on this Aurora cunt a couple of times too. This was before I started sneaking porn into my room." Eddy's brother smirked at the teen again, "in fact, you do look a lot like your mom!"

"You invaded the privacy of my mother and Ed's mother?" Edd asked, aghast. The only Aurora in the entire cul-de-sac was Ed's mom. "You're appalling! You're an absolute lecher! My mother is not some object for you to gawk at!"

"I can look at whatever bitch I want to look at," Matthew replied. Edd could only purse his lips tightly to prevent himself from saying anything else to the man. "I got another question for you, Sockhead. What's under your hat?"

"It's none of your – desist!" Edd felt a hand try to reach for his hat but quickly dodged it. He tried to run towards the door, but Matthew gripped his bony wrists to prevent him from getting very far. He was pushed to the floor and was pinned down. He tried to fight against Matthew, but the feeling of breeze upon his head stopped him dead in his tracks. The bobbing pins that held his hair into place fell to the ground. Matthew had gotten Edd's hat off without very much effort.

"So that's what you keep under there," Matthew traced the scar tissue on the right side of Edd's head. The two inch long scar tissue had left a bald patch on the side of the teen's head that was never able to grow back. He felt like a specimen that was getting prodded and gawked at. Matthew wouldn't stop staring at him. Edd couldn't stand to be stared at like that. That was the main reason why he wore the sockhat in the first place. Once Matthew released him from his hold, the embarrassed teen bolted out of the room, not caring if he left his hat in that man's room.

Once he got back into Eddy's room, the other teen was already in bed asleep. Edd grabbed another sockhat that was in his clothes and pulled his protective barrier against hurtful stares over his head. He changed into a pair of pajama pants and a loose t-shirt and slipped under the covers next to Eddy. He watched Eddy sleeping peacefully next to him. He could tell that Eddy was in the midst of REM sleep. He resisted the urge to take Eddy's hand into his hand as he resisted the urge every night when he shared Eddy's bed. The only difference being that night, the urge was stronger from everything that happened that day. He felt his eyelids grow heavy and fell asleep a minute later.


	4. Pandora's Box

The following day went better than Edd had hoped. Matthew had left around 9 am that morning and told his parents that he would be at the bar. If Edd's own calculations were correct, Matthew would be back between 5 pm and 1 am, depending on what type of alcohol he consumed and how much alcohol the man consumed at the bar. Eddy's parents had to travel out of state due to an emergency. The couple was pretty vague over what the emergency was about, other than the fact that they received a phone call at four in the morning. Edd found it odd that the couple had to leave on such short notice, but he was used to something like that from his own parents.

Eddy and Edd had the day to themselves. Being the Marlon Brando fan that he is, Eddy decided that watching the Godfather would be a great way to pass the time. While Edd found the movie to be a high quality masterpiece, he could've done without seeing the scene with the decapitated bloody horse head in the bed. Eddy also did a pretty spot-on Marlon Brando impersonation during certain scenes in the movie.

After the movie was over, Edd and Eddy went to look for Ed. Once again, it was the same story. Ed went over to his girlfriends' house and would not be back until sunset. As expected, Eddy yelled out his frustration over Ed "choosing pussy" over them and went on a tirade over the situation. Eddy's voice was loud enough to damage someone's eardrum or possibly even enough to shatter a window. Then again, that was nothing new. Eddy's voice had been deafening ever since Edd first met him. Edd tried to placate Eddy before one of their neighbors turned in another noise compliant on Eddy.

That was something that had happened before. Of course, being the hothead that he is, Eddy exacerbated the situation by yelling even louder at the various houses on the block, in front of the police officer that was questioning him nonetheless, "Oh, I'm being too loud for this cul-de-sac of suckers, huh? How's this for loud!" Eddy spent a day at the Peach Creek juvenile detention center for disturbing the peace.

The rest of the evening was spent eating dinner and watching reruns of Tales of the Crypt on one of the TV channels. The show was one of Ed's favorites. Eddy hated to admit it, but things were kind of dull without Ed around to destroy something or to talk his ear off about some nonsensical B-rated horror flick.

At the end of the day, the two both took their showers and fell asleep. Edd was awoken to the sound of tires screeching near the house. Edd dismissed the sound to drag racers, which was a common occurrence in the cul-de-sac during the spring and summer seasons. He dosed off and was awoken the second time that night to the weight of someone's arm pressed against the middle of his spine and to Eddy screaming, "Hey Monobrow, go sleep on the couch!"

One whiff of the person that was squishing them revealed that the person was not Ed. The person wore cologne and reeked of alcohol. "Ed-Eddy, that's not Ed." Edd quickly got rolled off of the bed. Eddy rolled over onto the floor a second later. The room was too dark to make out the person's facial features. Edd picked up Jim and defensively pointed it at the sleeping person. Eddy went towards his pole lamp and pulled on the switch. The sudden light in the room blinded the two for a second, but they were able to see who the intruder was. "It was just my brother!"

Edd sat down his cactus and sighed a breath of relief, "well, that's a relief! I was almost certain that an intruder had broken into your home and was planning on bidding and gagging us."

"I'm going to bid and gag you if you don't shut up for five seconds!" Eddy replied, sourly, "Matthew rode here drunk and that would mean – the van!" Eddy ran outside to check on his van. Edd ran behind Eddy to assess the damage that Matthew might have caused during his drive home. The purple van that was out front was untouched much to Eddy's relief. However, the lawn and back fence was completely destroyed.

"It appears that while your brother was driving home intoxicated, he driven through the Lane haphazardly until he reached his destination." Edd was examining the scene.

"Hey Einstein, I can tell that just from looking at my backyard!" Eddy examined his backyard, already thinking about how much hell his parents were going to raise over it. "It's a wonder how he wasn't pulled over by the cops. Thank god the van was parked out front."

"Eddy, we may need to rest inside the van tonight," Edd yawned, "your brother is most likely going to remain in a drunken stupor for the rest of the evening."

"Like hell we are!" Eddy retorted.

"Eddy, where are we supposed to sleep?"

"That's simple; we'll just sleep in my brother's bed." Eddy led Double D back into his room. Eddy grabbed the half gallon bottle of vodka that was in his brother's hand. "-And this would cover the amount of work us two would have to put in the yard before my parents get home."

"That's actually pretty reasonable of you. May I do you the honors of dumping that poison down the sink where it belongs?"

Any hope that Edd had of Eddy being the more responsible sibling was quickly dashed, "Are you nuts? We're going to split this bad boy!" Eddy lifted up the bottle, to show Edd how much alcohol still was in the bottle. Eddy's brother had already drunk half of the bottle.

"Eddy! I doubt either one of us are capable of meeting even a tenth of your brother's alcohol tolerance. Even so, it's against the law for us to drink before our 21st birthday!" Edd tried to explain.

"So?" Eddy led Edd to his brother's room, "we'll both be fine! I won't let anything bad happen to you. Besides, our parents have been drinking this stuff on New Year's Eve for years. C'mon, Double D! It wouldn't be fun if I drank this stuff alone."

"Resorting to peer pressure, Eddy?" Edd asked with a bit of humor in his voice. Double D stepped into Matthew's room with Eddy following close behind him. Edd sat on the waterbed and watched Eddy sit the vodka bottle down on the nightstand.

"Did I convince you to drink with me yet?" Eddy asked, flashing a cocksure smirk.

"I suppose you did," Edd admitted in defeat. Edd could not shake the feeling that he had lost something else in the room the night before besides his hat, but he could not place his finger on what it was that he lost.

Eddy searched the room, "my bro's shot glasses have to be around here somewhere." Eddy searched around the room and started to search the box that his brother threatened him over. Edd glanced around for a different item; his hat. He saw no trace of the hat that Eddy's brother stole from him.

"Eddy, Matthew threatened you over that box," Edd warned.

"He won't find out," Eddy began to open the box. Edd imagined that this was how the legend of Pandora's jar played out. Pandora looked at the jar with extreme fascination, hardly concealing her inquisitiveness while whoever was there to witness the event watched in trepidation of what might happen after the jar was opened. He tried to once again to tell Eddy that opening the box would be a bad idea, but the larger teen brushed him off.

He had a strange feeling that whatever was in that box would have some kind of consequences. Eddy's brother wanted to keep whatever contents in the box a secret from them and anyone else. Edd's mind started racing at the thought of what Matthew could be trying to hide. Could that box contain drugs that Matthew briefly mentioned that he was thinking about selling? More macabre thoughts filled his imagination of Eddy's brother killing a kid at Mondo A-Go Go and stuffing their body into the box. _`Oh, you should be ashamed of yourself! That's completely irrational, Eddward!'_ He chastised himself.

Edd stopped Eddy from opening the box again by telling him what happened the night before. He spared Eddy no detail of Matthew telling him about his voyeuristic habits toward Ed's mother and his mother and about the man pinning him down and stealing his hat. Eddy only nodded as he took the information in. "He's probably just pulling your leg," Eddy dismissed what Edd told him and opened the box while Edd yanked down the sides of his hat, a nervous habit he had since he was a small child. "Jackpot!" Eddy yelled enthusiastically.

Inside of the box were pornographic magazines and movies. Eddy began taking out the magazines. Edd pulled a pair of rubber gloves out and dug through the contents of the box. There were plenty of items that Edd didn't want to think about what their exact purpose was. His eyes fell upon a set of shot glasses, "I found those glasses you were looking for." Eddy was engrossed in one of the "Tattooed Babes" magazines. Edd dug a bit and pulled out three hospital certificates that look like copies of birth certificates. He dug through the rest of the box, not finding much else of interest to him.

Edd opened one of the birth certificates. "E-Eddy! Come look at this."

Eddy put down the magazine he was reading and crouched down near Edd. "What'cha got there?"

Edd smiled at Eddy warmly and showed him, "you're an uncle, Eddy!" Edd gave him the birth certificate and read the next one. Eddy looked over the birth certificate of `Bonnie Michelle McGee.' Eddy started to tear up. The thought of being an uncle and teaching his best tricks to scam anyone out of their money to the little girl that would be five years old filled him with overwhelming emotion. He didn't even know the little girl yet but he already wanted to get to know her more.

"Are you crying, Eddy?" Edd asked, peering over the birth certificate at him.

"No, Sockhat!" Eddy lied, "I just have something in my eye." Eddy rubbed his eyes and read more of the birth certificate. The mother of Bonnie was five years younger than Matthew. Edd handed Eddy the birth certificate of `Danielle Antoinette McGee.' Danielle was also five years old. Danielle was another case of Matthew knocking up someone that he possibly was not married to, except the mother in this case was 10 years older than Matthew was. The last birth certificate was for an 'Edna Rachael McGee.' "Another Ed," Eddy mused. Unlike the previous two, Edna's mother was almost the same age as Matthew and the little girl was only three years old.

"Congratulations Eddy!" Edd patted Eddy's shoulder, "I'm sure you're going to be a great uncle to these young girls."

"Yeah, I am about to. Aren't I?" Eddy tried to keep himself from tearing up again. He was hoping that his brother wouldn't be a dick and actually arrange for the girls to meet the family. However, Eddy couldn't easily see that happening. "I think this is worth a celebration, don't you?"

"Sure, Uncle Eddy!" Edd snickered, getting a wet rag from the kitchen to wipe the shot glasses with. Once the shot glasses were wiped down, Edd poured vodka for him and Eddy, knowing that he would regret this night in the morning. Eddy was still snooping through his brother's magazines, abandoning the `Tattoo Babes' magazine in the pile.

"What is this?" Edd leaned over Eddy and seen what appeared to be a picture of two men engaged in a sexual act on the magazine.

"It's called a homosexual pornographic magazine, Eddy." Edd replied, sarcastically.

"I knew that, smartass!" Eddy snapped, "What's a whole stack of them doing in my brother's stuff? He's not gay."

"Eddy, denial is usually the first step to acceptance," Edd explained, "people view pornography of what tantalizes their sexual arousal. I doubt your brother would have that many gay magazines for the sake of sophomoric humor. I know it may be hard to accept that a member of your family is gay or in Matthew's case, bisexual, but-"

"I don't have a problem with gay people," Eddy replied, "it's just that my brother would've told me if he was."

"There are a lot of things that your brother has kept you in the dark about."

"Tch, whatever," Eddy brushed the magazines off of the bed, "are we going to start drinking or what? I don't wanna wait until I'm a hundred to have my first drink."

"Patience, Eddy." Edd handled Eddy a shot glass and held his own. Both shot glasses contained a hologram of a laughing skull. "A fitting touch to disregarding my own good health, I suppose." Edd observed Eddy greedily swallowed the clear liquid with great difficulty. Edd followed suit and poured the vodka into his own mouth. The strong taste of alcohol overwhelmed his taste buds and burned his throat as Edd swallowed the bitter liquid down. If Edd had to imagine what poison probably tasted like, he would imagine that it would've tasted like the bitter liquid he just consumed. "That tasted awful!"

"No kidding," Eddy replied, "I'm starting to feel it though."

"I'm starting to feel the side effects from the alcohol as well," Edd admitted. The books he read on the subject of alcohol all point to the social effects of alcohol which is the main reason for drug's popularity. Edd started to feel more relaxed and social. After a few more shots, Edd felt his inhibitions started to lower. The room felt too hot for the skinnier teen, so he removed his own shirt without the least bit of modesty, something that he would not have done sober. Eddy also sung a drunken impromptu version of Iron Butterfly's `In a Gadda Da Vida.' That song was one of the few songs someone can sing completely drunk and still sound like they're singing the song correctly.

Eddy and Edd spent almost an hour, chatting like they haven't seen each other for years. The teens didn't care if they would remember the conversations when the morning came. They dissolved into laughter, took more shots of alcohol, and even busted out some random dance moves – which ended in them slipping on some magazines and falling. They laughed as both of them failed to even lift themselves up off the ground without falling. This must be what Ed feels like on a daily basis.

Edd found him leaning over Eddy as another attempt to stand up had failed. Edd's hormones and intoxicated state took over any rational thought that kissing his best friend while he was drunk would a bad idea. He brushed his lips against Eddy's chapped ones. His heart fluttered at the contact with the other teen. Kissing him felt so wrong, but felt so right at the same time. The other teen didn't protest against the action and rested his hand against Edd's cheek.

After a minute, Edd withdrew his lips from Eddy's. "We probably should try to get up and try to get some sleep where it's more comfortable." Eddy nodded. They were finally able get themselves up off of the floor. Eddy wrapped his arm around his friend's waist, walking the other towards the bed. Once they both got to the bed, they flopped down on the mattress drunkenly and passed out.

* * *

A/N: If you look closely enough at the names of Eddy's three nieces, you'll realize that the names of the girls (except for Edna's first name) come from the names of the staff members of the show. Also, the idea that Eddy would be a proud, doting uncle comes from the `Ed in a Halfshell' episode.


	5. Of Friends and Secrets

To say that Edd woke up feeling like shit would be putting it mildly. His head was pounding and all he wanted to do was stay in bed all day. The smell of alcohol and sweat clung to his body. "I'm never drinking that foul beverage again!" Edd whined as he pulled the pillow over his head. Memories of the night before slowly came back to him. Memories of how much damage Eddy's brother had done to the backyard, the drunken man stealing Eddy's bed, the things they found out about Eddy's brother, and Edd kissing Eddy before they had passed out.

Edd groaned quietly to himself. _`I'm such a nincompoop for agreeing to drink with Eddy! He may not have anything against homosexuals, but I took advantage of him when we were both intoxicated. What's he going to think of me now? That I'm some kind of twisted pervert?' _Edd brushed his fingertips against his own lips, remembering how Eddy's lips against his own. His blush was a deep crimson red. He slowly started to get up, hoping to avoid Eddy for at least a couple of hours before they had to fix up the yard.

A cough broke Edd out of his train of thought. He looked across the room at the source of the noise. Matthew leaned against the stuffed camel, apparently was waiting for the two to wake up. The sight of the man struck terror into the heart of the teen. The room was trashed due to Eddy carelessly throwing his brother's stuff around. Matthew's personal magazines and the birth certificates of his daughters were scattered at various parts of the room. Eddy had also stolen his brother's vodka bottle while he, himself, not only encouraged Eddy to take it and dump it out, but also consumed as much of it as Eddy did. Edd hoped that he and Eddy could at least walk away from the situation with most of their teeth intact.

"So, Girlfriend," The man finally spoke, waltzing toward Edd, "How did you and Pipsqueak enjoy your first taste of alcohol? Don't try to deny it." He sat on the bed next to him. "I can smell it on both you and Pipsqueak."

Edd let out a yelp when Matthew sat on the bed, "it won't happen again! I'll make sure of it. My sentiments from the first time I met you still stand. You need to start acting like an older sibling to Eddy."

Matthew seemed unfazed by his bluntness, "I still stand about what I said about you too. You still have spunk. Challenging me is pretty cute of you, but you probably won't like the consequences if you do it too much. –Or maybe you might." Matthew jabs Edd in the chest, tauntingly. "I already know a couple of your secrets already. I'm not talking about that scar on your head either!"

"Preposterous! I do not possess any secrets," Edd lied and slapped Matthew's hand away, "Mind my personal space, you –"

"Hey, some of us were sleeping over here!" Eddy shouted irritably. Edd could tell that Eddy was as hung over as he was. Eddy was clutching his own stomach, moaning in pain

Edd turned to his friend, smiling pleasantly, "Morning Eddy." Edd put on the façade that nothing was wrong, but he was frightened of Eddy's reaction to the kiss they shared last night.

"What the hell did we do last night?" Eddy asked, "I barely remember anything after I took a shot."

"You don't remember anything?" Edd asked nervously. One side of him was relieved that Eddy forgotten the kiss they shared, but another part of him was disappointed that Eddy had forgotten. "Well, Eddy. I estimated that we probably consumed about one liter of vodka between us. Other than that, you crooned the lyrics to an Iron Butterfly song and we had lively conversation, but my memory is a bit hazy of what we discussed."

"So, in other words, last night kinda ruled!" Eddy had a satisfied look of his face. He turned and glared at his brother, "oh yeah, before I forget; Thanks for telling me that I have three nieces, dickhead!"

"Go pop a Midol, Pipsqueak! I was going to tell you and Mom until Dad started showing his ass at the dinner table," Matthew stated. "Oh yeah, Mom called when you both were asleep. They're heading all the way to the west coast to help the police follow on a lead about Princess' parents."

"My parents? My goodness! Why didn't they say anything to me about it?"

"They probably didn't want to get your hopes up in the case the lead turned out to be false," Eddy sat up, stretching out his limbs. Eddy patted Edd's back to comfort the worried teen. "Mellow out, Sockhead. Your parents are probably fine. They have my parents and the cops searching for them, so let them do their jobs." After a moment of uncomfortable silence, a crash came from the living room. "Who the hell is in my house?"

Eddy quickly got his answer when loud blubbering can be heard from the downstairs. "Take me alien mutants! Eddy! Double D! I'm sorry, guys! I was too busy with my girlfriends to spend time with you guys and now you're getting your bone marrow sipped through a straw." Ed cried choking as fat tears rolled down his face.

Edd and Eddy left the room to get Ed to stop crying, Edd putting his shirt on as they walked through the hallway. They reached the top of the stairs when Eddy yelled down towards him, "Hey Bird-brain! Up here!"

Ed turned towards the sound and his face lit up from seeing the two. The teen dashed towards his friends and crushed them in a tight hug, "I'm in my happy place, guys."

"Ed, could you please let us go," Edd patted Ed's shoulder after a few minutes of receiving a bone-crushing hug from Ed, actually glad to see Ed for the first time in a couple of weeks.

"Yeah, Lumpy! I'm about to pass out from the smell of your stinky pits," Ed let the two go with a big, goofy grin still plastered across his face. "So Casanova, how are you and your three girlfriends doing? Spill the details!"

"Ed, why don't we have a seat in the living room and you can tell us about your courtship and romantic infatuation with these girls," Edd lead Ed into the living room and sat him down on the couch. Edd was also guilty of wanting to find out more about these girls, but unlike Eddy, he just wanted to make sure that the girls were treating Ed well.

"Last night my love dumplings made buttered toast covered in gravy. It was the best gravy that I ever tasted. I felt like the guy from Venusian Paradise who was trapped on another planet and fell in love with the vicious yet misunderstood alien queens," Ed had a lost, dreamy look in his eye. The teen had fallen hard for these girls, whoever they may be.

"His girlfriends are probably three pieces of moldy cheese in his pocket named Sheila, Shelly, and Shelby! Either that or three of Rolf's chickens," Eddy joked.

"Says you!" Ed retorted.

"Prove it, Ed. I don't believe for one second that you got three girls who agreed to go out with you at the same time." Eddy folded his arms, waiting for some kind of proof of Ed's story. He was shocked when Ed removed his dark green vest and his white and red striped tee shirt. Across his chest and shoulder were various hickey marks. Eddy was speechless for a moment, "Gee Ed; I wonder who these three girls are."

"I'm not telling you."

"Why not, Romeo?"

"It's a secret!"

"Gentlemen, let's find an activity to do that has a lower probability of turning into a sexually charged conversation." Edd suggested.

"Oh! I have a videotape in my pocket!" Ed announced, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a nondescript blank VHS tape.

"That's a great idea, Ed," Edd took the videotape, "what's on this videotape, dare I ask."

"It was that one scam where we got jawbreakers at the end." Ed replied.

"Ed, there is only a handful of scams that were that successful, Ed." Edd put the VHS tape in and started flipping to channel three.

"A videotape of one of your successful scams, Pipsqueak?" Matthew sat down on couch on the other side of Eddy.

"Of course, Bro! I made so much money from quite a few scams that I amazed even myself!" Eddy bragged confidently.

Ed cowered in the sight of Matthew and screamed that Matthew was no good for him. Ed quickly grabbed the vacuum cleaner and pointed it in Matthew's face, telling him to leave his friends alone. Matthew stared at the vacuum with a bored expression on his face, not even showing the slightest hint of shock or fear of the terrified teen wielding the vacuum as if it were a sword. Eddy and Edd spent over an hour trying to calm Ed down. Both of them knew that Ed still remembered what happened at Mondo A-Go Go and wanted to protect Eddy and Edd from harm.

Matthew watched as the two consoled the scared teen. It seemed that all three of them were willing to sacrifice themselves for the safety of the other two. He figured he could use that to his own advantage. Especially with the incriminating blackmail that he had on Edd, he had enough to get Edd where he wanted him at least. He just needed to get him alone in order for his plan to work.

"Are you alright now, Monobrow?" When Ed nodded, Eddy helped him up, "Good."

Edd tossed the Kleenex that he used to wipe Ed's eyes and nose with in the garbage. He used hand sanitizer on his hands afterward. He wasn't taking a chance at catching a cold from Ed. Ed got up and pressed play on the VCR. Edd listened as a ten year old Eddy recited the infamous "if you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" Marilyn Monroe quote. The quote somehow suited Eddy's personality quite well.

Edd remembered that scam all too well. Eddy had gotten the idea from eavesdropping on a conversation his parents had. The elder couple had gone on a date to a venue with a popular drag queen entertainer slash celebrity impersonator. Eddy believed that if he charged the kids of the cul-de-sac admission for a drag show, he would be swimming in money. He was half right. Eddy wanted to do a Marilyn Monroe impersonation but gotten stuck with doing `Material Girl' by Madonna when he couldn't find his `Gentlemen Prefer Blondes' record. While Ed and Edd wore a simple Easter tuxedo, Eddy donned a strapless pink dress that was sitting in his attic, his mother's jewelry, red lipstick, and a blonde wig.

The drag show scam was surprising successful. So much so, that the Eds were able to buy a week's worth of jawbreakers. The ridicule which Eddy received, mostly from Kevin and Sarah, the day after the scam had made Eddy swear off doing anymore drag show scams in the future. Edd turned to Eddy to see that the taller teen was beet red over the video. Matthew busting his gut at the scene didn't help relieve Eddy's embarrassment.

"Your greatest scam, huh?" Even though the only adult in the room stopped laughing, his eyes still twinkled with cruel amusement, "it looks to me like you just wanted an excuse to wear Mom's old clothes!"

"I don't wear Mom's clothes!" Eddy turned his attention back to Ed, who was putting the tape back into his vest. Eddy chased him around the living room, "just wait until I get my hands on you!"

Ed laughed as he was getting chased, "hey Eddy, why do you and Double D smell like my grandma today?"

The sight of the two had certain nostalgia to it. The scene was reminiscent of all of the times Eddy chased after Ed when some of their scams failed. Some things never change. No matter how old the Eds got or what life threw at them, their devotion would never change. After a quick shower and a fresh change of clothes, Edd looked around the house for Ed and Eddy.

"Cheesehead and Pipsqueak are working out in the yard," Eddy's brother replied.

"Thank you," The sixteen year old hoped that Ed wasn't causing too much damage in the yard. The only things that needed to be done were to rake the tire track marks on the lawn and to fix the broken fence. "Have you seen the hammer?"

"Yeah, it's upstairs in my room." Matthew gestured Edd to follow him. There was a perfect opportunity for him to execute his plan. He took in every inch of the raven-haired adolescent as he walked behind him to the room. Matthew locked the door behind him as Edd searched the room for a hammer.

Edd searched the whole room for a hammer, hoping that Matthew didn't send him on a wild goose chase like the various `treasure hunt maps' he had given Eddy years ago. He searched the room once again, only to be pushed against the wall. "Excuse you? Why on earth did you do that?"

The man had an unreadable expression on his face. He was always sort of an enigma to Edd. He wasn't sure if the man was genuinely hard to read, as most sociopaths are, or if his own mind didn't want to process the things that could be going through that man's head. The man had trapped him against the wall. Rough hands gripped his narrow hips. He could hear his own heart pounding. Matthew leaned against him and pressed their lips together. The overpowering mixture of sweat, alcohol, and cologne made the teen dizzy. The man's facial hair scratched the sensitive skin of his chin.

Edd emitted a squeak of shock. He didn't give the man any indication that he was romantically attracted to him, did he? The kiss from the man felt immoral and filthy. He had to push the man away. He just had to! He shoved the man off of him and wiped his mouth. He didn't even want to think about what kind of microorganisms that possibly lived inside of the man's mouth. "I apologize, Matthew, but I do not share your feelings."

"Is that so?" Matthew caught his breath, "saving yourself for Pipsqueak?"

"How many times do I need to inform you? Eddy and I do not have a liaison with one another. Get it through your thick skull!" Edd seethed.

Matthew grinned knowingly at him, which made Edd tremble at whatever insidious plans the 24 year old had planned for him. His stomach was already doing somersaults thinking about it. "You want it to happen though, Girlfriend." Matthew turned to his waterbed and opened up one of the under-bed dresser drawers, reaching in to get a large metal box with a combination lock. Matthew grabbed the keychain off the dresser and unlocked the lock with one of the keys. He was too paranoid to give Edd a chance to figure out the combination to the lock.

Edd peered at the metal box. From where he was standing, the sight of his hat, a couple of large rolls of cash, and various other odd trinkets filled the box. His heart stopped when Matthew pulled out a familiar notebook. He had the feeling that Matthew had something else of his besides the hat. Due to the excitement that happened within the last couple of days, it slipped his mind that his journal was in his hat.

"Most of the shit in here was boring science crap, but I found a couple of interesting entries," To Edd's horror, Matthew started reading an entry in a mock impression of him, "_I'm so conflicted over my unchaste desires for Eddy. I have entertained myself with various flights of fancy of us together. This had often led to me defiling myself in masturbation sessions behind my bedroom door. It's as if I've become a slave to my own libidinous desires. I've become a lustful animal." _ Matthew closed the journal, "that was a pretty hot read, Sockhead Princess."

Edd was surprised that Matthew was able to read his writing without missing a beat or grabbing a dictionary. Most other people had trouble reading what they obtusely referred as "big words," but the ex-carnival worker was able to read the passage without a problem. "My private thoughts are not for your amusement. Give me that!" Edd swiped the notebook out of Matthew's hands. He had used the notebook as a way of writing down his confusion over certain matters whether it be life or scientific experiments which proven to be a bust.

"Take it. I have to wonder what Pipsqueak would think about his friend wanting to jump his bones."

"You wouldn't dare!" Edd gasped, indignantly, "Something like that would ruin the bond I have with Eddy. He would never speak to me again!"

"I don't know. Pipsqueak is my brother. As an older sibling, I have the duty to tell him. Though, I'll keep quiet if I'm offered something in return." His tone was quite suggestive.

"You abhorrent demon! You lecherous snake! You expect me to perform for your ephebophiliac fantasies in exchange for keeping one of the very few people I have in this world!" Edd shrieked, inches away from having a nervous breakdown. "Why can't you get one of the mothers of your children to sleep with you again? I mean you're probably in a committed relationship with one of them."

"The answer should be easy for you then," Matthew replied, "also, my kids moms are my exes. I only see them when I have to pick the ankle-biters up once in awhile since the idiot judge made me choose between that and paying child support payments. Now, I'm not asking you to marry my sorry ass or to fuck me in front of your precious boyfriend. Today, I'm only asking that you let me continue the kiss from earlier." Matthew kept out the part that he was planning on fucking Edd eventually, but he didn't want to scare him off.

"Fine!" Edd huffed in defeat. He sat on the bed, wanting at least a bit of comfort if he was going to allow himself to be degraded. Matthew was on him within seconds. Edd felt the man's lips against his once more. He calmed himself by keeping Eddy and Ed in his thoughts. Ed would be so lost if Eddy and he didn't get along as a result of his own feelings. If he didn't comply with the man's wishes, his secret would be revealed.

The key to any successful transaction is to start with a bold gesture to reel in the unsuspecting individual. Then that got followed up with a negotiation between two people. That was the secret to how he was a successful scam artist and how he was so successful in the dating field. Though close-mouthed kisses were dull compared to other things, the kiss was enough to get the sixteen year old entangled into Matthew's web.

* * *

A/N: Thanks for the reviews. It's nice to know what you viewers think about the story so far.


	6. The Black Curtain

By the time Edd had a chance to go outside to help his friends; he had found Ed and Eddy slacking off in the yard. Eddy was in his Speedo swimsuit, sunbathing while Ed was pretending to be a vampire. To think Edd actually believed that those two would be working on the yard while he was blackmailed by Eddy's brother.

"My name is Ed-dula. I want to suck your blood!" Ed announced dramatically, one arm covered the lower half of his face.

"Hey, Bela Lugosi, does it look like my blood is made out of gravy to you?" Eddy turned when he heard Edd giggling at the scene, "where the fuck have you been? Lumpy and I've been waiting forever for you to come out here."

"I'm sorry gentlemen. I was taking care of my daily hygienic needs and searching for the hammer," It was partially true, but Edd could not let Eddy or Ed know what or more importantly who was keeping him from heading outside sooner. "Ah, Eddy-"

"What?" Eddy turned his head and ducked as Ed tried to take a bite out of neck, "Ed, you idiot! You almost gave me a hickey! If you bite me, I swear! I'll mail your ass to France!"

"Where I get to see someone's underpants?" Ed asked.

"Please Ed, no rhythms," Edd replied, awkwardly. "We need to start working on the yard."

"We can't do anything until my brother moves his stupid car," Eddy complained. "Go get him, Double Dee!"

Edd sweated nervously. The last place he wanted to be in the lair of the beast again. "Uh, I-I'm sure we c-can wait a bit to ask your brother for the keys to his vehicle."

"What's with you?" Eddy eyed him strangely, "if I didn't know better, I would assume that you're about as lazy as Lumpy and I are."

"I just don't feel up to it at the moment." Edd hoped that Eddy didn't notice that he wanted to avoid being alone with his brother again.

"Alright, Sockhead." Eddy yawned, "Fuck, I'm bored. I'm thinking about startin' a fake I.D. business and charging everyone twenty bucks for one."

"Really, Eddy? Can we do something that isn't against the law?" Edd suggested.

Eddy snorted, "I don't see you two slackers thinking of something."

"Eddy, we've committed many scams throughout the years. We're bound to have creative blocks." Edd suggested, placing his hand on Eddy's shoulder. Their scams may have seemed like countless efforts to make money. However, Ed, Edd, and secretly Eddy enjoyed the project side of creating new scams more than they cared about any monetary gain. Why else would they continue doing scams after failing so many times without quitting? The scams were something that the Eds shared together. Ed was the muscle who lifted objects that Eddy and Edd were too weak to be able to carry on their own. Edd came up with the blueprints, built the necessary tools for the scams, and formulated how the scam was going play out. –And Eddy was the supervisor of their scams.

"Hi Kevin!" Ed loudly greeted the motorcycle-obsessed jock that hopped over the fence. Kevin looked absolutely furious. The redhead welded a carjack and advanced towards them. The teen's face with flushed red and his eyes promised the Eds a severe beating.

Edd pulled Ed back away from Kevin. Eddy shouted at Kevin. "Geez, Shovel Chin! Who pissed in your Cheerios this morning?"

"Which one of you dorks did it?" Kevin's voice was barely audible; his body was shaking in rage.

"I honestly have no idea what you're alluding to," Edd stated. He had no idea what Kevin was infuriated about, but he was sure it had to be something serious.

"Nazz's leg is broken, Rolf's goat got ran over by that piece of shit Camaro in your yard, my fence is broken, and I'm ready to pound the dork that did it!" Kevin crackled his knuckles, hyping himself up for a possible fight, "So which one of you did it?"

"Kevin, I sympathize with your, Nazz's, and Rolf's loss, but Ed, Eddy, and I are not responsible for those horrible incidents." Edd tried to reason with him.

"Kevin boy!" Rolf shouted rushing towards his friend, wearing what appears to be a cloak made out of goat fur. "Your carrots are hardened, but are vulnerable to infestation. Do not mourn the loss of Victor and Rolf. If the Ed boys are guilty of this injustice, they owe Rolf three bags of candied beets and five chickens." Rolf's calm demeanor quickly changed as he charged towards Eddy and started to strangle him. "Confess to your crimes, murderous Ed boy and Rolf might be merciful!"

"Dude!" Kevin stared in amazement as Rolf went after Eddy.

"Rolf, control yourself!" Edd tried to pull the foreign teen away from Eddy. He silently cursed how weak he was in strength. Why did Eddy's brother have to come back and bring chaos to the cul-de-sac? They barely had anything to do with the mess, but Kevin and Rolf were going to hurt them until they started talking.

Ed caught Kevin into a tight bear hug, "don't hurt Double D and Eddy!" He kept repeating the phrase as Kevin struggled to break loose from Ed's grip. The car jack fell out of Kevin's hands and into the grass.

"Alright, that's enough! Eddy's brother is the current owner of that vehicle! He arrived at the house in the middle of the night, reeking of alcohol after he driven home from the bar." Edd shouted. He couldn't let Eddy continue to get hurt over something that his brother did. One of the puzzling things about the situation was that Eddy was willingly to let himself get hurt for his brother's sake.

Before Rolf and Kevin could process what Edd told them, a feminine shriek got their attentions, "Kev! Rolf! What is going on here? Let Eddy go!" She was in her white cheerleading shirt and a pair of spandex shorts. A large cast covered most of her right leg. She made her way towards them, using a pair of new crutches to assist her in walking. "Ed, Edd, and Eddy didn't do it. I seen Eddy's brother driving that car." Rolf quickly let go of Eddy while Ed released Kevin. Eddy coughed as he was able to breathe again.

"Nazz, how much damage was done to the cul-de-sac as a result of Matt- Eddy's brother's reckless driving?" Edd asked, afraid of the answer.

"Dude, the playground and part of the Lane is completely destroyed." Nazz started to tell them what happened the night before. Nazz was walking home from her night shift at the diner and used the playground as a shortcut home. Rolf was walking his goat around near the road. Nazz heard Rolf's screams as his goat became the first causality of Matthew's destructive path back home. Nazz took cover on top of the slide, which she gotten thrown off of when the slide became the next target, explaining how she ended up with her broken leg.

"Oh dear!" Edd went to Eddy's side and examined the handprints on Eddy's neck. He wanted so badly to tell Eddy that his brother would only bring further misfortune to them, but he stopped himself, realizing that Eddy was in extreme denial over his brother. Eddy constantly made excuses over his brother's callous mistreatment of him throughout the years. Even after what happened at Mondo A-Go Go, Eddy still wouldn't step up to his own brother.

Neither one of the Eds dared to speak unless they had to. Tensions were high enough without them adding to it. Surprisingly, Rolf also remained quiet. Nazz limped towards Kevin. "Dude, you, like, need to watch your temper. I know you wanted to help me and Rolf, but there are better ways to do it, dude. I need help carrying extra stuff around my house for the next month. Think you would be able to do it, Kev?" The smile on her was warm and friendly. Kevin melted from the sight of that smile alone.

"Of course, Nazz," Kevin replied, feeling nervous, "let's head back to my house and get you some ice cream or something." The redhead practically swooned over the blond as he did when he first laid eyes upon her years ago.

Nazz giggled, "You're funny! I'll take you up on that ice cream offer."

"Righteous. I'll see you a few. I need to tell Rolf something first."

"Alright, I'll be waiting at your place," Nazz waved to Rolf and the Eds as she headed in the direction of Kevin's house.

"Oh ho! Kevin boy is finally to confess his love for Go-Go Nazz girl!" Rolf teased, both of them ignoring the fact that the shell-shocked Eds could hear their conversation.

"It's not like that, man," Kevin rubbed the back of his own neck, nervously, "I'm just doing her a favor, man."

"Sure, Kevin-boy! When is Rolf expected to receive wedding invitation?" Rolf grinned at Kevin's blush.

"Hey, can't a guy get one lousy shower without listening to you ankle-biters' high-pitch whines all the way from the bathroom?" Matthew stood outside the back door in only a silk bathrobe and a pair of plaid boxers. The males in the McGee household had an extremely different view on modesty than what Edd was accustomed to. Edd's father would've scowled him for the things that Eddy walked around outside in on several occasions.

Kevin lost all color in his face, but still tried maintain the façade of confidence and bravery, "Hey, bro guy! Nazz broke her leg and Rolf lost his goat, because of you! I should start giving you some just desserts."

"If he's going to be giving Eddy's brother a cake, can I have one too?" Ed asked.

Eddy yanked down on Ed's ear and hissed, "Shut up, Ed!" Glancing around the yard, he hoped that fight doesn't break out his yard. He was still too hung over to deal with the drama that his own brother stirred up in the neighborhood. If he sided with the neighbors, he faced whatever physical abuse his brother could dish out on him when he was home. If he sided with his brother, he faced whatever abuse the neighbors dished out when he dared to venture the neighborhood he grew up in. The situation was like trying to decide if he would rather get dick chopped off or have his testicles removed.

"Yeah, I don't give a rat's ass about your little girlfriend or your little boyfriend's animals. If you think that you can take me on, go ahead, but I'm not responsible when you find yourself in the hospital."

"Gentlemen, can we find another way to resolve this issue without resorting to barbarism?" Edd's pleas fell on deaf ears.

"Let's how you say `even the playing field'" Rolf removed his shirt, preparing himself to fight Eddy's brother.

"So which one of you girls want to play uncle first?" Matthew asked, ominously.

Terror was written across Kevin's face. The only time they have seen Kevin act like that was when Eddy had found out about Kevin's fear of needles in middle school and decided torment him over it. "I h-have to go, Rolf! I'll catch you later," Kevin ran back to his house without a second glance.

"Kevin! Why you run with tail between legs like one of Rolf's chickens?" Rolf called out to his friends retreating form and faced Matthew, "a black curtain has befallen the cul-de-sac. The grim face of death mocks the son of a shepherd and his livestock with his beady black eyes and goatee." Rolf feared Matthew as much as the rest of them did and ran in the direction that Kevin headed, "wait for Rolf!"

"God, I hate foreigners," Matthew muttered under his breath. He grinned at the three Eds who were still backed into the corner of the yard like three small mice that were about to become the next meal of a ball python. "Relax. Unlike the rest of these goodie-two-shoes in this dump, you three actually know your place. Anyway, I'm about to order pizza and movies later. I figured us four can hang out until then."

Eddy grinned nervously, "sure, Bro! That sounds awesome!"


	7. Movies

Matthew couldn't even begin to describe the Eds' behavior. They acted like a bumbling, comedy trio. One of them would do something to annoy the other and the other would chase them around Eddy's room. Was this how close friends are supposed to interact? Most of the friends Matthew had growing up were fair-weathered friends and people he used to get free stuff out of. Matthew hated to admit it, but he was kind of envious at the bond the Eds shared.

Edd fussed over Ed and Eddy. Both of them laid on the ground after Ed pounced on Eddy from the disco ball in room. Ed was reenacting a scene from a horror movie where a Gorgon dropped from a ceiling and attacked an unsuspecting couple in the movie. Matthew guessed that Ed didn't mean to hurt Eddy and was too lost in his own world to consider the consequences of his actions, but he could care less about what the big lug was trying to do.

The seemingly innocent scene in front of him was undeniably arousing. Edd was on his knees, checking his friends for broken bones and propping their heads up against pillows that he recently fluffed. Both of the boys have been knocked out. Edd patted their cheeks lightly, trying to get them conscious. After that, Edd went to presumably get ice packs.

Smirking, Matthew went into one of the broom closets of the house and got out the bottle of Armenian hot sauce. He was surprised that it was still in the same spot that he had hid it after all of these years. Edd was filling a bag with ice when Matthew passed by with hot sauce jug in hand. The teen was too busy to notice Matthew walking by. When Matthew had returned to the room, the two Eds were still unconscious in the middle of the floor.

He leaned over the boys and untwisted the cap of the hot sauce bottle, "Still unconscious, huh? Well, bottom's up, boys!" He tilted Eddy's chin down and poured the spicy liquid into Eddy's mouth. The hot sauce dribbled down his chin. Matthew also poured some into Ed's mouth and closed the bottle afterward. "I guess you two aren't fakin' it." Matthew cackled and shoved the hot sauce under Eddy's bed.

Edd returned back to the room a minute later with two bags of ice. Matthew sat on Eddy's bed, bored out of his mind. He could think of a million things that he would rather be doing than watching the two Eds lay on the ground like two bumps on a log, even though he got to see Edd bent over the two teens. "Shouldn't you be calling 9-1-1 for your boyfriend and Cheesehead?"

"If they're not conscious within the next three minutes I will." Edd placed the bags on ice on their heads to get the swelling down. He noticed a red liquid poured down Eddy's lips. Edd gathered the liquid using his first two fingers and inspected the liquid closely. He knew that liquid anywhere. Back when they were 12, Eddy had the great idea to create a taco stand where the tacos were made from paper plates, orange crayon shavings, weeds, and a certain special ingredient which Edd drank, a lapse in judgment on his part. That horrible ingredient was like liquid fire in his mouth. Edd has yet to taste anything that spicy since then. He wasn't sure how it rated on the Scoville scale, but Edd was sure it ranked higher than Bhut Jolokia, or as they're commonly known, ghost peppers. Eddy's brother's Armenian hot sauce might as well be renamed the hot sauce from hell.

"You rapscallion! Does this look like the time for one of your insidious pranks?" Edd snapped at the owner of the hot sauce. Edd searched the room for the old "Canadian squirt guns" that Eddy still had in his closet. After finding them, Edd used them to suck the hot sauce out of his friend's mouths. "They could've drowned on your hot sauce!"

"I haven't heard of anyone drowning on hot sauce, especially on my homemade Carolina Reaper hot sauce recipe. The trick is to find the proper mix of spices to give the Carolina Reaper sauce a little kick instead of subtracting from the pepper's already powerful taste." Matthew boasted, watching Edd remove one of Ed's shoes. He noticed that Edd was getting green in the face from the smell of the shoe. Unfortunately for Matthew, he could smell the foul odor from the shoe where he was sitting. Edd dangled the shoe in front of Eddy's nose. "My horrible pranks, huh? At least I'm not trying to destroy Pipsqueak's sense of smell."

Edd shot the man a look and turned his attention back to Eddy. Eddy slowly regained consciousness and squealed when he seen Ed's shoe in front of him, "What the hell, Sockhead! Are you trying to kill me?"

The teen could only giggle as a response, thankful that Eddy didn't need to go to the emergency room. He held the shoe to Ed's nose. Ed regained consciousness as well after several seconds. The tallest teen of the trio looked around the room and grinned. He and Eddy were back to normal.

"Hi guys! What did I miss?" Ed asked.

"Your brain and my sense of smell," Eddy replied, sarcastically. Ed only laughed as a response to the statement. Suddenly the hot sauce began its torture on Eddy's mouth. His face turned bright red and his eyes watered.

"Ed, you and Eddy fell unconscious when you pounced on him during one of your reenactments of your favorite horror movies." Edd explained.

"Cool!" Ed said. Ed's and Eddy's faces turned as red as the peppers the hot sauce was made from and ran out screaming for water. Edd could hear Matthew roaring with laughter as he rushed out after them, "fellas, I can get you a glass of milk."

Ed had the garden hose in his mouth, sucking at the rushing water. Eddy hovered over Ed, batting at his hands, "quit hogging the hose, Lumpy!" Eddy turned to Edd, "great practical joke, Sockhead! It's not as if I needed my sense of taste and smell! I've got a special prank stored for you just you wait."

"Eddy, I was not the one that put hot sauce in your mouth or Ed's," Edd tried to explain.

A few hours later, they found themselves outside of the video store. One of the Eds in particular was hopping up and down with excitement. Ed placed his face against the glass and looked eagerly at the horror movie section. "Only one rule while you three are in here, don't embarrass the fuck out of me! Also, this will the only time I pay for pizzas and movies. Don't expect it to become a habit."

"Sure, bro!" Eddy nodded. Ed was first one in the store, browsing every single movie that was in the section. Eddy headed to another part of the store. The documentary section looked promising to the bookish sixteen year old. Edd picked up every documentary in the store, scanning over the movie descriptions. "This documentary would be suitable for a movie night." The history of Ancient Rome, a time of great technological and cultural advancements, was perfect for a movie night.

"Hey, Double D, did you pick out a movie yet?" Eddy and Ed were behind him with movies in their hands. The cover of Ed's movie shown a demon consuming a plantation house and Eddy's shown a scantily clad woman armed with handguns.

"Yes, I suppose," Edd nodded, showing them the movie he had gotten. Edd took the movies from his friends' hands and examined them. "I hate to be the bearer of bad business, but you can't purchase these movies."

"Why the hell not?" Eddy asked.

"It's rated R, Eddy," Edd stated, "You'll just have to wait a year before you see them."

"It's not fair!" Ed complained, "I really want to see the movie, Double D!"

Eddy growled in frustration and turned to the movie Edd picked out, "Ha! Looks like you're not getting your movie either!"

"Impossible!" The movie was shoved in his face where he seen the rating of the documentary: It was rated R, "the gall of the Motion Picture Association of America! Equalizing an educational documentary with mindless trash! I suppose I'll have to find another movie to watch."

"Hold on there, Sockhead." Eddy then started whispering to them, "we can always get my brother to rent the movies for us."

"I don't think that's such a good idea," Edd cautioned, "I doubt your brother's actions are out of genuine brotherly affection. I think he's doing it in an attempt to gain something from the experience. We should prevent ourselves from being in that man's debt."

"But Double D!" Ed whined, "Monster movie!"

"You worry too much, Sockhead," Eddy grabbed all three movies and went looking for his brother.

"What's the use of trying to instill logic in those two," Edd mumbled, following Eddy and Ed around the store. The twenty four year old was chatting up the cashier. The fact that he was being flirtatious was pretty obvious to everyone, but the cashier – and maybe Ed. Matthew seen them coming and waved. "Are you three done yet?"

"Yeah, bro," Eddy handed his brother the three movies.

Matthew looked over the movies, "_Attack of the Incubus, Confessions of a Stripper, _and _Ancient Rome: The Complete History. _Alright." Matthew didn't even need to ask which Ed rented which movie. It was pretty obvious just from the titles alone. He checked out all three of the movies without a word.

"Use a paper plate," Edd chided his friends who grabbed the first two slices. Matthew had picked up the pizzas after they had left the video store. It helped to have a pizzeria near the video store. Two pizza boxes sat on top of the coffee table. One was a cheeseless meat pizza with green peppers and onions and the other was a pizza with everything on it.

Ed ate his slice of pizza in two bites, "this reminds me of the zombie apocalypse movie where the survivors locked themselves in a mall and survived on pizza from one of the restaurants."

"Careful, Ed. You'll burn your mouth," Edd grabbed a slice and gingerly took a bit, sitting it on his plate. "Where are my matters? Thank you Matthew for your generosity." Even though Edd didn't trust the intentions of the man, he couldn't discourteous to him.

"Not a problem," Matthew replied, taking a bite a cheeseless pizza.

"Thanks bro," Eddy replied, yelping when Ed ate the pizza out of his hand like a hungry piranha, "Ed, you pig! That was my slice of pizza!"

"Hey Eddy, why is there a pizza with no cheese on it?" Ed asked.

"Because my brother can't have cheese, Ed." Eddy replied, grabbing another slice from the pizza with everything on it. Eddy turned to Edd, "Geez, Double D, you're such a girl!"

"I beg your pardon, Eddy?"

"Diet soda with pizza? Only chicks drink that stuff!" Eddy teased, "I'm surprised you didn't want a salad to go with that."

Edd took a sip out of his soda, "I didn't want to consume a lot of sugar before bed, Eddy."

They watched Ed's horror movie first. The movie was about six cousins who visited a plantation house that they inherited. The cousins decided to stay in different rooms of the house for the weekend to decide if the house was worth keeping. An incubus had begun attacking the cousins one by one, seducing and sleeping with its victim before the victim's death and then consuming them, until only half of the cousins survived. The plot twist of the movie was that their grandfather was a warlock that purposely summoned the incubus and made a deal with it that he would give the thing his own grandchildren in exchange for material wealth.

"That thing should be summoned to the Kanker house!" Eddy joked in the middle of the movie.

Ed gave his friend an uncharacteristic scowl, "that's not funny, Eddy!"

"What's with you?" Ed didn't answer Eddy's question and turned back to the movie. Edd found the movie to be disturbing to say the least. After the movie was over, Eddy wanted to watch the one he picked out next. To Edd's surprise, Matthew remained quiet during the last movie, only chuckling at the victim's stupidity during the chase scenes. Ed fell asleep ten minutes into Eddy's movie.

Eddy's movie was about a stripper, obviously. The movie was an urban drama about a stripper who made a few dangerous enemies. Just like with Ed's movie, Eddy's movie had too many sex scenes for Edd's taste. A plotline revolving around money, check. A busty stripper protagonist with loose sex morals, check. Excessive gun violence, check. The movie was definitely right up Eddy's alley. Then it was time to watch Edd's movie. Five minutes into the documentary, Eddy had fallen asleep, leaving Edd alone to watch his documentary in peace.

Halfway through, Edd felt someone sit behind him. Their chest pressed against his back. Their arms were wrapped around his midsection. Their chin rested upon his shoulder. He didn't need to turn his head to know exactly who was behind him. "Matthew, what are you doing?"

"I'm just watching the documentary with you," Edd could feel the man's warm breath on his cheek, "looks like Cheesehead and Pipsqueak fell asleep on you. That's too bad!"

Edd shivered as he tried to remain calm. His mind raced, thinking of what the man had planned this time. He was torn between wanting to wake up Edd and Eddy and not wanting to. If Ed and Eddy woke up, they would have seen Eddy's brother wrapped around him like a snake squeezing its' prey and rescue him from the man's grip. However, that possibility was a double edged sword. They would've seen the predicament that he was in and probably assume the worst. "Get your hands off of me."

"Play nice, Princess. I still know your secret." Edd felt Matthew rubbing lazy circles on his stomach, "besides, how will Pipsqueak react to the thought of his best friend wanting his dick and seducing his older brother."

"The latter never happened!" Edd gritted his teeth, adrenaline rushing through his veins, He never been more ready to slap Matthew than he was at that moment. If he left, physically assaulted the man, or refused the man, his secret would've been exposed. He had to do something and chose to do the worst possible thing that he could've chosen in the situation.

He turned himself around and threw himself at Matthew. He forced his lips upon the man's and moaned into the kiss. He wanted to express his irritation at the man and choose to do it in the worst possible way. Despite his intentions being to kiss the man quickly as possible, he still moaned quietly. He silently cursed his own hormones for the millionth time since he had become a teenager.

Matthew set Edd on the ground, not breaking the kiss. The man got on top of him. Edd looked around, anxiously, hoping that the only people he had left in Peach Creek did not witness him lose his morals in such a way. Matthew's tongue darted out, demanding entrance into his own mouth. Edd complied in a haze of confused pleasure to the older man's advances. The strange thing was that this was the first time he's ever been French kissed. Marie Kanker was always content at just covering his face with regular kisses. The couple of times he had been kissed by Eddy were not French kisses either. Besides the drunken kiss that they shared recently, Eddy had kissed him once when they were both twelve. Of course, their first kiss was the result of Eddy being blackmailed by Kevin over his middle name, but a kiss was still a kiss, regardless.

Matthew had finally pulled away, grinning, "It's always the nice ones that are so willing, I swear. You did well, Girlfriend."

Edd's heart sank as he lifted himself from the ground. The guilt from what he had done sank in. He allowed the man to kiss him again – a kiss that he had started nonetheless. He allowed the man to stick his tongue inside of his mouth. He wished there was a way to reverse what had happened, but knew that there was no way to take back what he had done. The worst part was that experience felt pleasant to him. He noticed that Matthew had left the room after he was finished. He eyed his friends' sleeping forms guiltily and watched the rest of the documentary in an attempt to take his mind off of everything.


	8. Funeral for a Goat

A couple of days had passed since their movie night. The three Eds parked inside of the junkyard, one of the odd times that they had to unwind and reflect on their current situation. The junkyard served as a place where they could escape to figure out the solution to their problems. They were in the same van they sat in various times during their youth as well. The only difference was that the purple van was now operational and didn't reside in the junkyard like it used to. More nostalgic memories when Edd had seen what remained of their old cardboard city that stood abandoned and decayed. It was a reminder of their lost youth.

Something was on Eddy's mind. Edd could see it written across his face. When Eddy had dragged Edd and Ed into the van for a drive, he looked quite serious. Edd tried to ponder what was on Eddy's mind. After the movie night, Matthew had them working around the house and the yard. Eddy had gotten yard work while Edd had gotten household duties such as laundry, meal preparation, and cleaning. It was stuff that he was used to when his parents were still around. He took great pride at being able to keep things neat and organized.

However, there were a few annoyances that made doing what he considered second nature difficult – all of them revolving around Matthew. Edd can deal with the fact that Matthew would rather drink his weight in alcohol than help them with chores. However, the constant rear grabbing, spanking, sexual taunts, and general tomfoolery made it difficult for Edd to complete his chores. Edd gritted his teeth and tried to ignore the man's actions.

Ed's question broke Edd away from his thoughts, "why does the white knight talk backwards, Double D?"

"I honestly have no idea, Ed," Edd had no idea where the random question came from, but he was used to the random questions that Ed asked. "Victor's funeral is today. I believe that we should attend as a gesture of good will."

"Us attending a funeral for a goat? I'd rather watch Rolf trim his back hair," Eddy heard Ed sobbing in back over the news. Ed was lounged on the waterbed in the back when he heard the news. It was not a secret that the tallest of three was close to Rolf's animals, much to Eddy's and Rolf's chagrin throughout the years. It only made sense that Ed would've taken Victor's death hard, once he realized that Victor was not coming back. Eddy sighed, "Quit blubbering back there, Lumpy. Rolf will get a new goat."

"It's not the same," Ed sniffled.

"Eddy, try to be more understanding of Rolf's and Ed's situations. They lost an animal that they were both close to. I would suggest coming with Ed and me to the funeral this afternoon. It would do you some good to go." Edd suggested lightly, patting Ed's hand to get him to calm down.

"I don't have to do shit. I wasn't the one that ran over the goat," Eddy shouted, losing his temper, "besides; I'm more worried about what the hell you two are hiding from me!"

"What on earth are you talking about?" Edd asked, baffled by his friend's outburst.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about!" Eddy retorted harshly. Edd felt cold sweat trickling down the back to his neck. He racked his brain trying to figure out which of the two secrets that Eddy found out about. "You've been keeping shit from me. You and Lumpy both have!"

"I honestly haven't a clue about what you're talking about." Edd yelped as Eddy leaned dangerously close, staring him down with his piercing gaze. Edd tilted his head to the side to avoid Eddy's gaze. He caught a whiff of the cheap cologne that Eddy loved to douse himself in after he had taken a shower.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about!" Eddy exclaimed, "Ed's mysterious girlfriends and whatever you're hiding from me, Sockhead. Fess up!"

"Eddy, I'm not hiding anything from you. It's all in your head," Edd was now in a spot where he had to choose between pissing Eddy off by revealing that he made out with his brother, losing Eddy's friendship over his feelings for him, and infuriating Eddy with his silence. One option was as bad as the other.

Eddy made his way into the back of the van, "alright Lumpy. What's the name of your girlfriends?"

"I'm not telling you!" Ed protested, "Soap bad for Ed!"

Edd turned around and seen that Eddy had a bar of soap in his hand. "Drop the soap!"

"Not until Casanova spills the details about which girls he's been screwing." Eddy waved the bar soap at Ed. Ed was backed into the corner looking at the bar of soap with terror. His skin was as white as a sheet. "C'mon Lumpy! Give me the names."

This wasn't the first nor would it be the last time, Eddy used a person's phobia for his own personal gain. When they still attended Peach Creek Jr. High, Eddy used Kevin's Trypanophobia against him as a cruel practical joke. Eddy had also disregarded Edd's fear of the game of dodgeball quite a few times when he was either doing scams related to the game or just boasting about the game being what defines people as men.

Edd jumped on Eddy's back, pulling him down onto the floor. Eddy was much heavier than he was and Edd already started to feel himself lose oxygen, "S-stop it! Respect Ed's wishes! If he does not want to disclose who his girlfriends are then don't pry into his personal business!"

"Why are you touching the family jewels?" Eddy asked, lifting himself off of Edd.

Edd's eyes widened and he pulled his hand away. He yanked down his hat, blushing for the hundredth time that week. "That was never my intention." Edd muttered under his hat.

"Whatever. You two are lucky I'm dropping you two off at Rolf's," Eddy got back into the driver's seat. "I thought we would be more open with each other, but whatever. I'll be on you two like warts until I find out what you've been hiding from me!"

The drive to Rolf's house had only taken a couple of minutes. Edd and Ed had gotten out wordlessly. Edd managed to calm down Ed during the ride over by reminding Ed that Rolf's chickens were still at the farm. That seemed to cheer Ed up. Someone from the neighborhood brought in a folding table for Rolf to put several strange looking dishes upon.

All of the teens from the neighborhood also seemed to have attended the funeral. Everyone but Eddy and the Kanker Sisters was there. Sarah, Nazz, and Jimmy were talking amongst themselves. Jonny was chatting with Plank about getting his head stuck in a window earlier. Johnny had headphones around the back of his neck. Rolf was just finishing digging a hole to put Victor in while Kevin sat back and watched.

There were three adults that also were in attendance. Two of the adults bore a striking resemblance to Rolf. The man looked like he could've broken Edd in half like a twig if he wanted to. The man had muscles that could've only come from years of heavy lifting and back-breaking farming. Judging from the nasal wart on the man's nose and the similar facial structure that the man and Rolf shared, Edd guessed the man to be Rolf's father. The woman with the long gray hair had to be Rolf's mother. By the tales Rolf told everyone in the neighborhood, the tall, overweight, elderly woman with a wooden leg had to be Rolf's grandmother or "Nana" as he called her.

Edd looked around with discomfort. Funerals were never the easiest types of social environments to be in, including funerals for animals. He didn't think he would be able to say much to Rolf during the funeral, except for offering his condolences to Rolf's loss. Rolf had noticed the two standing by the wooden fence and waved at them. "It is nice for Rolf to see Ed-boys make an appearance. Are you going to stand there like cows or are you going to join Rolf in his dreary party for Victor?"

"Thank you, Rolf," Edd politely stepped over the wooden fence rails to the familiar pungent scent of farm animals and manure. "I'm terribly sorry for your loss."

"Where's the other Ed-boy?" Rolf asked.

"He couldn't make it. He's quite busy at the moment, but he sends his condolences." Edd lied. Telling white lies seems to be a new habit to teen. The lies he told Eddy and Rolf put Edd in a moral dilemma. Is it better to lie to spare someone the pain of the truth? Edd wished that he had an answer to that. Reading twenty encyclopedias on the subject of lying and human emotions would not even help Edd deal with the problems he had.

"Rolf suppose that Ed-boy was too lazy to come, yes?" Rolf gestured towards the food table, "there's plenty of food for couch creature Ed-boys until ceremony." Rolf noticed Ed heading towards his chickens and yelled out towards him, "Ed-boy! Why must you pester Rolf's fowl?"

"But I love chickens, Rolf!" Ed ran as Rolf chased after him.

"You know everything on that table is made from Victor, right?" The jock's voice startled Edd for a moment, "It's a tradition in Rolf's country to consume their farm animals after the animal has died unless the meat is bad or is infected with a disease. The funeral, food, and the cape that Rolf wears around are all a way of honoring the goat."

"I see," Edd nodded. Rolf and his family have so many strange customs that it was hard to keep track of them all. "You certainly know so much about Rolf's customs."

"I've been friends with him for years. You don't think I would've picked up a few things about him and his family, Double Dweeb?"

"Right, of course!" Having conversations with Kevin was always kind of awkward for him. Sure Kevin has bullied him and his friends since Mondo A-Go Go, but Edd still felt uneasy around the guy. "Is Nazz alright? I know that Rolf's been upset about Victor."

"Rolf can manage. He has Nazz and me to help him deal with the death of Victor. Nazz still has a couple of months in a cast. Nazz is a tough babe; she won't let a broken leg from a psycho get to her." Kevin spoke with such pride over Nazz. It was almost as if Kevin and Nazz were already dating. Of course, almost all of the guys in the neighborhood had crushes on Nazz at one point or another, but it seemed that Kevin still had a crush on her. With the conversation that Rolf and Kevin had in Eddy's backyard, Kevin's crush on Nazz became extremely obvious to anyone who heard what Rolf and Kevin said to each other.

"That's great to hear." Edd didn't know how else to respond to the news. It seemed odd that Kevin, Rolf, and Nazz never went forward to the police. Matthew could have received a Class E Felony for what happened to Nazz if he was tried in court. Not counting the additional charges of reckless driving, driving while intoxicated, property damage, and animal cruelty.

"So, how have you and Dorky been since that psycho moved back in?" Edd hoped that Kevin would not ask that. The subject of Eddy's brother was a complicated matter. On one hand, he did to seem to have his good moments. On the other hand, the man was not the most trustworthy individual that Edd knew and only did things when it best suited him. Plus the man was pretty slovenly, a miscreant, and not the best role model for Eddy or anyone else.

"He hasn't hurt Ed, Eddy, or me since he moved back. He did pull one of his despicable scams on Ed and Eddy and has a tendency of talking about indecent topics, but that's all." Kevin gave him a hard look. It wasn't out of anger or disgusted. It almost look like it was out of concern, but Edd did not want to assume anything. "I-I should go find Ed. It was nice talking to you again, Kevin!"

Edd dashed off to find Ed. He didn't want Kevin to even have an inkling of what he even kept a secret from Eddy. When he found Ed again by the chicken pen, Ed was sitting with Gertrude. The chicken rested peacefully in his arms. "I think she likes me, Double D!"

"Loveable Oaf," Edd smiled softly, leaning against one of the trees.

The rest of the funeral went along smoothly. Rolf's father delivered a tearful eulogy in his native tongue near a burlap sack that contained Victor's remains. Rolf broke down and wailed into Kevin and Nazz's shoulder. Rolf and his family really cared about their livestock and it shown on each of their faces as Rolf's father carried Victor's remains and rolled it inside of the deep hole Rolf had dug. Edd consoled Ed while Rolf and his father covered Victor's remains with dirt. Edd's shirt had gotten wet from Ed's tears. Edd patted Ed's head gently as he watched the hole getting filled.

The only ones who ate after the hole was filled was Rolf, his family, Ed and Jonny. Edd didn't have the heart to tell Ed what actually he was eating. He figured Ed had enough sorrow for one day. The sun slowly started to set on the Cul-de-Sac.

* * *

A/N: I want to thank everyone again for the reviews and favs. You guys are awesome!


	9. Quid Pro Quo

Edd had returned to the McGee residence after he walked Ed home. The home was quiet as a ghost town. All of the lights were out and nobody was in the kitchen or the living room. Edd flipped on the switch and called out, "Eddy? Matthew? Are you two here?" The thought occurred to Edd that Eddy could still be upset with him and would not answer him even if he was home.

He spotted Matthew walking down the upstairs hallway. Edd was kind of relieved that someone was home besides himself. Relief was quickly replaced with discomfort when he seen that the man was walking around shirtless. Silently cursing his overactive traitorous hormones yet again, he caught himself staring at the man. Edd hated to admit it, but the man was attractive. Edd had seen the man shirtless before when the man stolen one of his hats, but after the special "attention" he had received from the man, the sight had left him tongue-tied.

Edd quickly turned around to avoid facing the man, "Oh hello Matthew. Have you seen Eddy around?"

"Yeah, he's in his room." Matthew replied, "Though I doubt you're going to be sleeping in there tonight. Pipsqueak's been acting like a drama queen since he got back and locked himself in his room. He won't even let me in."

Edd turned around to see if Matthew was deceiving him. The man looked like he was telling the truth, "I'll go talk with him." Edd rushed to Eddy's room and knocked on the door, "Eddy, it's me! Open up!"

"Take a hike, Double D." Eddy snapped.

"C'mon Eddy! I told you before that I have nothing to hide." Edd knocked on the door again.

"Bullshit," Eddy retorted, "I know that you're hiding something from me! I don't know what it is yet, but I'll find out!"

"Eddy, can't we discuss this like mature individuals?"

"I don't wanna talk it over. I don't want to see you tonight. I just want to go to bed, so leave me the hell alone!" Eddy yelled, "out of all of the people I expected to keep secrets from me, you and Ed are the very last people I would've expected that from!"

"Eddy, just listen to me," Edd heard loud music coming from Eddy's room. Eddy obviously turned his record player on full blast so that he didn't have to listen to Edd. Edd sneered at the door and threw up a rude gesture at it as he left to figure out a solution to his bed problem. Eddy's parents' room is padlocked to prevent anyone from entering. The lime green couch in Eddy's living room would not provide his back with adequate support. His idea of sleeping at his own house for the night was quickly dashed when he realized that the key to his own house was in Eddy's room.

Making up his mind about sleeping on the couch for the night, he searched around the house for a pillow and a blanket. After searching every corner of the ground floor for a pillow and a blanket, his search came up empty. Another problem was that his clothes were in Eddy's room and his laundry was in the one room that he couldn't get to. It seemed that luck was not on his side.

He sighed, realizing that he didn't have a choice but to sleep on the uncomfortable couch in his clothes for the night. He walked towards the living room where Matthew was lounging on the place where he wanted to sleep. "Please remove yourself from the couch. That's my current sleeping arrangement."

"On this old thing? It murders your back. I'm telling you," Matthew replied.

"Well, I've only got a limited number of options to sleep in this house."

"Is that so?" Matthew flashed Edd a half-suggestive, half-serious grin, "Ever consider my bed one of those options?"

"I apologize, Matthew, but I'm going to have to decline your offer," It was completely improper for a grown man and a sixteen year old to share a bed. His mother and father would've never approved of such a notion. The man also made his amorous intentions towards him quite clear. The terrifying part about all of it was that he felt some kind of lustful infatuation for the man as well. He couldn't allow himself to completely abandon his own morals though.

Matthew snickered, "are you sure about that?" Matthew laid back on the couch to prove his point. He grimaced as he experienced sharp pains in several parts of his back. He was definitely going to need someone to walk on his back later; hopefully a certain scrawny teen would be the one that did it. "Help me up." He extended his hand towards Edd.

Edd was hesitant in taking his hand. He checked to see if Matthew was going to pull a prank on him or grope on him like he had been doing for a few days. He sighed and tried to pull the man up. Tried would be the best word for it. He could barely even help lift the man up with his strength or lack thereof.

Matthew gave him an amused chuckle, lifting himself off of the couch with some difficulty, "Christ, you're weak."

"E-excuse me? There is a bit of a contrast between our weights."

"You can say that again," Edd did not like that glint in his eye. He was either planning on humiliating him or doing something perverted again. How much of his diminishing willpower was Matthew planning on testing? "First of all, you look like you weigh 120 pounds soaking wet." Matthew pressed himself closer to Edd and snaked his arm around Edd's waist to keep him in place. "Your arms are as skinny as twigs." Matthew purred in Edd's ear as he caressed the skin of his arm. The man's touch actually felt nice, but he wouldn't let Matthew know that. The hand that was used to caress his arm moved towards his torso where the man continued his caresses, "you're also pretty scrawny. Not that I mind."

"Yeah, I bet you don't," Edd replied, sarcastically.

Matthew laughed harshly. Anything that came out of Edd's mouth only seemed to provoke Matthew's lustful desires. "You still got it, Princess." Matthew pinched Edd's nipple through his shirt, eliciting a squeak from the other male. "Damn, Sockhead. You seem to be enjoying yourself more that I thought you would." Matthew's voice was getting huskier. The insides of Edd's thighs were Matthew's target for slow and sensual torture.

"Cease your groping! Eddy might emerge at any given moment from his room and catch us in our current position," Edd gasped out between moans. His heart raced when he realized that they were both sitting on the ground and he was sitting on the man's lap with his own legs spread. He could feel the man's body heat behind him.

"I doubt Pipsqueak would come out for the rest of the night." Matthew's hands moved up his legs towards his crotch.

Edd quickly stood up to save some of his dignity and self-respect. "Not tonight, Matthew. I'm pretty exhausted."

"Alright," Matthew wiped the sweat from his forehead with his arm, "Pipsqueak threw some clothes at me to give to you for bed and for tomorrow. Man, if I didn't know better, I would've sworn that you two are an old married couple."

"Ha ha!" Edd crossed his arms, not amused by the old married couple comment, "Just give me my pajamas."

"Alright, sheesh! Just head towards the bathroom and I'll get your clothes." Matthew headed towards his own room. Edd made his way towards the bathroom and waited for Eddy's brother. He sat on the side of the tub, staring at the powder blue painted walls.

He yearned for the times when things were much simpler, when the biggest thing he had to worry about was numerous failed scams, schoolwork, chores, and the pursuit of knowledge. Now, it feels that his life is filled with confusion over his relationship with his closest friends, his wanton desires, and the disappearance of his parents. He read in several books that everything he was experiencing was perfectly normal and natural even. However, the variety of emotions that came with puberty did not feel natural to him. The only thing he could use describe what puberty was like for him was the book _Lord of the Flies. _It seemed like law and order was quickly being replaced by barbarism like what happened on that island in the novel. He was fighting a losing battle with his id. The id part of him just wanted to break down over the disappearance of his parents, give in to his own sexual desires, and be more open to his own friends about what was going on.

Matthew came into the bathroom and handed him his clothes. "Thank you, Matthew." Edd sat the clothes on the counter.

"Not a problem," Matthew said, inspecting his fingernails for dirt, "I'm also having my kids over for the day tomorrow. If everything goes over smoothly, I have a surprise for you both afterward."

"I can hardly wait," Edd didn't know what kind of surprise the man had in order, but he was already suspicious of what the man had planned. The pizzas and movies from a couple of nights ago were nice, but who's to say the next surprise would be just as harmless. Edd also feared how exactly Matthew would interact with his own daughters. Being a blood relative of Matthew's didn't spare his friend Eddy from years of physical abuse. At least he would be there to at least get the girls to Kevin's house if Matthew beat up on his own daughters.

Edd went through his clothes to check to see if he had everything that he needed for the night. Instead of his own boxers, he found an item that he would never consider wearing in a million years; Neon green snake skin printed low rise boxers made from Lycra fabric. There's only two people in the whole world that he knew of that would wear something that gaudy; Eddy and Matthew. "I'm not wearing this." It was as showy as the polka dotted swimsuits of Matthew's that Eddy, Ed, and he wore to Nazz's pool party one year.

"Why not?" Matthew chuckled at his reaction to the underwear.

"It's gaudy and looks uncomfortable!" Edd spat, exasperated.

"That's too bad. Pipsqueak only gave me one pair of your underwear and that's the only pair of mine that I knew would fit your scrawny ass. You don't seem like the type to wear the same type of underwear to bed that you wore all day."

"Quite observant of you," Edd responded dully, "Where is my underwear?"

Matthew pulled the plain black boxers out of his back pocket. The way that he did it oddly reminded Edd of a magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat. "Damn, Princess! You such boring tastes in underwear."

"Go put it back with my wardrobe for tomorrow!" Edd shrieked.

"Calm down, Princess," Matthew grinned, "so you're actually going to wear the underwear?"

"Does it look like I have a choice?" Edd gently pushed Matthew out of the bathroom. He shut and locked the door behind him, "Shoo Matthew, I have to get changed." Edd quickly changed into the underwear that only someone as flamboyant as Eddy or Matthew could wear. He put on his pajama shirt and pants, thankful that no one would have to see it on him. He then followed his usual routine of brushing his teeth and washing his face for the evening.

He headed into Matthew's room once he was dressed for bed. His boxers that Matthew taunted him over were sitting on top of his clothes for tomorrow. Matthew was already lying down on the waterbed. Edd quietly laid down on the other side of the bed. "I suppose you don't have anything educational to read, do you?" Edd sighed when Matthew shook his head, "Never mind."

"If you can't sleep, you can question a few personal questions that I have for you," Matthew suggested.

"Quid pro quo, Matthew. I'm not telling you anything unless you tell me something in return." Edd responded stubbornly. Eddy was starting to rub off on him a bit, "I get to ask you the first question though."

"Ask away, Sockhead."

Edd thought for a moment of what to ask the man, "have you been married or engaged?"

"No, I haven't." Matthew answered, "I don't see a point to getting married to some broad or gutless sap of a man that's just going to act like Dad does in a couple of years and try to change me. Now for my question, have you engaged in any type of sexual activity?"

Edd balked at the question, but wasn't surprised by it, "No, I haven't. I'm being completely honest." Edd thought for a moment about his next question, "What caused you to become estranged from your own father? I mean, I'm aware of the fact that you were kicked out of your own home before you were of legal age, but there had to be some kind of catalyst before that."

"Well, it just wasn't one that led me to realize that my dad was a controlling, hypocritical tyrant. It was how he reacted to the several things that I've done. He had it in his head that I was a loser from the get-go, but I didn't find that out until I was nine. Everything I had done after that was more proof in his head that I was worthless. It started with the harmless pranks and scams I performed as a kid. Then I had gotten into alcohol and cigarettes before I attended junior high. Teachers called my house at all hours of the day regarding times I was caught smoking or drinking on school property, whenever I gotten bad grades, or when I beat up someone in school. In junior high and high school, it had gotten worse. That was when I started sleeping around and experimenting with hardcore drugs. My so-called bad behavior lead to the big fight Dad and I had and he kicked me out of the house." Edd had no idea what say about what was revealed to him. Matthew could've been rehabilitated if his parents had nipped his bad behavior in the bud before it had progressed. However, he was not a parent and didn't know Eddy and Matthew's dad's side of the story. Matthew just wanted someone to listen and that's what Edd was going to do, "So, Sockhead. What are your family issues besides the fact that they're missing?"

Inhaling sharply, Edd knew that he had to be perfectly honest with the man, since Matthew seemed to not hold anything back from him. Edd revealed to him about how his parents were too busy with their careers to spend any time with him and how he had only seen his parents a few times a month before they went missing. He told him about the endless sticky note tasks he had to do growing up. How the two people that he seen the most of throughout all of his life had been Ed and Eddy. He also went into detail about how he had met Ed and Eddy for the first time when they scammed him with the "bottomless Ed" scam.

"I hate to break it to you, Girlfriend, but I doubt your parents really gave a shit about you. They could've found a way to make time for you, but they didn't." Matthew stated.

"You take that back! My parents do care about me! Why would you even say something so horrid?" Edd snapped, feeling offended by Matthew's cruel words.

"Look, it's up to you if you want to live in denial over your parents, but I was just tellin' you what I think about the situation."

"I don't want to discuss this with you anymore." Edd replied curtly. He did not speak to the man for the rest of the evening.

He woke up just before sunrise, pleasantly surprised that Matthew did not try to grope on him in his sleep. As Edd completed his morning routine, he thought about how to make peace with Eddy. Edd strolled down the Cul De Sac, thankful that he was back to wearing his own underwear. Lycra underwear was just so uncomfortable. Matthew's words swarm in his head like angry bees. What if his parents really didn't care about him? If they ever got found, the only things that would've changed would be that he would be living at his house again doing endless chores for them.

He made a couple of stops to the Candy Store and AKA Shoes on Main Street. With his purchases in hand, he walked back to the house. The Cul De Sac was quiet during the early hours. Not even some of the elderly neighbors were up yet. He wondered if it was too early to try to discuss things with Eddy. There was only way to find out. He knocked on the outside door of Eddy's room and waited for Eddy to answer the door. He was going to try his damnedest to make things right with Eddy.


	10. The McGee Girls

Edd knocked on the door again. He heard movement in Eddy's room. It sounded like Eddy was hopping out of bed and getting dressed. Every minute felt like an hour had passed. Edd wondered if he should turn around and go inside of the house. He knew that he was about to face whatever mood Eddy was in.

Eddy was the type to wear his emotions on his sleeve. If Eddy was in a foul mood, it became obvious to anyone within a four block radius that he was. If Eddy was excited about something, the whole neighborhood knew about it too. Eddy was extremely melodramatic and always had been. The only times that Eddy seemed to have any control over his emotions or was able to adequately mask his own emotions is if he was trying to scam someone. Even then there was a limit to how much Eddy could keep calm.

The door started to open. Edd felt like he was going to have a heart attack. He dared himself to face Eddy. The blue-haired teen didn't look so good. His dark eyes were completely glassy and bloodshot. His spiky dark navy hair clung to his sweaty forehead. Eddy reeked of alcohol. Edd's heart panged with guilt at seeing his friend like that. "I brought you a fresh pack of socks and a couple of jawbreakers."

"Double D, it's 7 am in the morning." Eddy looked irritated. He was still upset at Edd for the day before, "just hurry up and get inside."

Edd hurried inside to see the room destroyed. Dirty magazines were scattered at various parts of the room. Balled up tissues sat next to the magazines on the ground. He knew about Eddy's masturbation habits since they were around ten years old. So it wasn't that much of a surprise that Eddy would've touched himself when the doors were locked all night. The familiar vodka bottle stood right next to magazines and tissues. He didn't know if Eddy brought the bottle in himself or if Matthew brought it in for him. All he knew was that the alcohol bottle was now empty.

"Eddy, you need watch your alcohol intake. You're damaging your liver by consuming that much," Edd sat his gifts to Eddy on top of Eddy's dresser.

"Look if you're just going to nag at me, you can just get the fuck out!" Eddy snapped.

"I didn't come here to find faults with how you spend your time," Edd sat down on the bed, "I came here to try to make amends."

"Why? It's pretty damn obvious that neither Ed nor you care about me. I mean, what could be so damn important that you would keep from me?" Eddy gripped Edd's arms none too gently and shook him, "What the hell are you hiding?"

"Eddy, stop! Listen; there are some secrets that are better left unsaid."

"Bullshit!" Eddy spat.

All of his attempts to pacify Eddy had failed. Edd thought quickly on how he could appease Eddy. He decided to reveal one of his secrets to end the quarrel between him and Eddy, "Alright, I'll tell you. I'm - I'm a homosexual, Eddy. There, are you content now? I didn't want to tell you, because I didn't want to make you uncomfortable."

"That's it? That was all that you've been hiding from me?" Eddy stopped shaking him, "Geez Double D, you could've told before. I don't care that you're gay."

"Really? Thank you, Eddy," Edd smiled.

"Whatever," Eddy shrugged. Eddy was willing to accept that as part of the reason for Edd's strange behavior, but he was not completely satisfied with his answer. There had to be more to the story. He didn't know what, but there was something that he couldn't put his finger on. He knew both Edd and Ed like he knew the back of his hand. He would forgive Edd for now, but he still is going to try to keep an eye on him.

"I have good news though," Edd replied before they both heard Eddy's brother's Camaro started up in the driveway.

"Where's Matthew heading off to?" Eddy asked, listening to the car drive away.

"I believe he's going to pick up your nieces," Edd replied.

"Was that the news that you were trying to tell me?" Eddy asked.

"Yeah, it was." Edd answered.

"I can hardly wait. With my great teaching methods, they would be the second best scammers to hit the Cul de Sac!" Eddy boasted.

"Shouldn't you be getting ready for when your nieces arrive?" Edd suggested. He knew that smelling like alcohol would not have made a good impression on three kids.

"You're right. I need to show them how much of a cool uncle I can be!" Eddy quickly dashed into his personal bathroom to get ready. 15 minutes later, Eddy walked out of bathroom stark nude and completely soaked from his shower. Edd once again was unwillingly placed in a situation where he had to wrestle with his own hormones. He tried banish the thoughts from his head, but they came back twice as strong. He wanted Eddy to shove him on the bed and ravish him. He wanted to feel his friend's bare skin against his own. He turned his head, clearing his head from any impure thoughts before his desire became apparent.

Eddy put on a plain white shirt, a leather jacket, dark jeans, and silver necklace. "Do I look like a cool uncle or what?"

"You look fine," Edd responded, "I doubt your nieces are going to care much about your appearance."

"First impressions are everything, Double D!" Eddy stated, applying deodorant to his underarms. "How are they supposed to take me seriously if I don't look the part?"

"Instead of spending all of your time with them trying to teach three children how to perform scams; why don't you do more meaningful things with them? Why don't you teach them more about the family? They're probably dying to know what the paternal side of their family is like. You can also teach them about their heritage. You can also find out about their personalities." Edd suggested enthusiastically.

"Yeah, I guess I work those in," Eddy shrugged.

"Uh, Eddy. What is your ethnicity?" Edd asked.

"I'm English, Irish, and Italian, mostly Italian though." Eddy replied. "What about you, Sockhead?"

"Well, my mother was French-Canadian before she immigrated to the US when she was a child and my father has Austrian and Sicilian ancestry." Matthew's words about his parents reappeared in his own thoughts, "Eddy, do you think that my parents were horrible parents?"

"Eh," Eddy didn't know how to answer that question, "They were hardly around. I only have seen them like five times since I've known ya. The only thing that I really knew about them was the sticky notes they've left all over your house. Why did you ask that anyway?"

"I honestly have no clue why I did," Edd lied. Eddy's words brought him no comfort. He was starting to believe that Matthew could be right. The only protection from the outside world that his parents offered him was a roof over his head and hundreds of rules and chores that they had in place. He began to silently count the numerous rules he had broken since Matthew moved in. He consumed alcohol before his 21st birthday. He watched Rated R movies with Eddy even before Matthew moved in. He didn't report a crime when he knew that one had occurred in the case of Matthew's reckless driving. How could he when he was living under the same roof as the man and was under the man's control until Eddy's parents returned? Perhaps the worst one in his parent's eyes was that he willingly engaged in activities with Matthew that his parents would've disapproved of. What did all of that say about him as a person?

"What's wrong, Sockhead?" Eddy waved a hand in front of Edd's face.

"Nothing Eddy, I was just thinking about stuff," Edd replied.

"Okay," Eddy turned when he heard his door opened.

"My little ankle-biters are here. I have a few places to be, so you two are in charge of them until I get back. If you two do good job, you'll get a reward later," Matthew explained briefly, closing the door.

Eddy quickly pulled him across the house, looking for his nieces. Edd was fuming over Matthew just pawning his kids off on them. How irresponsible could that man be? As much as the man's actions infuriated him, he wouldn't let it show. Eddy was too excited to see his nieces to let anything put a damper on his excitement, not even his brother's actions.

When they headed into the living room, they saw three little girls looking around the living room. The three girls were conversing with each other, trying to solve the reason why they were there. Two of the children, the three year old and one of the five years, looked like the rest of the McGee family members or at least of the ones that Edd had seen before. The other five year old looked like she mostly took after her mother. All three of them had dark eyes like Matthew, Eddy, and their father. These kids were obviously Matthew's.

The brunette five year old spoke up, looking at the other two, "What are you two doing here? Is daddy throwing a party for me here?"

"No. If there was a party, where are the balloons?" The other five year old asked, twirling her dark blond hair, "I thought we were going to go to that Mondo carnival-thing again. Why did daddy drop us here?"

"That man can't be your daddy!" The brunette yelled, "That's my real daddy! Mom told me so!"

"That's not a funny joke, you know," The dark blonde yelled, crossing her arms.

"Wait," Eddy finally spoke up, "you three don't even know that you're sisters?"

"Sisters?" The two five years stared at Eddy like he had grown an extra head. "That's not possible!"

Eddy sighed, "Let's start off slow. What are your names? First and last names."

"Bonnie McGee," The blonde answered.

"My name is Dani McGee," The brunette five year old answered. She turned to the three year old, "I better check her toy bag."

"The three year old doesn't speak?" Eddy asked.

"No. I don't think she knows how," Dani answered, digging into the bag. "Her name is Edna McGee. How could it be true? We have different moms – and I wasn't told." Dani added quietly

"It's true, Dani. In fact, I know of three girls my age who each have a different father," Edd finally spoke. He didn't know what to say to the three girls. He couldn't believe that Matthew never introduced the three girls to each other and/or never introduced them as siblings. "If you don't mind me asking, how did you three meet?"

From what Edd could understand from the two girls' sides of the story, all three of them met at Mondo A-Go Go three times before during what might have been Matthew's visitation days. They arrived at the carnival at different times and only spent a few minutes with Matthew at the most. Matthew would have another carnival worker watch the kids while he did whatever. The girls have seen Matthew take the other girls to the other carnival worker, picked them up individually when it was time to leave, and heard from each other that they were each related to one of the carnies that worked there. However, they didn't put two and two together, explaining their confusion over being half-siblings. In fact, Dani and Bonnie both falsely believed that the carnie that watched over them was the other girl's father. The three girls did get a chance to bond – as friends- at the carnival. The carnival let them ride the rides, play games, and consume fresh corndogs and cotton candy while they were there.

The two girls described the three times that they visited Mondo A-Go Go with as much enthusiasm as they would have if they won the lottery. Edd supposed that for any kid, that would be a wonderful experience. It also seemed like the girls were not physically abused by Matthew, but it could be due to him not wanting to pay child support. Edd was certain that if the girls were placed in his custody or if the family court system wasn't watching Matthew closely, they would've been abused like Eddy had been.

"So who are you two?" Bonnie asked the two teens.

"You don't know who I am? You can't recognize the most awesome, good-looking, and coolest uncle that you'll ever have?" Eddy boasted, faking offense to her question, "Yep, I'm your Uncle Eddy. No, really. Your dad and I are bros. The guy next to me is Double D. He's a friend of mine."

"Why does he wear a sock on his head?" Edd's face fell when he heard that question from one of the girls. The three girls were giggling. The mute 3 year old was either selectively mute or didn't learn how to talk yet, because Edd could hear her giggle along with her two sisters.

Eddy chuckled, "that's a story for another day. For now, I'm going to show you pictures of the rest of family." The girls followed him into the hallway. Edd got over his shock over that question and followed behind the girls. Eddy grabbed one of the pictures from the wall and showed the three girls. "This is your grandma. She doesn't know about you three yet, but she would throw a fit over you guys. She would be trying to doll you three up and buy you new outfits."

"When can we meet her?" Dani asked.

"You can once she and dad get back. They're on a road trip at the moment." Eddy replied, putting the picture back and grabbing another one, "this is your granddad. He might be grump, but he's alright. Just don't tell your dad I said that." Eddy puts the framed picture back and grabs another one. "And this is your great-granddad. He's in a nursing home and I wouldn't let him drive you guys anywhere." Eddy shuddered at all of the memories he had of his granddad running past stop signs and getting in near-collisions with other cars.

"So which one has the most quarters?" Bonnie asked, "One of them has to have money to get us each Pop Rocks?"

"That's not a question that you should be asking!" Edd scolded her.

Eddy covered Double D's mouth, "what are you talking about Double D? These three are little entrepreneurs. They just don't know where they could earn an honest quarter." He turned to the girls, "you can earn quite a bit of money from scamming people. You just need supplies and a great idea. In fact," Eddy started whispering a plan to the starry-eyed girls, who drank in the information.

"I suppose money obsession is genetic in the McGee family," Edd mumbled, remembering the story on how Eddy's ancestor lost ownership of Peach Creek in the first place.

The girls sat behind a stand that read "Hot Sauce Challenge: 25 cents." Edd was the one that reluctantly designed the sign for the girls. He wanted to spare the girls the years of ridicule that Eddy, Ed, and he experienced that was partially was the result from them creating numerous scans. The girls waited impatiently for a "sucker" while they sat beside their father's homemade hot sauce bottle. Three plastic cups that sat on the stand were filled with the hot sauce. Eddy and Edd sat on a couple of lawn chairs in the middle of the yard to keep an eye on the girls.

Kevin and Nazz started to walk past Eddy's house when they spotted the stand. Nazz had learned how to walk with crutches with ease in the past few days. Nazz read the sign aloud, "Hot sauce challenge, only a quarter? I think I'll pass!"

"What are you three twerps up to?" Kevin asked them, suspiciously. After all of the years of dealing with Ed, Edd, and Eddy's scams, he had grown suspicious of any homemade signs and stands in the Cul de Sac.

"Nothing, we're just trying to run a business. You're just too chicken to try it!" Bonnie taunted.

"You little dorkette, my family vacationed in Mexico and I've ate actual hot peppers that is much hotter than what your parents bought at the store." Kevin argued.

"It's my dad's secret recipe, smarty pants!" Bonnie retorted.

"Kev, why don't you humor them?" Nazz suggested, "They're just kids!"

"Ugh, fine!" Kevin put a quarter on the stand and took one of the plastic cups. The quarter was quickly snatched up by Dani and put in a jar next to the hot sauce. Kevin inspected the cup. It looked like regular hot sauce to him. He gulped down the hot sauce and quickly realized his mistake. It felt like he drunk down fire and he made a desperate grab for Nazz's water bottle. "I'm sorry, Nazz!" He quickly gulped down the water. He turned towards the three giggling girls that sold him the liquid fire, "that was dirty trick, you little dorkettes!"

"Hey, Shovel Chin! The point of the challenge is not to cry about drinking the hot sauce afterward!" Eddy cackled at the sight. He turned to Edd, who was snoozing on the lawn chair.

"I suppose these three belong to you?" Kevin folded his arms.

"Sort of, they're my nieces," Eddy replied with pride.

Kevin's grew pale when he heard the word "nieces." They were the spawn of that bastard in Eddy's house. One word to their daddy from them about how he yelled at them and he might as well start writing his own will. Kevin did not want to become a victim to Eddy's brother's wrath again. That man didn't even look for a reason to physically harm someone, other than they were in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Nazz elbowed him playfully, "relax, Kevin! It was just a hot sauce challenge. I'm sure they meant no harm."

"Right." Kevin rubbed the back of his neck and faced the girls, "keep the change."

The three girls ran to Eddy excitedly and hugged his knees while he patted them each on top of their heads. "Uncle Eddy! We made our first quarter!" Dani got out the quarter and waved it in front of Eddy's face, looking for the teen's approval at what they had done.

"That's nice, girls!" Eddy replied, "hey, c'mon! Let go of my legs already!"

Edd slowly started to wake up from his nap and watched as the three girls wouldn't let Eddy's legs go. Edd couldn't help but smile at the scene. Eddy had a nurturing side. Edd had seen that side of Eddy quite a few times in the past, once when Eddy was teaching Jimmy how to be like him. He also remembered how motherly Eddy became when he touched a boomerang once when they were kids. Edd started to wonder if the boomerang actually had them acting out their repressed personalities rather than their opposite personalities as they had originally believed.

"Help, Double D! They're attacking me!" Eddy struggled to walk with all three girls hugging his legs.

"Carry us around, Uncle Eddy!" Dani squealed with laughter.

"Not a chance, Eddy." Edd replied, "This is too much of a touching moment!"

"You sadist!" Eddy mumbled.

Kevin and Nazz watched the scene, "It's really sweet. Don't you think so, Kevin?"

"Yeah, it's so sweet that I'm about to heave!" Kevin replied dully.

"C'mon Kevin," Nazz teasingly poked Kevin's chest, "I think you would be really great with kids too. Anyway, I need to head home before my mom starts to fix lunch without me. Catch ya later, Kev!"

Kevin waved, his face getting as red as his hat. He walked a short distance to his house mumbling, "Why does she say weird things like that to me? I just don't get her. Maybe I should just tell her how I feel."

Three hours have passed of Eddy getting chased around by his nieces in the yard. Eddy lost most of his energy after an hour and wobbled around during the next two hours. Edd guessed it to be around lunchtime. He should start fixing lunch for Eddy and the girls soon. He was still ticked that Matthew left the house, but there was nothing that he could have done about it. Like clockwork, the man pulled into the driveway after being gone for several hours. `_Well speak of the devil,' _Edd thought to himself.


	11. The McGee Girls, Part Two

It seemed that any of Matthew's interactions with Eddy or his limited interactions with his own children was like a game of chess. They were pawns to Matthew's own selfishness. The girls were naïve to Matthew's manipulative nature and Eddy was selectively blind to his own brother's manipulation of him. Edd felt his blood boil just thinking about how someone can even feel that way about their own blood relatives, especially about three little girls that shared half of his DNA.

Edd had to get away from the scene before he did something completely irrational and out of character. He decided to make sandwiches for Eddy, the girls, and Matthew. It was something quick and easy. He was so exhausted. It felt like he has not slept at all even though he slept for most of the night. Maybe a quick read would help keep him awake after he prepared lunch.

He heard footsteps approach him. He hoped that it was Eddy or the girls being impatient over food. He turned to find Matthew standing by the door. He turned back to his task. Confronting the man would be foolish. Especially since Eddy was having a wonderful time with his nieces. "Lunch will be done in just a second. I just have to cut the sandwiches." Edd replied.

He almost sliced his hand open when he felt Matthew press up against him. He felt every curve of the man's torso against his back. The man's crotch was pressed against his bottom. Edd panicked, wondering what Matthew was trying to do. To his embarrassment, his cock started to become erect. His hormones would not quit torturing him. He saw the 24 year old's hand reach over him to grab a couple of sandwiches. Once he had gotten the sandwiches he wanted, Matthew leaned against the island across from the counter Edd was working at, inspected the inside of the sandwich, and took a bite out of it.

Edd whipped himself around and pointed at Matthew, "You could have waited."

"I was hungry," Matthew shrugged. He grinned impishly at the teen, "It looks like you're getting a bit excited there. I suppose we can be quick. Just drop your pants and head into the kitchen closet. If not, Pipsqueak or the ankle-biters would catch you like that."

"Have you gone mad?" Edd hissed, trying to cover himself with the front of his shirt, "I would rather they catch me in my current state than catch me in a broom closet with you! You can banish that lust-filled, half-baked idea of yours out of your deranged mind immediately!"

"If you say so. Well, it's time to call everyone for lunch since you would rather have them see you with a boner," Matthew acted like he was about to call them into the kitchen with them.

"Wait!" Edd panicked. Sure Eddy would only laugh at him and joke about him getting sexually aroused over the thought of cleaning and doing chores, but Eddy's nieces would not understand what was happening to him. Edd didn't even want to imagine the mess that it would've led to. He clenched the man's shirt desperately, "L-listen, I'll do what you want. I don't have much money on me, but I can tidy up your room. Just help me out of this humiliating situation!"

"I don't want your money or anything cleaned," Matthew smirked at him as he roughly cupped the younger male's crotch, causing Edd whimper, "I want you, end of story. Come to my room after Pipsqueak goes to sleep. You have a choice not to go through with it if you believe that Eddy would understand your own perverted thoughts, but I wouldn't hold my breath."

`_Dear Lord, what kind of trap did I put myself into?' _Edd fretted. He instantly regretted his words, wishing that he could take them back without having one of his secrets revealed. He and Eddy were under Matthew's control even when the man was not around. Anything that Edd did, Matthew turned around on him like a twisted game of chess. Unlike Eddy, Edd was not completely blind to what the man was capable of. However, that was nothing to be proud of. Matthew still used his secrets and his physical attraction towards the man to toy with him.

Matthew made sure to help him get rid of his erection alright. The man pinned him down and poured half a bag of ice down the front of his pants. While the ice did help relieve his problem, he was left was another mortifying problem; he had cold ice cubes in his pants. He violently shook his pant legs, trying to remove the ice cubes from his pants. Then Eddy burst into the kitchen, wondering why Edd was screaming like he had gotten murdered and ended up the next victim of Matthew's devious pranks.

Edd and Eddy dashed into Eddy's personal bathroom. The top of Eddy's head looked like a strange fruit hat. Whipped cream was smearing into Eddy's scalp. Pickles, green olives, and watermelon were entangled in Eddy's spiky hair. Shivering, Edd scooped a handful of ice from his pants and tossed them into the shower stall. As Eddy scrubbed his hair in the sink, he called his brother every insult in the English language under his breath. Edd considered chastising Eddy for his foul language, but knew from experience that it wouldn't have done any good, especially if Eddy was pissed.

After they were done, it was time to check on the girls. The state of Eddy's living room was a disaster. They were in the bathroom for only five minutes and Eddy's nieces had completely trashed the room. The table was turned over as if it was used as a shield. Cups of fruit punch were turned over, sandwich crusts were in the floor, one of Eddy's mother's vases was broken, Eddy's nieces were squabbling over the remote to the TV, and Matthew was nowhere in sight. Edd was amazed how much of a mess three children can make in just a short amount of time.

"That's enough!" Edd yelled, trying to separate the girls from one another, "you three should be ashamed of yourselves! Your mothers didn't send you here to act ill-mannered!"

"Huh?" Bonnie asked as she was pulled off of her sisters.

"You three destroyed the living room!" Eddy yelled pointing at the couch, "Go sit on the couch or I'm not taking you three to the candy store later! Now Double D has to clean up the mess you three created."

"Oh sure! Leave me to take care of mess!" Edd replied sarcastically.

Eddy shrugged, putting Bonnie on the couch, "you're used to picking up after other people anyway!"

"Don't toy with me, Eddy," Edd huffed as he went into the kitchen to get cleaning supplies.

The girls were not content with the punishment for their misbehavior. The petulant children cried, kicked their feet, and attempt to escape from the coach. Typical behavior of the average child, Edd supposed. Thankfully Eddy's mother had some vinegar in the pantry. Eddy sat on the chair and watched the girls like a watchdog – or an actual father figure. Edd had to admire how mature Eddy can be on rare occasions.

Edd noticed Ed entering into the house from the front door. "Ed! You're tracking mud. Messy, messy."

"Hey, Lumpy. Don't you know how to knock on the door?" Eddy asked.

Ed looked around and grinned, "Sure am, Eddy!" Ed turned to the three girls on the couch, "I would like three boxes of tag-a-longs please!" The girls looked as confused as Ed was. The girls were currently giving everyone the silent treatment in an act of immature silent rebellion and tuned everyone out. Ed asked them another question, "Do you not have tag-a-longs?"

"They're not girl scouts, Ed!" Eddy snickered.

"They're not?" Ed looked at the girls again in confusion, "hey Eddy! Why do you have three little girls at your house?"

"Gee Ed, can't you tell the resemblance between them and yours truly?" Eddy asked.

Ed looked between Eddy and the girls, "Cool! Eddy had babies like that guy in that one movie where a mad scientist experimented on a man and got him pregnant! Your girls look as cute and cuddly as my sponge collection and have your eyes!"

"Gee Ed, I wonder what goes through your head sometimes," Eddy muttered deadpanned.

"Ed, I too ponder the extent that TV and comic books have rotted your brain for you to consider that as a logical explanation for the girls," Edd said, finishing up cleaning the living room.

"So who is the daddy?" Ed asked.

"My bro is their dad!" Eddy exclaimed, hoping that Ed would finally figure it out.

"Isn't that illegal?" Ed asked.

Eddy made a face, "What the hell, Ed! The girls are my nieces. My brother knocked up three women and created them. Understand now, birdbrain?"

Ed nodded his head, "Can I hug them?"

Ed crushed the three girls in a tight hug before Eddy could tell Ed that the girls were in timeout. The girls struggled between the odor coming from Ed's body and the tight affectionate grip they were in. Edd could hear them complaining about the smell of Ed's underarm.

"Hey Ed, I think the girls have smelled enough of your skunk pits for one day," Eddy stated.

"Really?" Edd was surprised that Ed was careful to sit the girls down gently. Then again, Ed had a little sister and knew from experience that little children could break bones easily. Ed's mind was a complete mystery. There was no way of telling what Ed understood and what he didn't. He was the type of person that can surprise people with a rare moment of insight and then go back to doing or talking about nonsensical things.

"Hey kids, would you like to meet Sheldon?" Ed pulled out a rancid piece of cheese from his pocket. Edd lost count of how many Sheldons Ed has had throughout the years, all he knew was that each Sheldon had smelled as foul as the rest of them. Even the smell of Sheldon from 10 feet away was enough to make Edd gag. Ed would not have gone through so many Sheldons if Eddy and Edd have not been covertly disposing of Ed's previous rotten cheeses and telling Ed a little white lie about the Sheldons moving to France.

"Eww, it stinks worst than he does!" Dani exclaimed. The girls shrieked and ran to go hide away from the rotten cheese.

"Little girls are so weird!" Ed proclaimed.

"Put Sheldon away, Ed." Edd chided. "Someone could really become severely ill from smelling him and you could lose him." Edd added in the last part, hoping that Ed listen to him.

Ed nodded and did as he was asked. He cooed at the piece of cheese as if it was an infant, "ah! The little guy looks tired! Nighty night Sheldon!"

Bonnie, Dani, and Edna reluctantly came back into the living room once Eddy informed them that Sheldon was gone. With the girls' timeout completely forgotten, the Eds tried to figure out how to keep the girls preoccupied until their mothers shown up. Ed, of course, came up with some strange impractical ideas that probably came from some B-rated horror movie that he watched. Edd and Eddy pretended to take Ed's suggestion into consideration to spare Ed's feelings. Edd suggested that the girls should play some board games to help increase the girls' intelligence. Eddy quickly dismissed Edd's idea as "boring." Eddy popped in a movie for the girls, plopping down on the chair after the movie was in.

"Really Eddy?" Edd folded his arms.

"What? Can't I have some rest before their moms show up?" Eddy asked.

"Sure," Eddy did seem like he needed his rest. "Is there something you need anything, Eddy?"

"There is," Eddy tapped Bonnie on the shoulder, "hey, Double D is going to head to the candy store to buy you pop rocks. Where's that quarter you earned?"

Bonnie pulled the coin from her pocket, "here it is, Uncle Eddy!"

Edd was handed the coin, "I'll return in 15 minutes."

Edd left the house a bit after the movie started. Eddy put in the Disney movie _Jungle Book_ for the girls. While it was not a bad choice for a movie for the girls to watch at their leisure, the movie hardly stayed true to its source. Yet again, this was nothing rare when it came to Disney movies. Edd made his second trip to the candy store that day. The price of pop rocks had jumped up since he was a kid. Pop rocks used to cost 5 cents and now they cost 8 cents. In a couple of years or so, a quarter wouldn't be able cover the cost of Pop rocks for all three of them.

Edd returned to the house with the candy. The girls instantly tore open the candy wrappers and inhaled the candy inside. Seeing the pop rocks reminded of Edd of the time when Ed, Eddy and him wanted to test out the infamous urban legend about pop rocks and soda back when they were nine years old. Eddy heard about the urban legend from Matthew and wanted to use the myth as a scam. He had chosen Jimmy to be the guinea pig of that experiment and tied the boy to a tree, forcing him to ingest gallons of soda and pop rocks, which they gotten from Jonny in exchange for granola. The only result from the experiment was that Jimmy had gotten a stomach ache from drinking so much soda. The myth was debunked. The other thing they learned from the experiment was that Sarah could throw someone like an Olympic javelin thrower when she had found out what the Eds had done.

Edd sat down and decided to watch the rest of the movie with them. The movie was playing the scene between Kaa and Mowgli in the tree where Kaa tries to manipulate Mowgli into trusting him in order for the boy to become the python's next lunch. Even though the snake in the movie was portrayed as a bumbling comic relief, it was still portrayed as being very cunning.

"Hey Eddy, what happened to the snake in your brother's room?" Ed asked

"Mom found it and threw it outside when we were twelve. She hates snakes," Eddy replied.

"The snake would've expired within the year anyway. Matthew never bought a heat lamp for it and unlike mammals; snakes can't produce the body heat necessary to protect them from getting hypothermia during the colder seasons." Edd explained.

The girls' mothers had shown up to the house at different times during the hour. Matthew had arrived in the living room before the girls' mothers have shown up. The only thing Edd could say about the mothers was that they were friendly, judging how the women interacted with them and the girls, and they definitely came from the city, judging from their appearance. Bonnie's nineteen year old mother especially was scantily clad in a bikini top, short blue jean shorts, a pair of sandals, and a lip ring. The girls were all excitedly asking their mothers when they could visit again while the mothers were chatting up Matthew and Eddy to see if the girls have behaved themselves.

When Eddy's nieces and their mothers had left, Eddy had received his payment for watching the girls in a paper bag. Ed and Edd sat on Eddy's bed, waiting to see what Eddy had gotten from Matthew. Edd had a terrible feeling regarding whatever was in the bag and looked away.

"This is what I'm talking about, boys," Eddy yelled several seconds later. "We've hit the motherlode!"

"Cool! That looks like the stuff my dad smokes when he gets home from work," Ed remarked.

Curiosity got the better of Edd and he dared to look at what Eddy had received. It was a Ziploc bag that was halfway filled with marijuana. "Good lord!" Edd exclaimed as he already felt a migraine coming along.

* * *

A/N: I own none of the pop culture references that are made in this fanfic, obviously.


	12. Abstinence

"Eddy, I beg of you, please dispose of that!" Edd pleaded with his friend, "Just by possessing that, you're breaking the law!"

"Relax, Sockhead," Eddy replied, "we're not going to be in possession of it for very long."

"Dare I ask why that is," Folding his arm, Edd eyed his longtime friend suspiciously.

"Get a clue, Double D! All three of us are going to smoke this baby up," Eddy patted Edd on the cheek, pleading at him with those dark eyes that Edd feel in love with throughout the years.

Edd held his ground, "absolutely not! I will not partake in destroying my brain development. Thank you very much! Cannabis use can lead to detrimental physiological and psychological side effects."

Eddy nodded uninterested as Edd explained all of the side effects from marijuana use, "Blah, blah, it could affect my and what little memory and concentration Ed has left. Honestly Sockhead, what is one bag of marijuana going to do to us?" Eddy turned to Ed, "can you understand a word Double D said?"

"Double D was giving us the test answers for next year's homework?" Ed asked.

Eddy chuckled, "no Ed. He would rather stay here and read his science books than smoke weed with us!"

"But we have always done stuff together," Ed sniffled.

Eddy patted Ed on the back and replied in mock hurt, "he thinks we're a bad influence on him! Doesn't it just break your heart, big guy?" Ed sniffled into Eddy's shirt. Ed looked up at Edd with puppy dog eyes and pouted his lower lip at him.

"Ed, you can't possibly assume I'm the bad guy in this. I'm only looking out for Eddy's and your health." He also didn't trust Matthew's intentions of giving Eddy a half a bag of pot, but he wasn't going to voice his concern over that issue.

"But you won't be there when I get a boo-boo!" Ed blubbered.

"How can you say that, Ed? I'll always be there for you and Eddy." Edd sighed in defeat. It didn't take much for Edd to give in to Eddy's demands, especially when Ed was involved. Each one of them was lost without the other. Ed would cry a river if he believed that his friends were disappointed in him. Eddy would drink himself into a stupor, judging from Eddy's actions the night before. Edd would do anything to try to keep the group together, even if it meant sacrificing his own good health to do so. "Look, you two. You need drug paraphernalia. "

"Shit," Eddy cursed, "where the hell am I get a bowl or a bong? Matthew is not going to lend his to us."

"Well, I guess you're just going to return this hazardous plant back to your brother," Edd stated.

"Don't sound so excited there, Nixon! I know just the guy who has one," Eddy replied.

"Drats," Edd muttered.

The purple retro van parked outside of the playground. After the kids in the cul-de-sac grown up, the playground was mostly used as the occasional hangout place for teenagers to sit on the playground equipment and smoke, chat with each other, or to just to relax after a hard day. Since Matthew's reckless driving incident, the playground equipment was out of commission until the city rebuilds it – if they decide to. The youngest residents in the cul-de-sac are Sarah and Jimmy and they were both twelve. Whether or not the city decided to rebuild the playground was yet to be seen.

Eddy walked through the rubble of broken playground equipment towards the trees while Edd and Ed watched him from the van. Eddy waited by the tree and began counting down with his fingers. Once he was done, Jonny fell out of the tree with a broken branch stuck to his head. Plank fell out of the tree a second after Jonny did. Jonny still carried around and talked to Plank. Some ingrained habits were just hard to break for some people.

Jonny pulled off the branch that had a vice grip on his skull and rubbed his head, "Geez Plank, you would think that some of these branches would be sturdy enough for us to nap in." He listened to the inanimate object, "what you mean I'm getting too heavy to be climbing trees?"

"Hey Jonny boy!" Eddy greeted as Jonny lifted himself up and pulled a twig out of his wild hair.

"Hey Eddy," Jonny greeted back, "how have you been?"

"I've been alright," Eddy shrugged, "listen, I need to ask you a favor."

"What kind of favor?" Jonny asked.

"Follow me back to the van and we can talk there," Eddy headed back to the van with Jonny trailing behind him. Eddy opened the back door of the van for Jonny to crawl into the back and shut the door behind him. Jonny looked from Ed to Edd nervously. Edd always had the impression that Jonny either suffered from social phobia or low self-confidence and the scene before him was enough proof of that. Edd and Ed greeted Jonny. That seemed to put Jonny more at ease inside of the van.

"There's nothing to worry about, Jonny. Eddy just wants to ask to borrow something from you." Edd stated to soothe the anxious teen. He was a bit nervous himself. To ask someone that they've known for years for drug paraphernalia was audacious even for Eddy. Eddy climbed into the driver's side several seconds later.

"You gotta like your van, Eddy," Jonny complimented.

"It was just something I remodeled with my dad at his car shop. The guys and I hung out in it when it was still in the junkyard" Eddy replied, "so do you still smoke weed?"

Jonny rubbed the back of his neck, "I still smoke it every once in a while, why?"

"I got some weed, but I've kinda in a spot," Eddy explained, "I don't have anything to smoke it with."

Jonny listened to Plank before he answered, "I've got a bowl in my pocket if the fall didn't smash it into pieces." Jonny pulled a tie-dyed marijuana bowl out of his pocket. "It still looks like it's in one piece."

"So about lending your bowl to us?" Eddy reached for it, but received a smack on the hand for his effort.

"Not so fast!" Jonny yelled, "Plank says that we'll loan you the pipe for a trade."

"A trade? What do I look like?" Eddy muttered to no one in particular.

"I'll lend you the pipe in exchange for a quarter of the ganja that you've got." Jonny bargained.

"Fine, you can smoke it with us in the junkyard," Eddy relented.

"Ah, Eddy," Edd spoke up. He could not sacrifice his own morals and health just to appease Eddy. Such notion was absurd. He quickly thought of a way to get out of smoking marijuana without upsetting Ed or Eddy. "I'm feeling under the weather. My apologies, Eddy. I'll have to partake in this kind of illegal activity with you gentlemen some other time."

"It's cool, Double D." Eddy replied, starting up the van, "I can drop you off at the house on the way to the junkyard."

"Thank you, Eddy. I appreciate it," Edd's plan worked better than he had expected. Though he felt guilty for feigning illness just to get out of a situation, he was at least thankful that he would remain abstinent from potentially harmful drugs.

After Eddy had dropped him off at the house, Edd spent his time reading a used college textbook he gotten at a yard sale a year ago about the different types of illegal drugs, but it only made his fears regarding Ed and Eddy worse. He pretty much gave them permission to smoke pot without him. He debated himself on if he should check on them. His train of thought was interrupted by the door in Eddy's room opening and closing.

Edd chose to ignore it. He already knew who came inside of the room. All of the time he fretted over the marijuana, he almost had forgotten about the man's indecent proposition in the kitchen. He hoped that the man could at least wait until later on and give him a bit more time to think of a way to dodge the issue without getting his secrets exposed. He didn't want to sleep with the guy. However, Matthew knew the correct buttons to push with him to make him change his mind.

"Looks like we both have the house to ourselves," Edd could hear the lust dripping out of the man's voice. Edd's book was quickly snatched out of his hands, "What's wrong, Princess? Did your boyfriend leave you here all alone with me?"

Edd looked up at the man, "if you must know, Eddy went to go smoke your little gift without me. I refused to take part in something so unhealthy!"

"I'm not complaining, Sockhead. It just means that we have several hours to get to know each other better, unless you want Pipsqueak to learn about how dirty you really are." Matthew added huskily. Before Edd could protest, Matthew pushed Edd's torso into the mattress and crawled on top of him, breathing heavily.

"Matthew, wait! This is too sudden! This is Eddy's room! We can't have sexual relations on Eddy's bed. Just stop and listen to reason!" Edd protested.

Matthew sunk his teeth into the flesh between his collarbone and his neck, causing Edd to cry out in pain and in masochistic pleasure. The man's chapped lips and teeth against his tender skin were causing Edd's brain to become dizzy with pleasure. Matthew lifted his head up to answer the teen below him, "What Pipsqueak doesn't know won't kill him. Besides, Pipsqueak is going to expect the same out of you when you become his little housewife or whatever."

"What makes you so sure?" Edd questioned, defiantly.

Matthew quickly pointed to the dirty magazines scattered around the room, "Does that answer your question? It's not so bad, Princess. The only thing you need to do is relax and let yourself experience this, since you're clearly enjoying yourself. "

Matthew rubbed his crotch against Edd's own, causing more of those moans that he liked so much. It took most of his willpower not to rip the scrawny teen's clothes off and bury himself inside of Edd, fucking him until the teen shouted his name like a wanton whore. He removed both of their shirts. The teen's shirt was preventing him from seeing Edd in all of his glory. The teen did not have a muscle to him. Matthew took in the sight of the light beige skin before him. He looked down at Edd's pants and found that the sixteen year old was as hard as he was. Edd was obviously turned on by the sweet friction between both of their bodies.

Edd felt Matthew kneading on his chest. He let out a soft moan. The man's rough hands slid against his sensitive skin like leather against silk. His nipples hardened at the man's rough treatment. The 24 year old smirked down at him, "you seem like you're really enjoying this. So much for your sweet and innocent act, huh?"

"Just shut up and continue!" Edd gasped, biting his own lip to prevent himself from moaning loudly. Matthew lowered his head to take one of the dusky nipples into his mouth. He teased the nipple with his tongue. Edd's moans grew louder and his erection became stiffer. He could tell that the teen was close to having an orgasm.

Matthew withdrew his mouth and lowered himself down to Edd's pelvic area. Matthew unbuttoned Edd's pants and pulled his zipper down. Edd gasped out, "What are you doing?"

"You'll see," Matthew replied, successfully pulling down Edd's pants, leaving Edd in just his boxers. Lust overpowered any rational thought that Edd had and he let pleasure consume whatever reservations he had regarding the activity.

His genitals were released from their confines and stood erect underneath Matthew's chin. Edd tried to hide his erection from the man's prying eyes, but Matthew held his legs in place. Matthew smirked and greedily took Edd's erection into his mouth. He hated giving blowjobs, but it was just a means to an end. If he can get Edd to cum for him, it would be a lot easier to get him to do other things.

He bobbed his head up and down on the shaft. The teen's cock was an average size, so it was not too challenging to suck him off. By the way Edd's toes curled his toes and the way he moaned; Matthew knew that Edd could not hold off an orgasm forever. He bobbed his head faster until the teen finally came inside of his mouth. The man gave Edd's cock a few more sucks before swallowing Edd's seed.

Time was an interesting thing. Never would he have imagined that he would have reduced the prepubescent boy that challenged him years ago to a sweaty boneless heap on his younger brother's bed. There was something exhilarating about the whole idea. He looked the teen in the face. Edd's cheeks were tinted pink as he slowly came down from his sexual high. "Pretty intense, huh?" Matthew finally spoke up, "so quit looking like I asked you to murder someone for me. You sure as hell didn't feel guilty about it when you were getting sucked off."

"I threw away most of my morals within the last hour and had sexual relations with my best friend's brother on his bed. I'm at least allowed some time feel guilty over it." Edd mumbled sourly.

"Whatever," Matthew shrugged, "It's not like Pipsqueak would know what happened here anyway."

"I would though," Edd argued. Even the thought of looking Eddy in the eye after what he allowed to happen was terrifying. It felt like he cheated on Eddy with Matthew, even though the two of them were only friends.

"Look if you want to beat yourself up over letting me to give you a blowjob, that's on you, but we're not finished here."

Edd didn't have the energy to argue with Matthew anymore. It was obvious that Matthew did whatever he wanted and disregarded how it may affect another person. Edd might as well be explaining the immorality of the situation to a brick wall. "What do you mean by that?"

"I done you a pretty big favor just a minute ago, so it's time for you to return the favor," Matthew explained suggestively, laying back against the bed with his arms folded under his head. Edd knew what Matthew wanted him to do.

Edd hesitantly unbutton the man's pants and pulled down on the zipper. The man's boxers tented from his erection. Edd caressed the man's erection, shyly. He was not sure if he was off to a good start. The only person that he ever pleasured before was himself and that didn't count. He just wanted to get the man off as quickly as possible. The awkwardness of giving Matthew pleasure was unbearable, even if he did consider the man attractive.

Matthew yanked his own boxers down, freeing his erection from its confines. Edd was shocked when he seen what the man had below the beat. He was not the type to feel envious of other guys having a larger penis size than him, but he was still shocked by the fact that Matthew was larger than him by at least three inches. Not only that, but Matthew's genitals were also completely bare. Edd knew of female porn stars shaving themselves down below regularly, thanks to Eddy and his knowledge of anything involving porn, but he had never heard of guys shaving themselves before.

"Go ahead, Princess. Put it into your mouth." Matthew instructed. The raven-haired adolescent took the cock into his hand and stroked it a couple of times. Pre-ejaculate leaked from the tip. Edd grimaced at what he was about to do. He took Matthew's cock into his mouth. He was only able to get half of the man's erection into his mouth without gagging.

Matthew grunted with approval and commanded him to stroke whatever he couldn't fit into his mouth. Edd couldn't think of an activity that was as mortifying and unsanitary as what he was doing at the moment. He could keep telling himself that he was doing it to keep his friendship with Eddy intact, but he was not sure that was entirely the case anymore. Edd absolutely loathed the man's personality. Matthew was a selfish, sociopathic bully. However, that did not stop Edd from being remotely curious about what a physical relationship with Matthew would be like. He continued his pace. He jaw and his wrists were starting to hurt after a few minutes. Inexperience made the task harder to do after minutes have gone by.

He nearly choked when Matthew pushed his head down further down. Edd figured that Matthew must have been getting close, because Matthew was breathing erratically as he thrust into Edd's mouth. Matthew kept a firm hold on Edd's head as he felt his peak approaching. After a few more thrusts, he released inside of Edd's mouth. After his climax, Matthew tilted Edd's chin up, "You were not half bad for a beginner, Princess. Now you just need to swallow it."

Edd hesitantly swallowed down the man's semen, which left a weird aftertaste in his mouth. "There you go," Matthew purred, "We'll have to do it again sometime soon."

"Uh, sure." Edd didn't know who he was becoming. After engaging in a sexual act with Matthew, he wasn't even sure if he was the same person that he once was. He still felt the same way about his friends. He still could explain the anatomy of a queen bee. He still could work on inventions if he had use of his own garage again. He just felt like a dirtier version of himself.


	13. Lies

Guilt weighed heavily on Edd's conscious. Trying to hide the evidence was his knee-jerk reaction to the current situation. It was ironic that after so many years of patronizing both Ed and Eddy to be more truthful even in dire situations, he was now doing everything he could to cover up what happened. During his shower, he scrubbed every inch of his body in a futile effort to remove any microscopic evidence that he let himself be defiled. After a while, he was just scrubbing his skin red.

He caught his reflection in the mirror after he had gotten out of the shower. Scrubbing may get rid of any trace of saliva and semen from his body, but it didn't hide the dark hickey upon the skin in the region of where his trapezius was located. He ran his index finger across it, remembering how much he actually enjoyed receiving it. He could only hope that it would be covered by a shirt.

After washing his mouth out, he quickly changed into his pajama set and his shoes before tossing his dirty clothes into the hamper. Matthew had already gotten dressed before Edd had gotten into the shower. Edd could care less about what Matthew was doing at that point as long as the man was not harming any of the neighbors.

He really needed to check up on Ed and Eddy. However, there was still one more task he needed to complete before he could walk over to the junkyard. He stripped Eddy's bedding and carried it to the washer to start a load. Edd let out a sigh of relief. Eddy probably would not suspect a thing. Edd could pretend that everything was normal for another day.

The night air caressed his face when he stepped outside. He might look a bit eccentric for walking out of the house in his pajamas, but he didn't care. The only thing on his mind was heading to the junkyard to find Ed and Eddy. The junkyard was only a six minute walk from Eddy's house. He found Eddy's van parked at the end of the lane.

When he reached the junkyard, the smell of burning trash was strong in the air. As he followed the smell, the obvious smell of marijuana accompanied the first smell. He had to be getting close to them. He finally found them in the middle of the junkyard surrounding a makeshift fire pit. Johnny was smoking off of the bowl while Eddy watched Ed was sprawled out on the ground, kicking his feet around like an infant.

"I think I'm turning into a turtle, Eddy. Turn me over! I'm lying on my shell." Ed laughed nonsensically. Ed extended his hand towards Eddy.

"You're not turning into a turtle, Monobrow! You're just stoned and have the brain of one." Eddy quipped, "Ed, you don't need help lifting yourself back up!"

"But Eddy, my butt is falling asleep!"

"Your head's asleep," Eddy retorted.

"C'mon Eddy! Please!" Ed pleaded.

"No, you're a big boy, Ed. Lift yourself up!" Eddy turned when he heard Edd chuckle, "it's about time you showed up. Ed almost ate Jonny's bowl I don't know how many times now."

"I came to make sure you, Ed, or Jonny didn't get arrested," Edd replied, taking a seat next to Eddy.

"You wish. The cops in Peach Creek are so brain dead, Ed could do their jobs better than they can," Eddy rolled his eyes, "did you just get out of the shower? Not that I really care, but didn't Dad scold you over using the shower more than once a day?"

"Yes, well, I'm sorry I went against your father's wishes, but I was feeling under the weather and didn't want to be spread bacteria around," Edd hoped that it was a convincing lie.

"Eh, whatever," Eddy patted his stomach, "Fuck I'm starving. I'm craving some potato chips or maybe even a nice greasy cheese pizza."

"You didn't bring snacks? Plank and I have the munchies," Jonny chimed in. He disposed of the ash and put the bowl back in his jean pocket. "It's getting late, guys. Plank and I need to get something to eat before we hit the sack."

"Yeah, we should probably be going," Eddy agreed, putting the bag containing the rest of the marijuana into his pocket. "Get up Lumpy or Double D and I will scrub you down with soap and water."

Ed quickly shot up from the ground and screamed, "No soap for Ed!"

"Goodness Ed. Your lack of hygiene does have its benefits sometimes," Edd marveled at how quickly Ed got up after hearing the word "soap."

Edd became the designated driver as soon as the four teen boys reached the van after putting out the bonfire. No other people were walking or driving on the lane, so they were in the clear to drive without any issues. Eddy sat in the passenger's seat while Jonny and Ed sat on the waterbed in the back. The lane was large enough to have one vehicle drive down the pathway without colliding into anything. However, there was not enough room to turn the van around. Edd drove the van backwards out of the lane, watching the rear-view mirror as he drove. Once he gotten out of the lane, he dropped Ed home first. Edd could only hope that Sarah was asleep. If the redhead wasn't, Edd hated to think how much trouble Ed would've gotten into.

Jonny was next person to get dropped off. After bidding Jonny goodbye, they watched Jonny walk into his house. Even though they lived in a quiet suburban neighborhood, it will still better to make sure that their acquaintance made it inside safely. Before Jonny made it inside, he remarked to Plank how there was never a dull moment in the cul-de-sac with "those three goofballs" around.

When they got home, Edd got out of the car and gazed at the nighttime sky. Edd began tracing what constellations he could make out from the nighttime sky, playing connect-the-dots with the stars. Eddy got out after him and patted his own stomach, "If I don't get something to eat soon, I'll consider eating the junk underneath Ed's bed."

"We wouldn't want that to happen," Edd replied, half paying attention to what Eddy was saying. He continued to trace the constellation of Draco with his finger.

"Earth to Sockhead!" Eddy yelled, getting Edd's attention, "what's so fascinating about the stupid sky?"

Edd growled in annoyance, "I was looking at the constellations, Eddy! Can't I observe one thing in peace before I head inside?"

"Great, stars . . ." Eddy replied unenthusiastically, "I'm going inside. Are you coming?"

"Yes, I'm coming." Edd followed Eddy inside only to witness Eddy making the unhealthiest meal that he had ever witnessed. He watched from the kitchen table as Eddy made his concoction. The end result appeared to be a bacon cheeseburger with fries, mozzarella sticks, a fried egg, and topped with four different condiments; ranch dressing, mustard, ketchup, and mayo – a lot of it. It was something that he could easily Ed eating during one of his sleepwalking binges – or awake, that guy could consume anything.

"So how was the junkyard bonfire with Ed and Jonny?" Edd asked, genuinely curious about what he missed out on.

"Not much. Jonny and Ed, well, acted like themselves and we smoked weed by the fire. You didn't miss much other than Ed trying to eat Jonny's bowl." Eddy answered after taking a bite of his sandwich, "what did you do while I was gone?"

Edd was a bit taken aback by the question, "I was resting. I was feeling under the weather and had to rest for a while." He hoped that his lie was convincing enough to fool Eddy. He hated lying in general, but telling Eddy the truth was out of the question. "Why do you ask?"

"I was only curious," Eddy replied.

"Eddy," Edd hesitated. Asking the question on his mind was going to be extremely difficult without him phrasing it in an awkward or vague way, "D-do you think I have changed at all?"

"Uh no," Eddy looked at him funny, finishing what was left of his sandwich, "You're still the uptight pain-in-the-ass that you've always been."

"Thanks for the backhanded compliment," Edd muttered, "You really haven't grown at all."

"You know what they say, you can't fix what isn't broken," Eddy responded with a shrug, a self-assured grin plastered across his face.

"Right," Edd shook his head, "Shall we head to bed, then?"

"Sure, Double D." Edd got up from the table and headed towards Eddy's bedroom. He jolted when he felt a hand on the small of his back. Could Eddy's brother really be that inconsiderate to hit on him in front of Eddy? When he turned around, he was shocked to find out that Matthew was not the one caressing him; it was Eddy. Edd shrugged it off as an accidental touch until Eddy begins softly caressing his back. "Eddy, what are you doing?" His tone was more curious than it was furious at Eddy's actions.

"Eh, nothing." Eddy rubbed the back of his neck, nervously.

Edd continued walking towards the room. Even though Eddy was acting a bit strangely, Edd did not feel uncomfortable around him. Once Edd had reached the room, Edd sat on the bed and relaxed with his hands in his lap. He had a long day. Between helping Eddy with the girls and dealing with Matthew, he was emotionally and physically exhausted.

"What happened to my blankets?" Eddy squawked indignantly as he entered the room.

"Your bedding needed to be washed, so I taken the liberty of taking them to the laundry." That answer seemed like a logical enough explanation without delving into too many details of why his bedding needed to be washed.

"And you were so worried about changing into a different person?" Eddy exclaimed, "You couldn't wait until morning? How are we supposed to sleep on a bare mattress?"

"Calm down, Eddy," Edd sighed, "We can use our sleeping bags for tonight. There's no need to panic." Edd made the bed using the sleeping bags to cover the mattress up for them to sleep. Edd sat back down on the bed after it was made.

"I still can't believe that you washed the bedding before bed," Eddy mumbled, flopping down next to Edd.

"You're just going to have to get used to it," Edd said.

Eddy leaned into the crook of his friend's neck and breathed a sigh. Edd patted his friend on the shoulder. Eddy yawned and lowered his head into Edd's lap. Eddy only let him and Ed see what was behind the tough façade of his on rare moments, but the display before him was something new. Eddy was vulnerable at the moment. The skinnier teen ran his fingers through Eddy's gelled hair. "Hey, don't mess up the hair!" Eddy fussed.

"It's probably time that we should be heading to bed soon." As much as Edd wouldn't mind Eddy sleeping in his lap, he would much prefer to sleep on his side of the bed. Edd got up and lay down on top of the sleeping bag on his side of the bed. Eddy had lain on the bed after he did. He opened his eyes when he felt Eddy scoot closer to him. Eddy's bloodshot eyes were focused in on his lips.

A second later, he felt Eddy's lips upon his. Edd let out a moan in shock, but did not push his friend away. His heart fluttered when he felt one of Eddy's hands on his back. The experience felt awkward, but pleasant. Edd kissed him with as much fervor. As they were kissing, Eddy slipped his tongue inside to explore the wet cavern inside. Edd moaned into Eddy's mouth and kissed him back.

After a while of making out with Eddy, Edd's own guilty conscious came into play. Eddy was still intoxicated from the weed he smoked earlier with Ed and Jonny. Edd could smell the weed on Eddy's clothes. There was a good chance Eddy wouldn't remember this in the morning. He had performed fellatio on Matthew just a few hours before. Everything about situation didn't feel right. He felt like he was taking advantage of Eddy in his current state.

Edd withdrew from the kiss and felt Eddy suckle on the skin just below the mandible on the opposite side from where Matthew gave him a hickey earlier. He hoped that he did not end up with another hickey on his body. "Eddy? Eddy!"

Eddy removed his mouth from his friend's neck, "yeah, Double D?"

"Eddy, I don't want to take advantage of you in your intoxicated state. Please, I beg of you. Let's just go to bed for the night." Edd explained.

Eddy groaned, not pleased with the words he had just heard, scooting back to his side of the bed. "Fine Sockhead."

"Thank you Eddy," Edd thanked him gratefully. "Goodnight." Edd turned over to try to get some sleep for the night.


	14. Secrets

The morning came as quickly as Edd shut his eyes. He turned over to find that Eddy still asleep. Did Eddy remember his actions from last night? Edd silently slipped out of the covers and dressed himself for the day. He turned back to Eddy's sleeping form. He wondered how Eddy would react to him if he did remember what happened last night. The thought terrified him. It could go so wrong. Everything that he worked so hard to keep together could crumble apart. Even though Eddy was the one who started it last night, Edd was the only one that was not under the influence of drugs.

A sense of normalcy is what Edd desperately needed at the moment. He certainly was not going to get it in Eddy's house at the moment. Ed's house might be a safe bet. There were no weird or awkward feelings between him and the tall teen. He could hang out with Ed while he got a chance to clear his head. Eddy would probably be sleeping until noon anyway.

Across the street, Rolf was hard at work with putting up a wrought iron privacy fence in the backyard of his house. The fence would serve as a fortress to keep out unwanted visitors once it was completed. At least he was not putting up a moat again. Rolf was not alone in building the fence. Kevin was helping Rolf with the fence. He looked as worn out as Rolf did. Nazz sat on one of the stumps with her crutches lying beside her and watched Kevin and Rolf work on the fence. Edd crossed the street and watched, wondering if they were going to need help with the fencing.

Rolf was yelling at Wilfred for getting into his vegetable patch again. He helped Kevin and Nazz pick up the next section. "This fancy modern go-go fence from modern tool shop better work at keeping Rolf's creatures safe, Kevin-boy. Rolf is already sick as a pregnant yak from looking at it. It looks like a torture device to impale troublemakers than a fence."

"Look, dude. I know it's a bit of a change, but this thing can take quite a beating. Besides, the city is not going to give you a citation over an iron fence like they would if you built another moat around your house." Kevin explained, wiping the sweat from his brow.

"Curse their laws! Next they'll be telling Rolf where he can and cannot store his candied beets." Rolf turned to Kevin as they turned the fence section vertically, "you seem more worried than Rolf is over his animals. Speak to Rolf."

"Yeah, Kev." Nazz finally spoke, "you've been really overprotective of Rolf and me lately. What's up?"

"It's nothing. It wouldn't be righteous of me to let you two get hurt again. That sociopath would purposely try to hurt someone if he could," Kevin replied nervously.

"Rolf thinks there's more to story than you are speaking. A fowl does not hide from someone unless it know for fact that the person cannot be trusted. Rolf not talking about that time at the whale home either. You've been afraid of that demon of a man before then."

Kevin looked around, paranoid, but didn't see anything. Edd had hidden himself in one of the nearby bushes in the middle of the three teens' conversation. "Look, I've just heard about the shit that guy had done when he and my cousin, Sasha, went to middle school and high school together. I heard about the stuff he did to anyone who even looked at him funny."

Edd had quickly gotten out of the bush and headed towards Ed's house. If he would've stuck around longer or offered to help Kevin and Rolf with the fence, they probably would've known that he was eavesdropping on their private conversation and Kevin would've punched him for it if the redhead was feeling merciful. What Kevin revealed was not that much of a secret to Edd, considering that he heard the same thing from Matthew two nights ago.

Once Edd reached Ed's house, he seen Ed's mom picking up the morning paper in her loose-fitted lilac-colored chemise. Edd wanted to ask Aurora if she knew of Matthew's voyeuristic habits towards her years ago, but decided against it. He doubted Ed's mom was in the mood to hear about how she was spied on by the then 12 year old delinquent.

Edd waved to Ed's mom and headed towards Ed's basement window, which was almost always open for Edd or Eddy. Aurora usually did not chase Edd or Eddy away unless Ed got grounded, which happened once in a while. Edd opened the window and slipped inside. Ed's room was still the same messy landfill that it had always been. The old armchair and TV was still in the same spot as it always had been. The never-ending towers of B-rated horror movies sat next to TV. Horror movie posters still covered every inch of the wall. Though what would change after not being in Ed's room in about a month?

There was no sign of Ed, but he could be eating breakfast at the moment. Edd sat on the armchair, pulling out a cooked chicken from under the chair's cushions before he sat down. He looked around the room's familiar surroundings and found something that he never seen in the room before. There was a lone photograph on the table where Ed kept his model monsters. Curiosity got the better of him and he got up to examine the photo. Any hope he had at normalcy was quickly dashed with the contents of that photo.

The photo was of Ed getting kissed by his three girlfriends with a big goofy grin painted across his face. It all made sense now. Why Ed remained secretive over the identities of his girlfriends. Why Ed did not want Eddy and him to meet his girlfriends. The reason was because Ed was dating the Kanker sisters and knew that Eddy and he would not approve of the relationship.

For years, the Kanker sisters have tormented them. Between the countless times that the three sisters have chased after them, forced them to kiss them, and ruined their scams, the sisters have made their lives miserable. Whenever the Kanker sisters were spotted, the three boys would quickly turn the other way to avoid them. The fact that Ed was now dating all three of them was ironically bizarre, considering everything that had happened in the past.

The photo was quickly snatched from his hands. Edd quickly turned to see Ed with a piece of toast in his mouth and an unreadable expression upon his face. Ed quickly flopped down on his bed and focused on the picture, eating the toast as he looked at the photo. Edd had no idea what to do. Was Ed angry at him? Was he in danger just from being in the same room as Ed? He carefully approached Ed, "Ed, I'm here for you. I am now aware of your relationship with the Kanker sisters."

Ed did not respond. His gaze remained fixed on the photo. Edd tried again, "Ed, can you just talk to me for a few seconds?"

"You're going to make me break up with my girlfriends." Ed cried, clenching the photo to his chest.

"No Ed," Edd sat down on the bed with him, "I just want to make sure that you're happy with them."

"I am happy!" Ed sniffed, "but you're going to tell Eddy and I'll be forced to break up with my darlings like the astronaut in the movie was forced to abandon his marriage to the queen of Venus!"

"Ed, I'm not going to tell Eddy," Edd reassured him, "I promise. When did you first realize your feelings for them?"

"It happened when I went to the monster movie night at the movies. It was the movie _Nightclub Massacre_ where –"Edd intentionally cleared his throat and Ed skipped over explaining what the movie was about, "Oh sorry! My darlings May, Marie, and Lee was there. I was scared of them, especially when they sat next to me. They start to tell me about the movie and that's when they became less scary and more cute. They told me to meet them at their trailer the next day and when I went, I kept staring at their boobs and wanting to cover their faces with kisses."

"That's actually very touching, except for the part where you stared down at their chests," Edd patted Ed on the back.

"Don't worry, Double D! I got to see the rest of their boobs after a while and taste them too," Ed replied shamelessly.

Edd blushed and yanked down his hat over his face, "Ed! Have you any common decency? Please tell me that you're still at least a virgin."

"What's a virgin?" Ed asked, confused.

"You don't know what a virgin is? Ed, did you fall asleep in Health class?" Edd figured that he would try to explain to Ed what he was asking, "Ed, I'm talking about sex. Did you ever have sex with the Kankers?"

"Oh yeah!" Ed's grin was as wide as a Cheshire cat's, "I had sex with all three of them. Their down there looks like lunch meat kinda like those girls on Eddy's magazines and it felt like a toothless hungry mouth when I put my down there in theirs. The first time I had sex was before the movie night we had with Eddy's brother. The first one I had sex with was May and she was very shy when we had sex in front of Marie and Lee. Then I had sex with Marie and then Lee. After that I felt happy and closer to them. Hey, Double D, is it normal that I get the same feelings down there during sex that I do when I touch myself for a while?"

So it seemed that Ed understood the basics of sex – sort of. From Ed's vague account of what took place between him and the Kanker sisters, it seemed like the sexual act was consensual. That was not what Edd was worried about. He was worried about Ed not mentioning ever wearing a condom when he had sex with the sisters or mentioning the sisters using birth control. It was hypocritical of him to worry about Ed's situation and not his own with Matthew. The color drained from his face. Considering that man's apparent hypersexual tendencies, he could be walking around with a number of STDs and are not even aware of it.

After a while of dwelling on his own issues, he answered Ed's answer. "Yes, Ed. It's called ejaculating and it's completely normal. You just need to be more careful when having sex with them in the future. Right now, any one of the Kanker sisters could be walking around pregnant with your unborn child like how your mother was pregnant with Sarah."

"Ah!" Ed cooed.

"Ed, this is serious!" Edd exclaimed, "Babies are a lot of responsibility. You would need to find a part-time job if they do end up pregnant with your child."

"I would still love them and their little dickens." Ed responded. Edd had to admit, Ed's naivety and loyalty to the Kanker sisters was extremely endearing.

"I'm just looking out for you, Ed." Edd replied in defeat. He could not even figure out a solution to his own problems with his own biological urges at the moment. How else was he supposed to help Ed with his situation other than giving Ed moral support with whatever decision Ed decided to make on his own?

Edd decided to pass the rest of the time trying to teach Ed about Pavlov's experiments through a demonstration. "Pay attention, Ed. Every time I turn the radio on and off. I'll give you a teaspoon of Chunky Puffs. The radio would work fine since I don't have a bell. "

"A bell could replace the radio when it comes to good music?" Ed asked.

"That could be for another experiment, Ed. This experiment will replicate the classical conditioning experiment Pavlov performed with his dogs." Edd placed a measuring cup onto Ed's lap. He made a quick trip to the kitchen to get the supplies for the experiment before he started the experiment. Edd turned on the radio and saw that Ed did not respond to the radio static. He held out a teaspoon of Chunky Puffs in front of Ed and the eager teen quickly took into his mouth. Edd hid the Chunky Puffs box behind his back, so that Ed wouldn't ruin it with his gluttonous appetite. Edd repeated the process four more times until he decided to do the last part of the experiment. He turned on the radio, but didn't feed Ed a teaspoon of Chunky Puffs. He waited for Ed's response.

"Double D! Where are the Chunky Puffs?" Ed looked around with drool hanging down his chin.

Edd wiped the drool hanging down from Ed's chin with a Kleenex that was in his pocket, "I must say, our Pavlov experiment was a success. A bit too well, I must add, but we successfully copied Pavlov's experiment! Isn't it wonderful, Ed? It's a simple experiment, but one that does serve a scientific purpose to prove that living things can be conditioned to respond to a certain stimuli."

"Can I get Chunk Puffs now?" Ed asked, not really caring about how much of a success the experiment was.

"Yes, Ed," Edd handed his experiment participant the rest of the Chunky Puffs box. Ed inhaled the rest of the cereal from the box. Edd was used to Ed's atrocious eating habits. He hoped that at least Ed can at least gain something of merit from the experiment, but that was asking too much. Ed responded to the experiment like a lab rat; he only cared about the reward at the end.

Before they could think of something else to do for the day, Sarah burst in through the basement door. "Ed! Mom says that you need to come with us to visit our aunt. Her birthday is today!" That was Edd's cue to leave. Edd guessed that the family was visiting the same aunt with the cats that Ed was allergic to.

Edd ended up going back to Eddy's house. When he went through the door of Eddy's room, Eddy was still asleep. The suspense was overwhelming. Would Eddy remember anything from the night before? Edd exited out of Eddy's room and switched around the laundry while he waited for Eddy to wake up. He felt his hips being groped on. Avoiding Matthew's sexual advances seemed impossible when the guy seemed to pop out when Edd least expected him.

"I was expecting you last night," Matthew hissed in his ear.

"I was much too exhausted after I went to go get Ed, Eddy, and Jonny." Edd responded. He felt the tip of his hat being lifted by the edge where Eddy had given him a hickey.

"Looks like you were," Edd could feel a sense of foreboding in the air. Matthew scrapped his fingernails along the hickey. "So Pipsqueak decided to put the moves on you? That certainly is not the one I gave you last night, you little slut."

Edd turned around to face Matthew. "I would appreciate if you would quit being so vulgar. Eddy was intoxicated and –"

Matthew took it as an invitation to let his hands roam across Edd's body. Edd knew that the man was toying with him, but he was too exhausted to continue trying to fight off his advances. "You know, girlfriend. You can make it up to me today by sleeping in my bed later on tonight and hanging out with me before Pipsqueak wakes up. I've got something else planned today for you and Pipsqueak, but you two are going to have to wait for the surprise."

"Were you not satiated from your liaison with me last night?" Edd asked indignantly.

"No and I will not be until you're underneath me with my cock in your ass," Matthew whispered huskily, his breath was hot against Edd's neck.

Edd snapped. "Alright! I'm tired of fighting this losing battle with you. This was all a part of your insidious plan, right? To push me until I finally crack! Well, Matthew, once again you are going to get your way! Do whatever you want to me! I'm done fighting with you!"

He cursed the day that he made that deal with Matthew. He would have just told Eddy the truth if he could go back in time. Now, telling Eddy the truth about his crush is nothing compared to the even more damaging secret of Matthew having a sexual relationship with him as blackmail to hide a previous secret. If Eddy found out about his relationship with Matthew, it would've destroyed his friendship with Eddy beyond repair.

"So, you finally admit that you want my dick after playing that hard-to-get bullshit," Matthew purred, smugly, not giving Edd a chance to protest, "Alright, let's see if you are going to keep your promise to me this time. We can do it later on tonight when Pipsqueak can't interrupt us."


	15. Fear and Appeasement

Edd made a terrible mistake. He had put himself in another awkward situation with his angry outburst. Any attempt to take back what he had said was ignored by Matthew. Edd stood awkwardly in the middle of the living room, not knowing what to do. Matthew made it clear that he wanted to spend some time with him before Eddy woke up, so Edd remained in the living room to avoid getting on Matthew's bad side.

The elder sat on the couch, bored out of his mind. He drummed his fingers on his pant leg and crooned the lyrics to an industrial rock song that he knew by heart in an attempt to entertain himself. When that didn't work, he groaned out in boredom. He looked up to see Edd standing in the middle of the room awkwardly. Matthew eyed him suspiciously until he remembered why Edd was there. "Hey, why don't you make yourself useful and get me some Bacardi and coke on the rocks. The Bacardi is in the freezer in a brown paper bag. I got it yesterday before I picked up your boyfriend's weed."

Edd sighed and quietly went into the kitchen. He remembered Matthew coming in with a few paper bags the day before when Matthew returned from his day of driving around town instead of spending time with his kids. Edd grudging prepared the alcohol, thanking all of the times that Eddy made him look at those magazines. Without them, he probably would have never known what "on the rocks" meant. There was always a recipe for an alcoholic beverage on the back of those dirty magazines.

He handed the large glass to Matthew silently. Matthew's fingers brushed against his as he handed the man the alcohol. Adrenaline was rushing through his veins. He had trouble distinguishing between if he feared the man in front of him, hated the man, and/or lusted after him. The feelings he had for Matthew were a bit complex to put a label on. However, the one thing that he was certain of was that love was one of the emotions that he would never feel for Matthew.

"Come sit with me," Matthew took a sip from his drink.

Edd reluctantly took a seat next to Matthew. Both of them sat in silence for several minutes. Matthew took a couple of gulps of his Bacardi and coke. Edd felt Matthew's arm drape across his shoulders. Edd moved further away to avoid getting touched. "Mind my personal space, please."

"I'm not that repulsive, am I?" Matthew laughed in amusement.

"Personality wise, yes you are." Edd answered grimly, "You're a sociopathic barbarian. You're completely selfish and never think about the needs of other people. What's worse is that Eddy idolized you! He idolized you and what did you do? You gave him misleading maps and physically abused him in front of all of our peers."

"You think I give a shit about that? Let me tell you a little story, sweetheart. Your little boyfriend was used to it. I babysit him from the time he was in diapers until the time that I was kicked out. Every time he stepped out of line, I put him back in his place, whether it meant slapping him in the face or twisting his arm out of place. I didn't leave any bruises, so my parents never found out. It just made him into the Pipsqueak that we both know today. I taught him everything I knew before I left too, so you should be thanking me for teaching him how to scam people."

"Thanking you? You deserve nothing, you monstrous, nefarious bastard!" Edd's entire body shook with anger. He tried to clear his mind and think of other things. A cold, emotionless chuckle from Matthew was what set him over the edge. He charged at Matthew. He wanted to strangle that man's throat. How dare that man hurt Eddy, his own brother, for years and have the audacity to demand gratification for it, because it "shaped" Eddy into the person that they both know today.

Matthew blocked his attack and shoved him into the coffee table. Edd tumbled off of the coffee table and landed on the floor. He quickly got up and charged at Matthew again; attempting to hurt Matthew in any way that he could just like Matthew did to Eddy. There was no logic to his actions. Rage blinded the normally passive teenager.

Edd gasped when he was caught by his neck and lifted off of the ground. Anger was quickly replaced with terror when he dared to look Matthew in the eye. The deadly glare that Matthew given him was worse than the one he received at Mondo A-Go Go when he had stood up to him. Matthew chuckled darkly, "That was a wrong move on your part, princess. You still have so much spunk to you. So much fire! I can't wait to see more of it later on tonight."

"Please, let me go." Edd pleaded, choking as he was gasping for air. The grip around his neck felt like noose. He was losing oxygen with every second that he was in Matthew's grip.

"As you wish." Matthew choke slammed Edd to the floor. The back of Edd's head and back throbbed in pain at the impact with the floor. He laid on the floor motionless, too stunned to lift himself from the floor. He made a terrible mistake for losing his temper and assuming that he could even get revenge for Eddy's sake.

Edd whimpered pathetically as Matthew kneeled over him, straddling his waist. Edd attempted to push Matthew off of him, but his wrists were pinned above his head. Matthew cupped Edd's chin with his free hand and examined his face closely, taking sick pleasure in that Edd had been reduced to whimpering, shaking wreck. "That's much better. You're lucky that I don't want to ruin that nice, delicate skin of yours with bruises or cuts. You don't even know how lucky you are. I could've done a lot worse to you. I'll have you know that I'm not putting up temper tantrums, especially ones from spoiled rotten teenagers."

"Please, I apologize for my actions several minutes ago. You're crushing me." Edd pleaded with the 24 year old.

"You're not going to try to strangle me again?" Matthew asked.

Edd shook his head. "I would not think of it again. I'm being sincere, Matthew."

"Alright." Matthew lifted himself up and stepped over Edd to return to drinking his Bacardi. Edd slowly lifted himself up as Matthew gulped down more alcohol. Matthew noticed that Edd had gotten up and Matthew sat his drink down, walking towards the teen. He gripped Edd's backside, pulling the teen close to him. Matthew locked lips with Edd in a show of dominance over him. Despite the foul taste of alcohol on the man's lips and their skirmish several minutes ago, Edd kissed him back in defeat.

Eddy woke up an hour later. During that hour, Edd spent it reading a medical encyclopedia while Matthew drunk more of the Bacardi and coke. Edd looked up at Eddy's face to see if Eddy looked at him any differently from the night before. Eddy's facial expression was pretty neutral. He did not look at Edd in disgust. It was probably a good sign that Eddy forgot about what happened last night. While disappointing, it was probably better that way. He could not handle having another stressful incident at the moment.

"We're heading to Lucas' pad soon. Go get ready, Pipsqueak." Matthew replied, finishing his Bacardi.

Eddy winced at the sight of Edd's neck, causing the teen in the beanie to cover it with his hand, subconsciously. He turned to talk with Matthew. "Yeah, yeah. I'm surprised that Lucas is still around."

"Yeah, he called when all three of you were in the junkyard last night." Matthew confirmed, setting his glass down. "Seth will be there too."

Eddy nodded with disinterest, "Well, I need to get ready. C'mon Sockhead!" Eddy pointed in the direction to his room. Once they both reached Eddy's bedroom, Eddy shuts the door and drags Edd to the mirror, "What the hell is that red mark on your neck?"

Edd looks in the mirror to find that Matthew had indeed left a red handprint across his neck. "It's nothing." Edd lied.

"My bro grabbed your throat, didn't he?" Eddy frowned.

"Yes, Matthew and I got into a skirmish earlier," Edd admitted shamefully, "He was the one who initiated the fight, but I was the one that physically attacked him first – or tried to, anyway."

Eddy just nodded pensively. He did not even want to know what caused the fight between Matthew and Edd. All he cared about was getting Edd far away from Matthew. "I think you need to stay at Ed's for a couple of days. I'm saying this for your own protection, Edd."

"And leave you here alone with him? Thank you for the suggestion, but I would rather stay here," Edd replied firmly.

"What are ya, nuts? Unlike me, you have a chance to escape from my brother," Eddy shouted at him.

Edd folded his arms, "no, I don't Eddy. Did you forget that the reason why I'm not in foster care system is because your mother has legal custody of me? I don't have any relatives that live in Peach Creek, let alone the state. Do you think your brother or your parents after being fed insidious lies from said man would hesitate to report me as a runaway?"

Margaret, Sam, and Marian signed the legal document four years ago, after the Mondo A-Go Go incident. When Edd had left with Ed and Eddy, Marian had returned home in the evening and found the half-written note. She rightfully assumed that he had run away from home. Marian had turned to Margaret for comfort since both of them noticed that their boys had gone missing. During their distress over losing the boys, Marian had agreed to Margaret's suggestion of letting her have guardianship of Edd if something ever happened to Sam or her.

After much discussion with her husband (and after scolding her son when he returned home), they both went down to the courthouse the very next day to sign the legal document granting Margaret guardianship of Edd in case of their deaths or absence. To this day, Edd still did not know what caused his parents to stress over the possibility of their deaths or absence, but he was thankful that his mother and Margaret gotten that court document signed. Without it, Edd shuddered to think of where he might end up.

"Alright fine! I don't like this, but whatever. Do what you want!" Eddy caved bitterly. He made a mental note to himself to try to talk to his brother later. There was not much he could do even if Matthew beat up Edd in front of him, but it could not hurt to try to reason with him. That man could possibly put them both in the hospital and not think twice about it if he wanted to. "We got to get ready to go see Matthew's asshole friends."

"What are they like, Eddy?" Edd asked.

"Lucas is a weirdo and Seth is a freak. They were both complete assholes from what I remember when they showed up at my house a few times when I was little." Eddy replied, gathering some flashy clothing to get into the shower. The description Eddy had given him of Matthew's friends was pretty vague. Edd shrugged and decided against wearing a tie for the occasion, after debating in his mind if a tie would be too much to meet to complete strangers in. What he wore was fine for the evening. Fifteen minutes later, Eddy came back in the room, still wet from his shower, to freshen up with his usual hair grooming and cologne spritzing ritual.

"You're putting quite a bit of work into maintaining your appearance to see two men that you claim are less than respectable gentlemen." Edd replied.

"Get a clue. How am I supposed to impress those two asses if I don't look like a cool guy?" Eddy boasted, "If I look like a cool guy, those two would stop calling me `Matthew's baby brother' and view me as an adult!"

"I sometimes worry about your vanity issues," Edd muttered.

The ride to Matthew's friend's house was a 15 minute drive from the cul-de-sac. They decided to take Eddy's van to the place since Matthew did not feel like driving the Camaro. Matthew had given Eddy directions to the place before they had gotten into the van. Of course, Matthew had control of the radio from the passenger seat of the van and turned up the radio up high. The music that was blasting from the speakers was so unbearably loud that Edd's ears started to hurt from how loud the music was.

Edd still felt kind of skittish around Matthew from what happened earlier and he could tell that Eddy felt the same way. The heavyset teen kept his arm between the seats, as if his arm was a shield to protect Edd from his brother. He wondered if Eddy had the same motivations as he did, to appease Matthew in whatever way that he could. Only difference was Edd mostly did it to keep his secrets hidden, Eddy did it to avoid any further physical abuse. Putting that into perspective, Eddy's actions suddenly started to make sense to Edd. Eddy was like a battered wife cowering in the presence of her husband or a child that made excuses whenever they showed up to school with a fresh new bruise.

Matthew turned down the volume of the radio, "it's the next house coming up. I only have one rule while we're here; don't embarrass the fuck out of me, got it?"

"Yeah, yeah. I heard ya!" Eddy parked at the next house over. Both Edd and Eddy's mouths dropped when they seen the house. Edd had never seen a mansion before in his entire life until he laid eyes upon the house they stopped at. The pearly white modern-styled mansion in front of him was a sight to behold. Where they at the right place?

* * *

A/N: Thanks again for the comments. I cannot express how much I appreciate reading them. Two Eds and Bro is now on Archive of Our Own as a mirror to the story. The one on AO just won't get updated as often as this one does.


	16. Matthew's Friends

"Whoa! You never told me that Lucas was loaded!" Eddy exclaimed, giddily getting out of the van. "Check out the mermaid fountain!" Eddy pointed to the large fountain in the middle of the courtyard.

"This is all very lavish, Eddy." Edd agreed, "However, I doubt this Lucas fellow would want us gawking at all of his worldly possessions."

"Ah, who cares?" Eddy wrapped his arm around Edd's neck tightly, "this is living!"

Edd craned his neck towards the sound of the buzzer being pushed. Matthew pressed the buzzer again until someone answered. Edd could barely hear what was said from the speaker, but Matthew answered back, "It's me, Matthew McGee. I'm here to hang out with Lucas, so open the goddamn gate already!" Matthew then muttered to himself as the gate opened, "They must have some new fucktards working on staff now."

All three of them returned to the van and drove down the long driveway to the house. The landscaping of the house was something to be admired. The whole house could be featured in a magazine. Edd wondered what career path Matthew friend Lucas has taken to be able to afford such a luxurious place. Apparently he was not the only one who was curious.

"Hey, what scam did Lucas pull off to afford this place?" Eddy asked.

"None, Pipsqueak," Matthew replied, parking the van in front of Lucas house, "His dad's a CEO and his mom's a deceased heiress. Oh, and his new stepmom is a pregnant gold digger and a coke whore."

"Yes, well, I doubt Lucas' family affairs are any of our concern." Edd fidgeted at hearing the last part.

After all three of them got out of the van, Ed and Eddy followed Matthew to the west side of the house. The west side of the mansion looked like an expansion had been made to the house in recent years. As they walked, Eddy pointed towards a window to a room with an indoor pool and Jacuzzi. "Check it out! That is the biggest pool I've ever seen in my entire life! It even has a waterfall."

Once they reached the side door, Matthew just walked inside without knocking or ringing the doorbell. Eddy cocked an eyebrow and followed after his brother. Edd reluctantly followed after Eddy. Edd did not get a chance to appreciate the freshly polished marble flooring, the expensive paintings on the walls, or the opulent chandelier.

They were led up a stairway and into what appeared to be an entertainment room of some sort. The wallpaper used in the room was a vertical black and white stripe pattern and the room also had grey carpeting. On the walls hung several movie posters, including one from the movie `A Clockwork Orange.' The room contained two black leather couches, a glass coffee table, a pool table, a large silver stereo system, a miniature bar in the middle of the large room, and a white table with six matching chairs.

At the table sat two men, one was throwing darts at a dart board and the other was sticking a syringe into his stomach and injecting the clear liquid into his body. At first, Edd thought the man was shooting up an illegal drug of some kind until he saw the insulin bottle next to the man.

The man that injected himself with insulin was not what Edd expected a friend of Matthew's to look like. The man looked like a mild-mannered American ideal with perfectly trimmed nails and light brown hair. The man also wore clothing that probably cost as much as the repairs that Eddy had done to the van. Edd could not help but get the feeling that behind those model looks and expensive clothing lurked something that was extremely unsettling. He did hang out with Matthew after all.

The other man that was the opposite extreme of what Edd expected a friend of Matthew's to look like. The man would've been average looking if it was not for his eccentric style. The man had a silver nose ring and tattoos covering every inch of his arms. The man's hair was dyed a jet black color and was short and shaggy.

After the diabetic tossed the needle into the trash, he walked towards Matthew and patted him on the back, "long time no see, you fucker!"

Edd leaped back when the brown haired diabetic approached them. The man did not even bother to properly bandage himself or even untuck his shirt over his stomach. Blood trailed down from the man's stomach to the edge of the man's dark slacks. Edd felt extremely ill from the sight alone.

"Yeah, how the fuck did you did you get my number, Lucas?" Matthew asked.

"Dude, your folks haven't changed their number in years," Lucas replied, "I called the amusement park that you used to work at and they told me that you didn't work there anymore. I figured that you moved back in with your parents. Besides I have plenty of private detectives on call to find you if I needed to."

Edd looked to see Matthew's response to Lucas' creepy statement. The elder seemed unfazed by it. "That's disturbing." Edd spoke up.

Lucas looked from Matthew to Edd and Eddy. "Who are the kids? Your dates? I'll give you credit, they're at least older than that bitch you knocked up was several years ago. Right Seth?" Lucas addressed tattooed man. Edd knew that they must have been referring to Bonnie's mother.

"We might need to search the local playgrounds for Mattie's next date," Seth joked.

"I know, right?" Lucas snickered, hunching over when he receives a punch from Matthew in the same spot where he injected himself with insulin. "Son of a bitch!" He swore, clenching himself in the stomach.

"Oh dear!" Edd flinched at seeing Lucas getting hit.

"I'm not his date, you stupid assholes!" Eddy yelled as Seth was getting his piercing yanked on by Matthew, "I'm his brother! And this is my friend, Double D!" Eddy introduced Edd.

"Pipsqueak?" Lucas hastily and sloppily put on the gauze and surgical tape that was in his pockets. "I haven't seen you since you were-"He sticks his hand out and lowers it to where it was one or two feet off of the ground, indicating that he had not seen Eddy since Eddy was a toddler or a small child.

"Excuse me for asking this, but were you diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes mellitus or Type 2?" Edd asked Lucas.

"I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes." Lucas answered.

"Let go, you fucking dickhead!" Seth yelled. He sighs with relief once Matthew releases the grip he has on his nose. "Jesus Christ, learn to take a fucking joke once in a while. You almost yanked out my damn piercing."

Matthew just smirks and sits down at the table. Edd and Eddy also sit down. They might have also been guests at Lucas' home, but they were just outside observers to Matthew's, Lucas,' and Seth's guys night. They might as well been flies on the wall when the three men chatted. It was probably better that way since Lucas and Seth were friends of Matthews. From the conversation, Edd and Eddy were able to find out some things about Matthew's friends.

Seth, surprisingly, seemed like the most hardworking one of the trio and the most successful. He runs a tattoo parlor in Lemon Brook (much to Eddy's disgust) that he's owned and worked on tattoos at for three years. Seth also has a wife that he's been married to for a year and has a child on the way from his wife. The three also discussed Seth's recovery from his heroin addiction.

Lucas, on the other hand, is even more unmotivated than Matthew is. Lucas seems like an underachiever who just wants to get a trust fund every month and inherit his dad's fortune at the end. Despite his apparent lack of motivation, Lucas appeased his father by being the only one in the trio that goes to college as a business major, but still has not earned a degree yet due to poor grades. According to Seth and Matthew, Lucas was extremely good at promoting their scams back in the day, which made Edd wonder, why would Lucas perform scams with Seth and Matthew? He did not need the money.

"Umm, excuse me gentlemen," Edd spoke up, getting three men's attention, "how did you three meet?"

"We met when we were kidnapped by some sick old pedophile in a white van and were sodomized for days until we got a chance to run." Matthew answered with a smirk.

"You're full of it! Mom and Dad never told me about you getting kidnapped and molested by a pedophile," Eddy retorted.

"Mattie's just fucking with you," Seth chimed in, "Lucas and I met him when he scammed us out of our allowances. We have to have been seven or eight years old at the time. We did not become friends until the beginning of school months later due to our situation with the lunch ladies and the school."

"What situation was that?" Edd asked, genuinely curious.

"We were the only kids in the school who had to be on a specific diet. Lucas is a diabetic and could not have white bread or pasta, sugar, or anything with a lot of carbs. Matthew is lactose intolerant and would be puking for hours if he had anything with milk, cheese, or cream in it. As for me, I'm allergic to nuts. The lunch ladies did not give two shits about it and even got on to us when we tried to throw away or leave behind the foods that we would have a severe reaction to. The school didn't give a shit either. So when we discovered that we each had a problem with a specific food that the cafeteria served up every day, we exchanged food items. I know it does not sound like a badass story to you two kids, but that's what happened."

"I see," Edd didn't know what else to say about it. It was terrible to think about what Peach Creek schools were like when Matthew, Lucas, and Seth attended. It was several years before Edd had attended, so he wondered what event happened to make the school understand the needs of diabetic students and students with allergies. He let the three men continue to chat like school girls while he sat at the table with a bored expression on his face.

"Remember when you beat up that twerp Sasha babysit?" Seth smirked at Matthew, "I never thought that little faggot would stop crying."

"While you two faggots were pissing your pants over the thought of Sasha calling the cops," Matthew also smirked darkly, reaching over to grab a bottle of gin.

"Hey, we held Sasha down while you beat up on that toddler he watched. Besides, Sasha did call the cops, dumbass," Lucas reminded him, "Seth and I spent a night in juvie and you got put in there for two weeks."

"It was worth it though," Matthew bragged, taking a swig of gin after opening it, "Sasha knew then not to fuck with me."

"Well, three of your infamous thirteen dates in high school were guys," Seth responded, dully, "I doubt you really cared if the school or your parents knew about it, so why did we get revenge on Sasha?"

"It's just the principle of the matter. Sasha tried to ruin my reputation, so I got revenge. Simple as that," Matthew explained. "Though, I did have to give Sasha a second reminder."

"Do I even want to know what you did?" Seth pulled out a cigarette from his pants pocket.

"You're a big pussy, Seth, so I'll spare you the details," Matthew took the cigarette from Seth and put it to his own lips and lit it up with a lighter.

Eddy leaned against the chair, bored stiff. He turned to Edd and whispered, "Let's ditch these guys!"

Edd had enough of hearing about the horrible things that the trio did as youths. While Ed, Eddy, and he were no saints, themselves; they did not bully a small child to get back at someone. Edd nodded in agreement and walked out into the hallway without the three men noticing. Eddy came out 35 seconds later carrying a couple of bottles of alcohol. "Honestly, Eddy?"

"So what? Lucas is not going to miss a few bottles. Besides, he can afford a bunch of them!" Eddy argued. "Now let's try to find something more interesting to do."

"That's not all I'm worried about. If you keep consuming alcoholic beverages every day, you could become an alcoholic." Edd forewarned.

"Whatever," Eddy retorted, "I'm not going to turn into some fucking alcoholic! Now help me find a room that we both can hang out at without my brother and his two asshole friends."

After a while of opening random doors, they finally found one with a home theater inside. "I should have anticipated that Lucas' family would own a private theater room." Edd thought aloud.

Eddy rushed to the VCR player in the room that was connected to a projector. "Where the heck are the movies? All I see are videotapes of my brother's glory days. Really, it says so on the tape; `Seth's, Matt's and my glory days."

"Well, beggars can't be choosers, Eddy. Let's watch one of them." Edd suggested, taking a seat in one of the chairs in the room. "At least the seats are much more comfortable than the seats at the movie theater." Edd listened at Eddy pressed the button to play the movie. They were both about to get a look into Matthew's youth.


	17. Living on Video

The video started off with black static. Edd turned to see Eddy sat in the armchair beside him. The whiff of Eddy's cologne was intoxicating. Edd let out a soft moan as he remembered the night before. How soft Eddy's lips felt on his own. How divine Eddy's tongue felt sliding across his own and how wonderful Eddy tasted. That night was one of the rare moments that Edd would not mind exchanging microorganisms with another person. Edd resisted the urge to taste that heavenly warmth inside of his friend's mouth again.

The black static quickly changed to focus on the recording of someone's shoes. The recording started to get fuzzy until the camera was in focus. Judging by the expensive running shoes alone, Edd had to guess that Lucas was the one behind the camera. His guess was proven when Lucas pointed the camera on his face. Teenage Lucas' hair was a bit longer than it was today and teenage Lucas also suffered from bad acne.

_"Is this thing on?" Lucas asked, "Hello, I'm Lucas Malcolm Holmes. I am fourteen years old and I am a Scorpio! These two fuckbags at the stand are Seth Alexander Lovering and Matthew Terry McGee."_

The camera pans to a wooden stand and zooms in on it. Teenage Matthew and Seth sat at the stand with a wooden sign that read "Moonshine: $5" in painted letters. Teenage Seth was creating a stick and poke tattoo on a pig ear. Seth only had one tattoo at the time and it was of a yin-yang symbol. Teenage Matthew looked extremely annoyed at the bottles of Moonshine in front of him. Matthew had also looked a bit different as a teenager. At fourteen, Matthew still did not develop facial hair and was relatively skinnier compared than he was today. He wore a white hoodie under a dark yellow numbered jersey, dark green slacks, and a red cap. It was the same outfit that he seen "Matthew" in when he and Eddy were only twelve. Ed, Edd, and Eddy found out later that day that "Matthew" was actually Sarah and Jimmy the whole time.

_"Fuck this!" _Matthew cursed, tipping over the stand in a fit of rage. The cups containing moonshine spilled to the ground._ "We haven't had a single fucking customer all day!"_

_"It's the end of the month, Mattie," _Seth argued, picking up the pig ear that Matthew knocked over._ "Nobody gets their paychecks or allowances until next week."_

_"Why didn't you tell me that, you stupid fuck?" _Matthew growled, stomping away from the failed scam. He turned towards the camera and sneered,_ "Turn that fucking camera off, Lucas!"_

The video turned to black static. "So even my brother and his friends had failed scams." Eddy guffawed.

Edd nodded and waited for the next scene to play. He recognized the next scene being on the Peach Creek Junior High stage. It looked like it taken place at a talent show with the camera being propped up backstage facing the front of the stage. The principal tripped off the stage from a prank involving marbles.

Just as the principal fell off the stage, Matthew and his friends got on stage wearing bondage accessories over their casual clothes. Leather harnesses went over their shirts. They wore spiked collars around their necks and they carried floggers in their pockets. Edd had to wonder who in their right mind let three fourteen year olds near items like that. The trio more than likely wore the improper accessories as a joke or a way to anger the principal. The trio received a mixture of shocked gasps, laughter, and even cheers. The three managed to top off the outrageousness of the situation by singing "Cradle of Love" by Billy Idol while each playing an instrument. Matthew played the harp, Seth played the drums, and Lucas played the keyboard.

Edd and Eddy sat in uncomfortable silence as the outrageous talent show performance continued. The segment ended with Lucas rushing to retrieve his camera and the principal shouting out that the three was suspended from school. The familiar black static greeted the two teens in the theater room once again. The next scene was also at a familiar setting.

Matthew, Seth, and Lucas were at the playground in the cul-de-sac. The camera focused in on a half-naked teen that was tied up to the monkey bars. The teen was a scrawny bespectacled redhead whose straight hair was parted down the middle and grew an inch past his ears. The teen looked to be the same age as Matthew in the video. Matthew was leaning over the teen with a callous grin on his face. Edd felt physically sick just from watching the scene unfold.

_"Why the long face?" _Matthew asked the bound teen with mock sympathy, _"I thought you were into freaky shit like this."_

The teen struggled against his binds, _"No! Let me go, you dorks!"_

_"You said some shit about me this morning. Something about how I'm a waste of life that would probably end up working as a carnie as an adult. Sound familiar?" _Matthew was spit in the face as a response. Matthew quickly backhanded the redhead, _"You must have death wish today, you little faggot! I'll admit; you've got a lot of spunk. Don't think that I won't bust your head in today though."_

_"Ah Mattie," _Seth spoke up, _"let's leave the little geek here. I think the embarrassment of someone finding him in his underwear is punishment enough. Let's blow this joint before someone sees us and calls the pigs over here." _

_"Since when do you or Lucas think?" _Matthew retorted. He turned to Lucas, who was obviously behind the camera, _"Lucas, you and that stupid camera are starting to get on my last fucking nerve. Shut that fucking thing off!"_

The scene once again goes to black static like they were in some kind of kind of horror movie, forced to watch a scene more disturbing than the last scene. The redhead in the video was correct about Matthew becoming a carnie when he grew up. Edd just hoped that whoever the person is alright now. Eddy twitched in his seat. Have he been twitching the whole time?

"Let's do something else," Eddy gulped and quickly got up to shut off the video. "Let's try to find that pool. Watching videos is pretty boring anyway."

Edd could only nod in agreement at Eddy's statement. He knew that Eddy was just as disturbed by what he had seen just as much as Edd was. Eddy racked his brain trying to figure out why the redheaded kid in the video looked so familiar to him. He had seen the teen in the video before sometime in his youth, but he could not figure when he had seen him.

Even though his brother was kicked out when Eddy was just eight years old, he was starting to see less and less of his brother after he turned three years old. Matthew would always take off in the early morning and stay away until after his bedtime. Eddy figured that Matthew went to either Lucas' house or Seth's house. As his own father recalled, it was as if Matthew was eleven going on twenty-one. His parents couldn't control Matthew and kicked him out several years later when Eddy was just eight years old.

Their search for the pool room led to them finding a yoga room, a room full of exercise equipment, and an extra bathroom. "We're getting close, Sockhead," Eddy stated, "I can smell the chlorine." Eddy opened the next door and spotted the edge of the pool. "It's over here, Sockhead!" Eddy announced. Eddy looked around and spotted a mesh storage cubes with swim trunks and towels. "It looks like we don't even have to go skinny dipping."

"Check the sizes on those to see if we would be able to fit them first," Edd advised, not wanting a repeat of the time they wore his brother's swimsuits for Nazz's sprinkler party. "-And what do you mean you would've gone skinny dipping if there wasn't swimsuits available? Do you know how indecent and discourteous that is for us as houseguests?"

"Mellow out! I came here to swim, not to get nagged to death." Eddy started to strip out of his clothing.

"Eddy! What are you doing? There are three grown men in this house not including the hired staff." Edd exclaimed.

"It's just Matthew and his stupid friends." Eddy snorted in amusement at Edd. He dropped trou and checked the swimsuits. "Looks like there are no swimsuits in my size. Too bad!" Clad in only his boxers, Eddy made a beeline towards the pool and quickly jumped in. "Geronimo!"

"Why do I even bother?" Edd checked the same pile of clothes that Eddy haphazardly thrown around. After neatly folding the swim trunks that Eddy left, Edd found a pair of trunks that fit him and a jersey that would hide the hickey that Matthew gave him. Eddy was already lying on his back in what Edd liked to refer as an "indolent backstroke" where Eddy would only kick his feet and move his arms once in a while to stay afloat.

Edd quickly changed in the extra bathroom Eddy and he found when they were searching for the pool room. Thankful that he always carried around a box of plastic hair nets, he took off his hat and equipped one of the plastic hair nets. After examining his appearance in the mirror, he decided that he was ready to swimming. The hair net covered the hickey that Eddy had given and the jersey covered every inch of his shoulders.

OwO OwO OwO OwO OwO

The three men in the entertainment room laughed at Lucas recalling a memory from their wayward youth. Seth and Lucas were unable to contain their chuckles. It was just one of those times where the three would meet up to catch up on the latest affairs of their pals and reminisce about the past. Matthew couldn't help but get the feeling that whatever was between Seth, Lucas, and him was only superficial. Sure, they have been friends since grade school, but beyond that they were former scamming buddies and now drinking buddies. Matthew wouldn't jump in front of a bullet to save either of them nor did he care about what Lucas and Seth thought of him. Such was their friendship.

"So Mattie, you're staying the night, right?" Lucas asked in a sickly sweet tone.

Matthew glared at him, "I've got plans later on tonight, Lucas."

"You're currently unemployed and living at your parents' house. What plans could you possibly have that are so important?" Lucas asked with a twisted smirk.

Matthew groaned in annoyance, "I have plans later on tonight with the kid in the sockhat, so sorry about your luck!"

Seth rolled his eyes, "I fucking knew it!"

"Fuck the kid here. I don't give a flying fuck. It's not like I'm going to be the one cleaning the bed sheets anyway. There's plenty of alcohol in this place to keep you content for the night and a private room that is probably swankier than most hotel rooms in this fucking state." Lucas knew how to coax Matthew into doing what he wanted and Matthew hated him for it.

"Okay, fine." Matthew caved, "I'll stay here for the night. Damn, is it that horrible to stay in a big mansion by yourself for days on end?"

"You have no idea," Lucas turned to Seth, "are you going to be staying here too for the night?"

"No thank you, I've got work in the morning and my wife is expecting me back in time for dinner," Seth sneered when he heard Matthew making a whipping noise, "Shut up, Mattie!"

"I'm going to need you and Lucas to do something for me before you go back to your dungeon master – I mean wife," Matthew grinned maliciously at his friend.

"What a shock! What do you need now?" Seth folded his arms, not liking whatever Matthew had planned.

"I need my night to be uninterrupted by Pipsqueak. I mean it; I need Pipsqueak in bed for the rest of the night." Matthew explained. "I need you two to make sure that happens and done in a way that Pipsqueak would not expect a thing. I would need you two to serve him strong alcohol throughout the day. I don't even care if you two have to hold him down and pour alcohol down his throat. Just make sure you serve him enough alcohol to get an elephant drunk or Seth's mom." Lucas snickered at the comment, but Seth was more interested in what the rest of the plan might be if there was anything else to the plan than about the wisecrack regarding his mother. Matthew continued, "If you guys have to; mix roofies into his drink or give him a Dahmer cocktail."

A Dahmer cocktail was a term they used for alcohol laced with sedatives. Had Seth been a different man, he would have disagreed with the whole notion and refused to even take part in the whole ridiculous plan. However, he left his dignity back his youth and took part in whatever Matthew told him to do. "Fine, I'll help you get Pipsqueak drunk while I'm here, but I'm not drugging the damn kid. That whole idea is twisted even for you!"

"I know how much of a pussy you are, Seth. It'll be alright," Matthew cooed mockingly, "where are Pipsqueak and Princess anyway?"

"Princess?" Lucas asked, confused, "Oh, umm, I honestly have no idea. We'll have to split up to look for them. Seth can check the left side of building where the theater room and exercise rooms are at and Matthew, you and I will check the right side where the pool room and extra dining room is at."

A/N: Remember loyal viewers, whatever Bro does in the story, do the complete opposite! Though I'm sure most of you are mature enough to know that already.


	18. Pool Water

Edd dived into the deep water of the pool. He opened his eyes underwater and saw Eddy's feet in the distance. There was something so tranquil about being underneath the water's surface. He could only hear Eddy's distorted voice above the surface, but he could not hear what his friend was saying. The water around him was so crystal clear. He began to swim around the bottom of the pool, heading nowhere in particular. He felt like a dolphin or another ocean creature just swimming around peacefully without a care in the world.

His swimming was interrupted by his need for oxygen. He swam towards the surface. The light reflected off the waves. He swam towards the light and took a deep breath once his head was above the surface. As soon as his head reached the surface, he felt a beach ball hit him in the head. He quickly turned and seen Eddy cackling.

"Really, Eddy? Already resorting to puerile pranks?" Edd shook his head and grinned, "I hope you are on your toes this afternoon. I could easily Immerse that head of yours when you least expect it."

"Is that supposed to scare me? Should I remind you of who always get picked last in gym class?" Eddy taunted playfully.

"Look who's talking, Mr. Second-to-last!" Edd taunted back. Much to Eddy's and Edd's chagrin, they always got picked last for gym class. Even Plank, a piece of wood, got picked over them. Edd was out of shape and Eddy was just lazy. No surprises there. However, gym class was a constant cruel reminder of just how out of shape and weak he was.

Eddy circled around him, instigating him. "Don't even think about it, Eddy." Edd warned.

"Don't think of doing what?" Eddy asked slyly.

"You know damn well what," Edd shot back, crossing his arms.

Eddy chuckled, "You're paranoid, Sockhead. I wouldn't hurt a fly!"

"Resorting to using clichéd idioms in hopes that I would lower my guard, Eddy?" Edd teased, "You're going to have to do more than that if you expect to catch me unguarded. Though I doubt your short attention span would allow you the opportunity to catch someone like me off-guard."

Edd dodged a couple of attempts that Eddy made at trying to dunk his head underwater. Edd was sure that they were both splashing water over the edge of the pool. However, Edd was too focused on Eddy's movements to check the floor by the pool. Edd could make out the artificial waterfall Eddy spotted earlier in the distance.

Then Eddy charged straight at him. Edd laughed playfully at Eddy's foolishness. The most foolish thing a person could do in a fight, even in a play fight like Edd and Eddy were having, is to charge towards an opponent unprepared. It ruins the element of surprise. Edd figured out a plan on how he could dunk Eddy's head underwater. If he jumped on Eddy's back as the other teen got close to him, he could easily get the upper hand in the situation and dunk Eddy's head beneath the water's surface.

As Eddy got close to him, Edd put his plan into action and jumped on Eddy's back, grasping Eddy's shoulders tightly. "I commend your efforts, Eddy, but it seems that I have the upper hand in this situation."

"Is that so, Sockhead?" Eddy asked in a matter that caused Edd to become suspicious. "You didn't count on one thing."

"What's that?" Edd asked.

"This!" Eddy exclaimed as he suddenly grabbed Edd's butt.

"Eddy!" Edd exclaimed as he squirmed. To his shock, Eddy dropped his weight on him, dunking him underneath the water. Edd had no chance to catch his breath and breathed in some of the water, causing him to get a brain freeze. When Eddy lifted himself up from the water, Edd pulled his head to the surface. "That was a dirty underhanded trick, Eddy!"

"You never said anything about not using underhanded moves, Sockhead. Looks like I win again!" Eddy boasted. Eddy's grin slowly turned into a scowl when he seen his brother and Lucas entered the room. Seth came into the room a couple of minutes later. "Looks like our pool time got wrecked. The senior citizen's club decided to visit."

"I think we still can swim with them in room," Edd suggested.

"Get a clue, Sockhead!" Eddy retorted, swimming towards the pool ladder. "They would hold our heads underneath the water and laugh like fucking hyenas until we pass out."

"Oh dear," Edd shudder and swam towards the pool ladder, "wait for me, Eddy!" As they got out, Edd announced, "I'm going to get changed. I'll see you in a few."

"Alright," Eddy responded, "just hurry back."

"It shouldn't take me too long," Edd replied.

"Don't you two brats want to swim some more?" Seth asked, "this might be the last time either one of you two swim in a pool like that."

"Go blow yourself, Seth!" Eddy shot back, "I'm not that stupid!"

OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWO

Edd closed the bathroom door behind him. He realized his mistake much too late. He had forgotten to bring a towel to go swimming. He didn't even know where Lucas kept the towels. He would assume that Lucas kept them in one of the bathrooms, but there were probably at least ten bathrooms in the entire place and Lucas' house was like a maze. They certainly were not in the place that he was getting changed at, because Edd did not find even one towel when he had searched the bathroom.

Edd started to change out of his jersey and swimsuit. The plastic hairnet was the next thing to be taken off. He was thankful that he was not facing the mirror at the moment. With the events from the last several days, he was in no mood to see the scar on his head or the hickeys on his body. He put his beanie back on when he heard the door open and close. He rushed to cover himself using the clothes that he was about to put on.

Unsurprisingly, his intruder was none other than Matthew. Edd rolled his eyes at the sight of the man. Knowing Matthew's perverse habits by now, the navy blue-haired ex-carnie probably barged in on him to watch him undress. "I'm not decent. Please remove yourself from the bathroom so that I can finish getting dressed."

"No can do, Princess." Matthew replied in a singsong voice, "I came to watch you."

Edd blushed, "All I'm doing is getting changed!"

"Not anymore," Matthew stated with a wicked glint in his eyes. He pulled the clothes that Edd used to cover himself with and set them near the sink.

"What do you mean?" Edd asked, hoping that Matthew would just let him change.

"Face the mirror," Matthew commanded, gruffly.

Edd's head started to swim. What was the man planning on doing now? He turned towards the mirror and caught his reflection. Instead of looking scared or worried like he would imagine himself looking like, his face was neutral. His body was still damp with pool water. He still had hickeys that were given to him by Matthew and Eddy. To his horror, his body was also starting to betray him. His cock started to stiffen just from being alone and naked in the same room as Matthew.

The twenty-four year old chucked quietly. "Looks like your body is honest about what it truly wants. You're so naughty, Sweetheart!" Matthew starting massaging his back as Edd watched him from the mirror. Edd felt Matthew's nails graze his skin a few times as Matthew continued. The caresses felt strangely pleasurable and he let a moan escape past his throat. "Your muscles are extremely tense," Matthew commented as he continued the massage. Edd was suspicious of what Matthew was up to. He knew for a fact that the elder was neither selfless nor kind enough to give someone else a massage without getting something from it in return.

Edd's suspicions were confirmed when Matthew started to knead his backside. Edd squeaked when he felt Matthew's rough hands grab onto his thighs and give them the same treatment as his back. His thighs were extremely sensitive and he was becoming even more erect from the man's action. He dared to glance at his own reflection in the mirror and saw that his cheeks were starting to flush.

"Are you going to try to sodomize me in this bathroom?" Edd asked nervously. The man did say that they would only have sex later on, right?

"What? Are you that impatient and can't wait until later on tonight, baby?" Matthew chortled, "Tell you what, if you ask real nicely, I'll give you a treat and get rid of your little problem for you."

Edd sighed. He knew that he would not be able to go out with his current problem. However, that did not mean that he would succumb to Matthew's perversion either. "I can handle it myself." Edd replied, bluntly.

"So you want to put on a show for me. I don't mind, because that would be so fucking erotic." Matthew purred. Edd could not win when it came to that guy. Matthew strolled over to the toilet and sat down, "You might want to get started before your boyfriend tries to look for you."

Edd groaned and dropped down to his knees. He started with slow and even strokes. It wasn't his first time masturbating, but it was his first time doing it in front of someone. From his few "self-service" sessions, he knew what felt good to him and how to lower his voice so that nobody could hear him. He always considered the act dirty before and after he took care of his needs. Compared to what he was doing at the moment, all of those times he pleasured himself alone in his room seemed innocent. He reached over for the lotion bottle on the counter and poured some on his appendage to lubricate it, not missing a beat. He gently teased the head a few times during his strokes.

The cold tiles of the floor made Edd shiver as he laid down on the floor. His pace started getting quicker the more that he started to get into his fantasy. It was like the usual fantasies he had involving Eddy. He fantasized that Eddy took him into his mouth by the pool.

Matthew's dirty, erotic whispers to him interrupted his fantasy. Instead of halting his stroking, he continued as Matthew whispered more dirty things to him. His legs started to stiffen as he imagined Matthew roughly taking him like the man had been threatening to do all day. His lust-addled mind did not care that Matthew was the current focus of his fantasy or that said man was in the same room with him. He just wanted to get off and his release was closely approaching. After a few more strokes, he released into his hand and onto his stomach, moaning out Matthew's name as he climaxed.

He laid on the cold floor motionless, completely spent. His heart thudded in his chest as he felt the afterglow of his orgasm. He crossed his legs as his cock softened, to preserve whatever modesty he had left of the situation – at least until he got up to get dressed. Right now, he really had no energy to wash himself of his own ejaculate.

When Matthew advanced towards him, he quickly sat up. Edd's whole body still felt like jello, especially his legs. Matthew crouched down next to him. Feeling subconscious from Matthew's roaming across his body, Edd folded his arms across his chest and kept his legs crossed. "That was pretty hot! You seemed like you were really into it. Could it be because I was in the room?"

"-Or it could just be your overinflated ego causing you to delude yourself again." Edd rebuffed Matthew as he stood up shakily. His legs still felt like they were a gelatin mold.

"I very much doubt that," Matthew snorted. He wiped away the extra cum on Edd's stomach with his hand, causing Edd to writhe from his touch.

"Why did you do that?" Edd watched in disgust as Matthew brought that same hand to his lips and lapped up the semen. "That's disgusting!" Edd screeched.

"You didn't think so when I sucked you off, Princess." Matthew smirked lasciviously. "It's just like that time, almost. Both times, I got to taste your little swimmers in the end."

"Could you please allow me to get washed up and changed? I don't want to discuss this any further!" Edd turned on his heel and stomped towards the sink. His face was the same color as a tomato.

"Alright," Matthew walked towards the door. "Just remember that we both have plans for this evening. See you when you're dressed, Sweetheart!" Matthew exited out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him. With the twenty-four year old gone, Edd could finally get dressed in peace. After scrubbing his body, Edd quickly changed into his clothes and exited out of the bathroom.

Edd looked in the pool room first, but there was no sign of Eddy or anyone else. He headed towards the entertainment and heard Eddy's voice coming from the same room that he was about to check next. Edd shook his head at how loud Eddy could be sometimes. When he entered the room, the first thing that caught his eye was Eddy gulping down a bottle of Jack Daniels. Edd groaned in disapproval of his friend's actions. The next thing he noticed was that Seth was the only one in the room with Eddy. Lucas was nowhere to be found and Matthew disappeared to another part of the house.

"Where the hell have you been Sockhead?" Eddy asked, "You've been gone for about fifteen minutes! Seth's been treating me as if I'm five years old since everyone disappeared."

* * *

A/N: Sorry for the delay! I was given quite a bit of homework from my professors this week.


	19. Daddy Issues

Seth stood outside of the door of the entertainment room with a scowl on his face. When Lucas invited him over to hang out, he expected to drink a few beers, bullshit with Lucas, and rip on Matthew for losing his job, the easiest job on the planet in Seth's opinion. What he did not expect was to be a pawn in Matthew's plan to chase underage tail and to babysit Matthew's kid brother.

Right now, he had to play guard while Eddy changed back into his clothes. Seth was not sure how that kid expected to change back into his clothes right away, since Eddy went swimming in his boxers, but he'll probably find out once Eddy gets done. "This fucking sucks a lot of dick! I just want to go back home to Nancy." Seth grumbled under his breath.

Eddy rapped on the door once he was done. Seth opened the door with a scowl on his face. Eddy sneered back at the man. What the hell did he do? Eddy walked over to the couch to sit down and wait for Edd to return. Seth sat at the table and returned to his game of darts, hitting a bull's-eye twice after failing a couple of times.

Eddy eyed the bar again. It appeared that the alcoholic bottles that he left in the theater room were returned to their original spot, how strange. The longer he waited for Edd to return, the longer that he dwelled on what he had seen on the videotape. He debated himself if he should ask Seth who the person was. After debating himself for several minutes, Eddy decided that it probably would not hurt to ask the man. "Uh Seth," He silently asked the question a bit hesitant over the response he might get, "Who was the red-haired guy in the video? The one that was tied to the monkey bars in one of the videotapes Lucas has?"

Seth did not seem angered or startled by the question. The fact that Seth remained nonchalant about the question was a bit eerie, "He's an old classmate of Matthew's, Lucas', and mine. He's nobody that you need to worry about."

"Why? Is he dead?" Eddy asked feeling a bit spooked that Seth did not want to talk about Matthew's mysterious bully victim.

Seth gave him a funny look, "Fuck, kid. How much of that crime drama TV bullshit do you rot your brain with? The guy in the video is still alive, as far as I'm aware of. I lost contact with him after high school graduation."

"Oh, it's just weird how you refuse to talk about him. You got to be leaving something out," Edd remarked.

Seth just shook his head and absentmindedly fiddled around with the dart in his hand, "You're better off just dropping the subject, you little ankle-biting brat. It's not my place to tell you who the guy is. Matthew probably would skin you alive if you bring the guy up to him and Lucas would tell Matthew instantly if you go to him. Some shit is better left alone."

"Oh," Eddy huffed. Seth was not any help when it came to finding out the identity of the mysterious guy. Eddy yawned in boredom. Most people would assume that it was impossible to be bored inside of a mansion that probably was the same size as the cul-de-sac, but it can be when a person does not know the layout of the home and that was the situation with Eddy.

He turned towards the liquor cabinet. Having a drink seems like a good idea right now and there were so many choices too. Several brands of the same kinds of alcohol, it was like walking into a bar and everything in stock being on the house. He did not even know where to begin. Might as well start with a bottle of Jack Daniels and work towards the harder liquor.

As Eddy gulped down the alcohol, Seth cleared his throat, "isn't that stuff bad for someone who probably has not even lost his v-card yet?"

"Go to hell, Seth," Eddy spat, taking another drink of his beverage, "I'll drink whatever the hell I want, so go have sex with yourself!"

"Fine, you want to ruin your own liver, that's up to you," Seth rolled his eyes, "– but let me tell you about what happened to my piece of shit dad when I was a kid."

"Do all of you fucks have daddy issues?" Eddy asked, annoyed, "I don't know about Lucas, but I know that Matthew hates Dad with a passion."

"Pretty much, Lucas is waiting for his own dad to drop dead for reasons that I can't tell you, except that Lucas' old man views him as "bad genes," because Lucas is unmotivated and has diabetes. Lucas is still pissed at his dad for remarrying." Seth explained, "Enough about that, I bet you're wondering about my dad."

"Not really," Eddy groaned, taking another drink of whiskey, "I still remember you shooting up drugs at my house when I was little. That's all I need to know about your life story."

"Too bad, you little shit," Seth glowered, "you're going to hear it anyway. Anyway, my dad was an alcoholic even before my parents got married and they had gotten married pretty young too. It just got worse the longer that my parents stayed married. He would get drunk and beat up my mom every single day. After my third birthday, I also started getting beat up by him for sticking up for my mom. Matthew and Lucas even witnessed my old man beating the fuck out of me once when we were still children. One day when I was about eleven, my dad had been sleeping in his car drunk and set himself on fire. He was too drunk to even put himself out, supposedly. The worse part of it was that I was happy when I heard the news that he was gone. No more getting beaten over insignificant shit. No more seeing bruises on my mom -"

"Yeah, I'm sorry about what happened with your dad and all, but that's not going to change my mind about alcohol," Eddy defiantly rebuffed Seth. Eddy turned away from Seth. He did not want to further witness Seth's anguish over his past. Seeing the guy's face tighten in a mix of sorrow and anger was enough for Eddy.

"I wasn't telling you that to try to change your mind, brat! I just wanted you to listen," Seth huffed, his face returning back to normal, "I bet if it was about your brother, you would be more curious."

"What about my brother?" Eddy asked, curiously. He turned back towards Seth.

"Really?" Seth snorted, "all right, what could I tell you that you don't already know? Do you that Matthew is bisexual?"

"What else is new? It took me a couple of days to accept it, but now I figure that it's no big deal." Eddy replied.

"Do you know the type of guys that Matthew usually went after?" Seth questioned him.

Eddy raised an eyebrow. "Do I want to know?" He was more worried about why Edd was taking so long to get changed than what his brother liked to stick his dick into. Edd has been away for about ten minutes now. Eddy wondered what his friend could be doing. He thought of the possibility that Edd could be also cleaning up before he got dressed to rid himself of any microorganisms that he could've gotten from the pool. Knowing Edd, Eddy considered that a good possibility.

"Perhaps," Seth responded subtly, "Matthew really didn't have a type of woman that he chased after, he went after all kinds of women, but he did have a type of guy that he would get a hard-on for, both figuratively and literately," Eddy grimaced in disgust over the thought. What his brother considered sexually arousing was not something he liked to think about.

Seth continued, "He hounded after wimpy-looking, mousy guys that probably weighed as much as a twig. The type of guys that you would expect not to put up much of a fight when Matthew pursued them. From what I heard, your brother would pursue them endlessly until they agreed to bend over for him. He bagged three of guys like that before his old man kicked him out and several guys like that afterward that I know of. Mattie is a horndog. If he sees a man or woman he wants to bed, he'll do it and won't give a damn about the consequences, whether they were married, jailbait, or god knows what else. That's just how your brother is."

"Bleh! What does any of that have to do with me?" Eddy made a face, "Trust me, I wished I didn't have to hear any of that."

Seth snickered, "well, it's just something to think about."

"Trust me, I don't wanna think about it. I think I'm going to have nightmares for the rest of my life. Thanks a lot, Seth! I don't think I'll be able to get hard ever again!" Eddy pouted as Seth cackled at him. The description Seth gave him did sound a lot like the guy that was tied up in the video. Did Matthew have a sexual relationship with the guy in the video? Eddy still could not recall how he remembered the guy. He had to have met the guy in the past, but when and where did he even meet the guy from the video?

Eddy continued drinking Jack Daniels as he remained in his seat. He did not want to discuss his brother any further with Seth. The things that Seth had told him so far were not things that Eddy wanted to think about. He took swigs out of the bottle in his hand to pass the time. After several minutes of silence, he heard the door open. He turned and seen that Edd at the door. Edd was dressed in his casual clothes and was looking around the room.

"Where the hell have you been Sockhead?" Eddy asked, "You've been gone for about fifteen minutes! Seth's been treating me as if I'm five years old since everyone disappeared."

"I'm sorry, Eddy," Edd apologized, "I was getting dressed and washed up as fast as I could."

Eddy found it extremely odd that Edd would not look him in the eyes and was acting a bit funny. Eddy brushed it off. Edd was probably still sore about Eddy dunking him in the pool or the fact that Eddy and Ed got stoned the night before. Edd could also still be skittish over the scuffle between him and Matthew. Whatever it was, Eddy was sure that it would pass eventually. His stomach began to rumble. He was going to need to find out where Lucas keeps his food.

"Whatever," Eddy dismissed, "Let's find some grub. I'm starving over here. We're still underage. What kind of cruel adult doesn't even ask two teenagers if they're hungry?"

"I doubt melodramatics are going to work, Eddy," Edd chastised his friend, "I'm sure if we locate Lucas and ask him, he would consider getting us some dinner."

"Hey, drama queen!" Seth addressed Eddy, "there's a smorgasbord in the dining room full of food on chafers that Lucas can't eat. His stepmom ordered the stuff for him as a cruel joke. I'm sure he wouldn't give a damn if you two consumed that burden for him."

"Ah thanks," Eddy replied, "so where's the food?"

"It's in the dining room," Seth replied, "It's the next room on the right past the pool room."

Eddy threw his arm around Edd's shoulders, "C'mon Sockhead! Lucas' big, bad burden is not going to eat itself."

"I hope you know that I'm only agreeing to this, because I have not consumed anything at all today," Edd muttered. He then turned to Seth, "thank you, sir! I'm grateful that you told you us."

"I haven't eaten anything since last night either. Let's go, Sockhead!" Eddy once again dragged him down the hallway until they reached the room that Seth told them about. Edd could smell the food from behind the door and his mouth started to water. Eddy opened the door and led him inside.

The dining room they were led into was a warm beige color and contained, yet, another chandelier that hung above the dining room table. Every single piece of furniture in the room was made from rosewood, which included the dining table and chairs, the buffet table, and the large cabinet with various fine china sets inside. A large painting of a champagne bottle and grapes hung on the wall above the buffet table. A vase filled with a bouquet of baby blue gym socks stood in the middle of the table. Of course, the flowers in the vase were fake flowers. Underneath the table, a Persian rug sat in the middle of the floor.

"What's with the pans? Did Lucas hold some kind of event here?" Eddy asked pointing towards the buffet table.

"No Eddy. Those are chafing dishes; they're used to keep food warm without the use of an oven or microwave," Edd explained, "Its name comes from the French word-"

Eddy quickly silenced Edd by covering Edd's mouth with his hand, "I didn't ask for a complete dictionary definition for it, Double D. I just want to eat."

Suddenly a voice appeared behind them, causing them both to jolt, "your friend's right, you know. Pity that you two had to ask Seth for food, I must be a terrible host not to offer you something to eat. Go ahead and eat until you're both content." Lucas was the one behind them. Both of the teens shuddered. Edd and Eddy both considered Lucas creepy, but they would never voice their opinion of the guy.


	20. Locked Doors

"Double D, I have a dilemma," Eddy stated, staring at the food as Edd lifted up the metal lids from the chafing dishes.

Edd expressed his gratitude to Lucas for the dinner and faced Eddy after he was done talking to the brunette adult, "What is it, Eddy?"

"That triple chocolate cake looks so good, but if I eat it, I'll lose my devilishly good-looking figure," Eddy boasted, waggling his eyebrows and flexing his muscles – or lack thereof. Edd covered his mouth and let out a silent giggle.

"Well don't eat it then and eat something else," Edd flipped up a few more lids, "donuts, trifles, éclairs, chocolate pie slices, cheesecake, and chocolate tarts? Well, bon appétit, I suppose." Edd decided on eating a trifle and a slice of cheesecake for dinner. He grabbed a plate and a fork from the end of the buffet table. Edd noticed when he gingerly grabbed a trifle bowl that both the chafing pans were not on and that the pastries were bought from a bakery located within the big city, as indicated by the labels on the plastic dishes that the desserts sat in. Lucas' stepmom did not even bother to take the dessert out of plastic containers before putting them in the chafing pans.

Edd and Eddy ate in silence until Lucas left the room. Edd stared down at Eddy's plate and, of course, Eddy's plate was filled with chocolate dishes, despite his complaint that he might lose his figure. "Geez, I think Lucas' stepmom is trying to put him into a diabetic coma, look at all of these desserts," Eddy pointed out the obvious before taking a bite of a chocolate tart. After he was done chewing and swallowing the tart, he started whispering to Edd. "Also, I found out some things about the guy in the video from Seth."

"What did you find out?" Edd asked. He had serious doubts over Seth offering Eddy any information freely. What was the man's motivation for doing so?

Eddy continued whispering, "The guy in the video was a classmate of theirs and is still alive."

"Well, that's a relief about the guy being amongst the living and all," Edd stated. He hoped with that bit of information, he could finally get bit of closure and forget what was on the tape. However, something at the back of his mind was telling him that there was more to the story.

"I need to know more about the guy though," Eddy stated, "we should search for Lucas' room and look for a yearbook or something. I bet we would find something that would tell us who the guy is."

"I honor the fact that you are concerned over the mysterious individual, but we cannot just rummage through Lucas' belongings for a clue on the individual," Edd protested.

"Then how do we find out who the guy is?" Eddy asked, "Huh, smart guy?"

"Look, Kevin's cousin, Sasha, knows your brother personally, correct?" Edd explained, "We could ask Kevin if he would be willing to tell us the whereabouts of his cousin. That would be a much more logical choice than risking Matthew getting suspicious and risk getting physically abused by him. If Matthew sworn his own friends to secrecy over the man, for whatever reason, he's not going to be too thrilled over us trying to uncover the truth."

"Fine, we'll ask Shovel Chin once we get out of here," Eddy agreed, reluctantly. He still had no idea if Kevin was still upset over his brother running over his fence and harming Nazz. If Kevin was, that would mean that Kevin might try to fight them again like what happened a few days previous. However, if it meant getting rid of the sick feeling in his gut that he had since he seen that video, he was willing to do anything.

~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~

After dinner, Eddy and Edd both strolled down the hallway. They both did not dare to venture any further in case they both ended up lost. They had seen perhaps three maids in the past hour, one carrying cleaning supplies. The usual topics that came up in their conversations were Ed, what kind of scams they could pull off – which they still could not come up with something new that was both plausible and legal, and on Eddy's least favorite subject; what they both were going to do when school started back up. Eddy was stumbling while drinking more from his Jack Daniels bottle while insisting that he was not drunk in the slightest.

They both ended up looking into the entertainment room where they could hear singing along with instrumental music. Edd had to admit, the music had a haunting, seductive trance to it. Too bad the music was also paired with Lucas' amateurish vocals singing along to the words on the screen. Karaoke might mean "empty orchestra" in Japanese, but it also probably means "tone deaf" in English. The screen, which Edd had not noticed in the room earlier, indicated that the song Lucas was singing was Duran Duran's "Save a Prayer." Edd had heard of the music group that sung the song, but he had not heard the song before.

"Ugh, I'm out of here," Eddy groaned, covering his ears, "the last thing I need this evening is to hear three assholes who sound like a dying moose when they sing."

Edd chuckled at the comment. Despite Eddy's protests, they stayed for a little while longer on the sidelines. After Lucas' song was over, he handed the microphone to Matthew. After shuffling through the songs, Matthew finally picked one and started up the music. The song he chosen was Danzig's "Mother."

Eddy led Edd away from the entertainment and they were back to wandering the halls aimlessly. Edd was not sure where exactly they were after they slowed down. Eddy was dragging him too fast for him to comprehend his surroundings. Now he was staring at an unfamiliar hallway with Eddy opening random doors until he found one.

"Over here, Sockhead," Eddy's voice was slurring due to how much alcohol was in his system.

Edd had no idea what Eddy found so interesting about the room he picked out, but he would soon find out. The room was actually a nice room. Maybe it was a mediation room of some sort? He was not sure what else to call the room. A bunch of throw pillows lay in the middle of the carpeted floor. One wall of the room was just one large window pane overlooking rushing water, most likely from the waterfall in the pool room. Two large bamboo plants stood against one of the other walls in the room.

On the opposite end of the room was a large fish tank filled with adult-sized pterophyllum or as they're normally called freshwater angelfish. The fish were quite beautiful and seemed well taken care of. There was one fish that was different though. One lone plecostomus, or suckerfish as it's normally called, had its lips pressed against the glass, almost looking like it was kissing the glass in front of it. It was more than likely bought to clean the algae in the tank.

"This seems like the perfect place to hang out in," Eddy replied, collapsing into the throw pillows.

Edd nodded and took a seat next to his friend, "I agree. You have picked an excellent room to relax in. The room is so well decorated and even has a sort of Zen atmosphere to it."

"Yeah?" Eddy put his arm around Edd's shoulders. Edd looked up and was caught by Eddy's gaze. One look into Eddy's dark eyes alone was enough for Edd to melt. The feeling of Eddy's arm around him added to the safe, warm feeling that Edd had whilst in Eddy's presence.

Edd moaned when he felt Eddy's lips press against his own. The only sounds he could hear in the room was rushing water from the waterfall behind the window pane and Eddy's heartbeat – or was it his own? He opened his mouth to let Eddy inside of the moist cavern. Eddy took his cue and slid his smooth tongue into his friend's mouth.

After several minutes of their tongues dueling, Edd felt Eddy's lips and tongue leave his mouth to trace along his jaw all the way down to his neck. Edd barely even noticed that Eddy was now on top of him. His mind was caught up in the pleasure of the act to think of anything else. He never wanted the feeling to end and he could tell that Eddy did not want it to either.

He moaned loudly in surprise when he felt Eddy pinching both of his nipples. He heard Eddy lightly chuckle in shameless carnal delight. Though it was a bit painful, feeling Eddy's hands caressing his nipples and his chest afterward dulled the pain into absolute bliss. Eddy caressed him all over his body. The other teen's caresses felt like silk against his soft skin.

Suddenly he felt Eddy groping on his clothed crotch. Another moan escaped from Edd's lips when he felt Eddy's hand against his crotch. Edd reached over to Eddy's crotch, gingerly grabbing it and gave him the same treatment he was receiving. His actions were hesitant and unsure. He had no idea what Eddy liked and his only sexual experience had been with Matthew. Not to mention that he was still technically a virgin.

Eddy nuzzled against his neck and whispered huskily, "Does that feel good, Sockhead?" Edd mewed as a response to Eddy's question. Eddy removed his hand from Edd's pelvic area and slid his hand underneath the waistband of both Edd's pants and underwear. It was at that moment that the reality of the situation hit Edd like a ton of bricks. He was taking advantage of an inebriated person. Eddy was stumbling on the way over to the room before their intense make out session and Edd could clearly smell the alcohol on Eddy's breath. Not to mention Eddy would forget this time like he did the last couple of times. Edd felt Eddy stroking his cock with even strokes.

"Eddy, stop!" Edd had to stop it. He removed his hand from Eddy's crotch. He also removed Eddy's hand from his cock and lightly pushed Eddy away.

"What?" Eddy tried to kiss Edd again, but was pushed away.

"Eddy, I mean it!" Edd said with a serious tone. "We can't do this."

"Why not? Y-you liked it just a second ago!" Eddy stated. The slurring of his voice became more apparent.

"I'm taking advantage of an intoxicated individual, Eddy! What I did is akin to the common sleazy criminal that has sexual relations with unconscious victims that are under the influence of Flunitrazepam!"

"What? No! C'mon Sockhead! Can't you realize that I want you to `take advantage' of me and continue from where we left off!" Eddy argued.

"You're too drunk to consent!" Edd shot back, "you can barely stand up without wobbling!"

"I don't need you to treat me like damn child, you fucking cocktease!" Eddy yelled, standing up, "You don't want to be with me, that's fine! Just stop acting like you want me so bad and turn me away when things start getting hot and heavy. I'm out of here!" Eddy turned on his heel and stormed out of the room.

"Eddy, come back here!" Edd yelled at the door. Eddy did not return to the room. Edd sat staring at the rushing water, completely stunned by Eddy's outburst. He just wanted to do the right thing, not sexually tease Eddy. He sat in complete silence for several minutes in order to get his thoughts in order and wait for his semi-erection to go down. Eddy's words were a bit hurtful, but the guy was not even in control of his own raging hormones at the moment let alone his temper. Things would return back to normal in the morning, they always do.

Edd decided to finally stand up and look for his friend. The door was locked either from Eddy locking it when he stormed out of the room. Edd unlocked the door and went to look for Eddy. He hoped that Eddy was not causing a scene. He continued walking, hoping to find Eddy.

"What happened with you and your boyfriend, sweetheart?" A pair of hands roughly grabbed his hips and Edd was pulled into the, thankfully, clothed crotch of the last person he wanted to see at the moment, "Pipsqueak looked pretty steamed when he entered the entertainment room. He even started snapping out at Seth and Lucas before I left the room."

Edd pulled himself away from Matthew and scowled, "nothing happened! I got to go check on Eddy!"

"Not so fast," Matthew grabbed his wrist and pulled the teen back to him, "If you're the one he's pissed it, it probably would not be a good idea for him to see you for the rest of the night. He'll be fine with Seth and Lucas for the night. Besides, Lucas had me show you to your room for the night."

"Oh, that was kind of him, I suppose," Edd pulled his hand away from Matthew, "I think I'll spend the rest of my night in the room. There's nothing in this lavish place that I would rather do than rest for the rest of the night."

"My, aren't you a cheery fucker," Matthew mocked sarcastically, "If you insist. Follow me, I'll show you actually where it is."

Despite Edd's better judgment, he followed the man down the hallway. All he wanted was to shut himself in a room for the night and wake up tomorrow, hoping that everything would go back to normal in the morning. He followed Matthew up a flight of steps to the upper level. The sight of chandeliers was starting to make him sick. They had to have been put in every single room and hallway in the entire house. There were so many of them. Matthew opened a door and held it open for him.

Edd just ran inside and flopped down on the bed, covering his head with a pillow. Why did Eddy have to be so temperamental, especially when he was drinking? Why could Eddy not understand, even in his inebriated state, that he would not take advantage of him? Every time Edd made the most logical and moral choice in a situation that he could think of, it always seemed to be the wrong choice to make. He heard the door shut, but decided to ignore it. There was no way that Edd's night could get any worse than it already was.

"Ah fuck," Matthew cursed, "looks like we're both locked in for the night." Matthew's voice could not sound any more suspicious to Edd in that moment.


End file.
